Backstory Who: Regulus Black and Dorcas Meadowes When: August 13, 1974 Where: Meadowes house What: Regulus and Dorcas being humane *gasp* after Dorcas's mother's funeral Rating: PG13, language, mentions of death, and some angst...definitely some angst Status: Complete/logged Notes: No one ever let me and Devin take a road trip together ever when we have nothing to do but log. I apologize for the length...we had more than 10 hours of bus/train rides to write even after I did my homework.
They say that when you experience an emotional trauma your mind goes into shock. You can't feel or properly react to the situation at hand. The world goes dim and you feel numb. Time slows and all around you is a sense of emptiness. A thick void starts to fill your chest.
It had been nearly a week and Dorcas still couldn't feel. She'd barely spoken a word and not a single tear had rolled down her cheek. She couldn't cry and she wasn't sure if it was shock or the fact that when her mother died the part that was caring and compassionate had died along with her. Either way the fourteen year old girl stood in the corner of the room filled with her father's 'associates' and their families, wearing a very simple black dress and a vacant expression. She wasn't focused on anything as her mind was replaying the sound of her mother's terrified screams over and over. Swallowing hard, she moved to take a seat on the couch near the window.
Regulus had heard what had happened to Dorcas's mother from his parents. They had never been overly fond of the woman because of her freethinking ways, but they tolerated her because she knew how to throw a party. Despite his rocky relationship with Dorcas, Regulus had begged his parents to go with them to the gathering. He knew she didn't have a great number of friends. Even if they weren't particularly friendly, he wanted to at least try to be there.
He wore his simplest black dress robes and began to search for her as soon as he could. His parents always insisted that he socialize properly before he could do as he pleased at this sort of thing. Regulus couldn't even imagine losing his mother so he didn't know what sort of state Dorcas'd be in when he found her. After a few minutes, he gave up and sat by himself on the couch. A moment later, he felt someone sit next to him
When he realized who it was, his manners kicked in. "My deepest regrets for your loss, Dorcas," he murmured.
Dorcas didn't notice anyone else on the couch when she sat down. She didn't notice Regulus until he said her name. After a moment, his words suck in and a scowl formed on her already drawn features.
"Oh yes, that's brilliantly helpful to me. I'm glad to hear that your regretful for my loss. You know what I'm regretful of? The fact that my beautiful, intelligent, insightful mother was stupid enough to marry a murderer. I'm very, very regretful of that." She let out a sigh and turned to look out the window. The fact of the matter was the only people who were at all sorry to see Evelyn Meadowes dead were sitting on that couch. However, that fact only proved to be more upsetting to the girl as she folded her arms across her chest in a defensive maneuver.
Regulus was taken aback by what she said. He was very nearly insulted by it as he only meant well. The only thing that kept the sting of actual insult at bay was that he knew that most of what she'd just said had been said out of pain. However, he didn't know where to go from here either.
He looked down at his hands for a moment before chancing a glance back at her. He'd never seen her more guarded and stoic than she was in that moment. Regulus let out a small sigh, even at the age of twelve he knew it wasn't right.
"I truly am sorry, y'know" he said quietly.
Dorcas sat scowling at the floor. She refused to break down here of all bleeding places. She hadn't cried yet and she wasn't about to give anyone there the pleasure of seeing her crack. Not while they all stood around, pretending to grieve, quietly celebrating the death of the one woman out of the lot of them who had any sense about her. She saw the sickeningly smug look on all of their faces. She wanted to yell and scream and shake the fecking smirks from their faces. She knew, however, that would likely earn her the same horrible fate as her mother. And so she sat. in her place as ever. Scowling at the floor.
That is until Regulus spoke again.
"Makes no difference," she muttered, "Seems you and I are the only ones who are. And don't go letting them hear you talking like that." she let out a sigh and leaned back into the couch.
Regulus struggled to not look bewildered by her remarks. He couldn't believe they were truthful so he looked about the room. She was right, once again. Not one person in this room outside the pair on the couch looked truly grief-stricken, or even mildly upset for that matter. He forced his features back into a more neutral expression before turning to talk to the girl again.
He looked at her in an almost thoughtful manner as he tried to think of something comforting to say. He opened his mouth to say something but hesitated. He looked back down at his hands and came as close as a Black comes to fidgeting. For some reason, sitting there had become remarkably uncomfortable.
Dorcas glanced at him and lifted an eyebrow in confusion. "What," she started in what could only be described as an exasperated tone, "in bleeding hell is your issue?" She couldn't quite figure out this bloke most days and while it was certainly intriguing, it frustrated her to no end.
"If you've something to say, you'd better keep in mind the company we're in before you open your mouth." she warned as two men who looked downright giddy moved closer to the pair.
