"Well, I could but... that's called cannibalism and is frowned upon in many societies." He adjusted his grip on her when she sagged so that he had one arm about her shoulders. "Let's get you sitting down before you do a face plant." He ignored her pleas to be left alone and steered her towards the couch in the living room, just a few steps away from the kitchen.
When he reached the couch, he pressed gently on her shoulders to get her to sit down. "Sit," he ordered. "And calm the fuck down. You're drunk off your ass and you're going to be very annoyed with me in the morning."