Regulus's eyebrows disappeared into his hairline at her questioning. Luckily, he was able to play it off as if the sudden appearance of the men had caused it, and not his sudden realization of feelings. He rose and used what ever authority he had as a member of the Black family to get the men to clear out so the pair of the could speak more freely.
"That," he said as he sat back down, "is exactly what I was doing." He drew in a deep breath as he tried to come up with something to say that he could've wanted to say but stopped at the approach of company.
"You want to get some air?" he asked. He tried not to sound too hopeful but honestly, he hated the atmosphere here as well.
Dorcas gave him a skeptical look, her dark eyes fixing on his for a long moment before she spoke. "You needed to mind the company we were in before asking if I wanted some air?" she asked slowly shaking her head. She shifted to stand, smoothing the wrinkles on her dress as she did.
"Never mind. Air, I think, is an ace idea," she stated as she waited for him to stand as well. She stiffened slightly as he awkwardly took her arm to escort her. She hated that bleeding practice. She was, after all, perfectly capable of walking somewhere of her own accord and need no one's assistance. She, however, knew her father would rage if he saw her blatantly decline a Black's offered arm and so she conceded her pride for the moment.
As they walked towards the balcony a gentleman Dorcas recognized as an "associate" of her father's offered his regrets for her loss.
"I thank you, sir. But feel compelled to remind you to not look so joyful as you offer said regrets. It makes one question your intentions. If you'll excuse me, Master Black is escorting me to the balcony." With that she all but dragged Regulus outside.
"No! I mean…yes!" Regulus quickly corrected, "So they wouldn't follow us." He inwardly groaned at this new found inability to think and act rationally in her presence. It was down right absurd. "Brilliant."
He followed her to a standing position. As ridiculous, as the tradition was, he hesitantly offered his arm which she harshly took. He let her lead the way since he wasn't terribly familiar with her house.
When they were approached by the other man, Regulus fought the urge to snap at him. It seemed, however, that Doracas was more than capable of doing that herself. He struggled to not let his emotions show on his face as he nodded curtly to the man as Dorcas started onward again.
Once they were outside he rounded on her quickly. "Have you gone mental?" he demanded sounding terrified, "Are you trying to get yourself killed?" With that he stormed over to the railing to scowl at some of the other guests who seemed to be dancing below.
"So what if I bloody well am?" she snapped back at him. "It's only a matter of time before they're in the mood for another party as lovely as this on is." She crossed to the opposite side of the balcony and folded her arms across her chest. "Besides, that 'gentleman'" she started complete with air quotes, "was practically dancing on my mother's grave." She fell silent and simply looked out over the grounds of the manor. "Anyhow, it's not likely I'll be terribly missed." she murmured mostly to herself.
He looked over to where she was sadly. His youth had kept him from truly understanding how miserable she was up until this moment. He hesitated again, cursing his luck when it came to this ort of thing. Honestly, weren't girls disgusting only a few months ago?
Regulus pulled together what courage he could muster and walked ovver to stand next to her. He was truly at a loss for words as the silence stretched on. He took the opportunity to look over to her. He carefully studied her face before looking away once again out of fear that she'd notice him.
"I'd miss you," he murmured.
She could feel him standing there beside her and she tensed, though only slightly. She hated feeling so bleeding weak and vulnerable. She knew she was stronger than all of this her mother had always told her as much, but somehow, without that woman here to remind her she felt as though anything could set her off. At Regulus's remark, however, she started. She turned to examine his expression before turning to look back over the balcony.
"You'd miss me for a day or so. Certainly at the funeral, who would you talk to after all, but then you'd move on. You'd realize that I'm probably better off and you'll certainly be better rid of me and my horrible influence." She let out a sigh and moved away from him again.
Regulus whined when he felt her turn to look at him. He knew he'd crossed a line with that remark. But what he hadn't expected, at least not entirely, was her searing retort. He watched her walk away and nodded.
"You're right," he conceded a bit a bit sadly, "but that will be an awful day." He didn't mean to be sentimental. As he saw it, he was just telling the truth as he'd been told. Regulus didn't move to follow her though. He held his spot at the railing. He saw his parents in the throng below, laughing at something somebody had said. It wasn't right, not at all.
Dorcas turned and gave him an almost smirk but didn't say a word. Instead, she simply leaned against the railing and took a deep breath. Somehow, she always know it would come to this. She knew her mother was trapped n a loveless marriage by social laws she didn't even believe in. Dorcas was well aware of the goings on in that cold house. She just wished the tables were turned. She wished she and her mum would've gotten out in time. She knew she couldn't stay. Not anymore. She'd need to leave. However, leaving before she could hide herself would be as good as suicide and though she talked, she'd never do anything that stupid.
She glanced over at Regulus, watching had he held himself and how he managed to keep everyone around him pleased enough. She gave a sad sort of smile before sighing. "How much longer d'you reckon I have to keep up appearances before I can lock myself in my room?" she asked.
Glad to at least gotten her to almost smirk, he relaxed a bit. He kept leaning over the railing and watching the people below. There was part of him that wondered if this sort of thing wuld happen for his brother. A party in the place of a proper funeral…he quickly pushed that thought aside. He reminded himself that it couldn't happen.
Regulus was pulled from his musings by her question. He looked at the sky and saw the beginnings of orange and red appear at the horizon. He remained quiet a moment before answering. "You could go now, if you want, I'll tell them you felt ill." It was the least he could do in his eyes.
"And leave you to the sharks?" Dorcas asked raising a brow, "Very generous, but c'mon then." She nodded to the door. She leaned up against the glass for a moment peering inside. She spotted what she'd been looking for and cracked the door open a bit. "Finn!" she hoped to get the house elf's attention. The creature's floppy ears perked a bit as he gave a frantic look around. Seeing his mistress, he gave a small squeak and hurried over.
"Yes, Miss Dorcas?" he greeted obediently.
"M'going to need a favor. Regulus and I are buggering off for a bit. If anyone is looking for us tell them…something and then use that stone mum gave you," she instructed politely.
"Yes miss!" Finn squeaked before dashing off.
"C'mon, we've got about an hour before anyone really bothers to look."
Regulus was mildly surprised that she wouldn't leave him out to hang. He was a bit nervous, however, about what exactly they were going to be doing but he trusted her enough to follow her without question until they came across her elf.
He raised an eyebrow at her instructions to the creature but waited to ask questions until he had run off. "What is it we're doing exactly?" he questioned as he kept following her. It was mostly because he was afraid of what would happen if his parents tried to leave and they couldn't find him
"Don't ask questions." she instructed as she turned a corner. She was walking quickly, her heels clicking loudly on the marble floors. She led them down a set of stairs, through a dimly lit hall, past a few surly looking statues and to a rather large painting hanging on the wall.
"Open." she said in a hushed voice. The woman in the painting gave a soft smile and a ink before swinging forward to reveal a small passage. "C'mon then." she called back over her should. She kept walking forward, torches lighting up along the way. "It's just a bit further."
Regulus kept close to her as he followed. He glanced around every so often to make sure no one had followed the pair. This was the furthest into her house he'd ever been. Every so often they'd pass something that on any other day he'd ask to stop and look at but her urgency seemed to forbid it.
At the portrait, he stood agape. He knew that some houses had secrets, but this was down right hidden. There was something about it that almost frightened him. But he followed her anyway. Her willingness made it almost seem all right.
The passage went on a little ways and ended quite abruptly. The appeared to have reached a dead end but Dorcas didn't hesitate. Instead, she walked to the wall, took three steps and jumped upwards reaching into the nothingness. However, she came down holding a string and pulling a trap door down. She unfolded the ladder and began to climb.
"We're here," she said over her shoulder as she climbed out. And they certainly were. It was a small patch of land with six gold hoops, three at each end. On the side there was a large shed to which Dorcas began heading.
Secret passageways were one thing, but trapdoors? That was another can of flobberworms entirely. He paused at the bottom of the ladder. He was surprised when he saw the blue sky above him. He climbed up and looked around before clamoring out after her.
"Brilliant," he murmured in awe. Regulus couldn't believe that they had actually just walked out onto a pitch. "Where is this?" he asked still examining his surroundings completely awestruck.
"Technically?" she said a bit hesitantly, "At the very edge of the property." She fiddled with the handle of the shed before it opened to reveal a few brooms, quidditch robes and a set of equipment.
"My father isn't exactly careful with finances. Mum knew I loved quidditch and so little by little…" she trailed off. "Anyhow, it's charmed safe from him and so sometimes this is where I disappear to." She shrugged. "Finn will warn us if we're going to get into a mess and until then, I'm going to show you how one properly finds a snitch."
Regulus was admittedly a bit jealous. His parents saw quidditch as a hobby and nothing more. He loved to play but was expected to 'grow out of it' when he left school. He helped himself to a broom after she had taken hers. At Dorcas's remark about catching a snitch though, a smirk flashed across his face.
"Oh?" he said challengingly. "I believe I caught the snitch in the last match we had against each other." True, it had been by a stroke of dumb luck but he knew it still bothered her to have lost to him. he got on and pushed off the ground, hovering just a few feet above her head.
"Coming?" he called.
Taking a moment to release the snitch, Dorcas shot up into the air after him. "You caught the snitch the last match because your bloody beater nearly blinded me with that bludger." she pointed out with a challenging glance. The snitch wizzed around each of them before darting off. "This time it's just the pair of us. On your mark, get set…" she sped off, "Go!" She called out over her shoulder as she immediately started looking for the small golden ball.
Regulus followed after her a moment before drifting upward. He came to rest just below the height of the hoops before starting to drift about the pitch. His eyes searched the air for the elusive ball. There was no denying that he'd likely lose this match as she really was the better seeker of the two.
Dorcas slowed her pace but kept moving. Her eyes continued to scan about for any hint of a glimmer. Brown waves blew backwards in the wind, keeping out of her line of sight. She circled the pitch in an almost predatory manner, eyes narrowed as she examined every inch of the field. Finally catching sight of something, she ripped into a dive never breaking her gaze for a moment.
He had stopped paying attention to his hunt for the snitch and just took in the scenery around him. it really was pleasant out here. The next thing he saw was Dorcas pulling into a dive about ten feet below him. he knew he didn't have a chance but he dove after her anyway. Regulus pulled to a stop just as she caught the snitch.
"Good show," he said with a nod of congratulations. He hadn't really been trying but he was hoping she didn't notice.
"Shut it Mr. I'm-too-much-of-a-pouf-to-try," Dorcas shouted to him. She would've caught it regardless, but when he spent more time admiring the scenery than hunting for the snitch, it took the fun out of it.
"If I let the sodding thing go again are you going to continue staring at my arse or are you going to play?"
Damn. She'd noticed. Regulus was about to go get back into his position when her mouth started up on on him. when she'd suggested he'd been staring at her arse, he accidentally let go of the broom out of shock. At the last second before falling, he managed to reach out and grab the handle with one hand.
He hung there a moment and tried to pull himself up to no avail. His face colored as he realized he was going to need her help to get down or back on again. He got the broom to turn so he was facing Dorcas again.
"A hand if you don't mind?" he asked as evenly as he could.
Dorcas watched as he nearly fell, letting out a breath she hadn't realized she'd been holding as he grabbed the handle. She moved towards him slowly as he struggled. The longer he struggled the faster she moved until he finally asked for her help.
"Don’t get your knickers in a twist. That broom can smell fear." she said as she got closer. "you're going to have to jump onto mine, " she said as she watched the broom twitch. "It'll buck you off if you try to get on that no." With that she reached for his hand and positioned herself so he could easily hop on.
Regulus glared at her from his position. This was mildly humiliating. He started muttering to himself about his situation until finally said, "Fine." Brilliant, now his voice decided to crack.
He grabbed her outstretched hand with his free on. Gracelessly, he dropped himself onto the back of her broom. "Sorry," he muttered. He watched his broom drop like a stone to the grass.
"Guess we're done playing then, yeah?" he asked as he tentatively put his hands on her waist.
The broom gave slightly as he dropped, but Dorcas quickly straightened it out, the smirk still present on her face from when his voice cracked.
"Not in the slightest," she grinned over her shoulder before leaning into the broom. They took off towards the opposite side of the pitch. She urged them higher and made a few sharp turns. "You'd better hang on!" she warned before leaning into a dive.
As he wasn't expecting the sudden change in speed, Regulus ended up clinging to Dorcas desperately. The one thing he never quite got over was his fear of falling off his broom . He especially hated not being in control of such a thing. Regulus squeezed his eyes shut as she pulled into the dive and began hoping to Salazar that he wouldn't fall off.
Dorcas laughed inwardly as he clung to her like a small child. She of course watited until the very last moment to pull out of the dive before landing them safely to the ground. As she dismounted, she gave Regulus a cheeky glance. "Wet yourself, Black?"
Just then, the stone in her pocket began to heat up. She pulled it out and frowned when she saw red.
"Bugger, time to go," she said grimly. Waving her wand, the things mad their way back to the shed while she grabbed Regulus's hand and headed to the trap door.
"No," he mumbled as he got off the broom. Regulus watched her curiously as Dorcas checked the stone. Nodding as he didn't hesitate to follow her back to the corridor and back the way they came. They reached the balcony just as his parents were coming to look for him.
"Come now, Regulus," Walburga said briskly as she eyed Dorcas, "We're leaving." Regulus nodded obediently and turned back to Dorcas to say his good-byes.
"I'm sorry, again, Dorcas," he said loudly enough for his mother to hear. He winked before turning to follow his parents. He was likely to be scolded for atrocious behavior but he didn't care…not much anyway.
Dorcas jumped when she heard Mrs. Black's voice. She turned and engaged in a harsh stare with the older woman as if daring her to say something. When Regulus turned back to her she gave him a polite smile.
"Thank you, Regulus." She watched the three leave before going to find her father and tell him that she wasn't feeling well and she was going to the room for the rest of the evening.