"No, he's not." He released his staff and it stood straight up on its own as the old wizard used his now free hand to point at the so called 'Superman'. "Just look at the way he's dressed! Underwear goes underneath the pants, not over them!" He paused as he started to munch on the candy corn. "Unless that's a new trend. Do the kids on MTV wear that these days? It's hard to keep track of what you young folk claim is groovy."
"Jokes? Who would joke about sketchy kidnapper vans?" Fizban had no idea what she was talking about (ok, he pretended not to know) and continued to snack on the rejected candy. Hmph, kids these days. It wasn't even linty! It was even the name brand and he'd just bought it the other day! The saleslady had assured him that the kids loved it. Lies and slander, that's what it was. "I suppose candy corn isn't up to today's standards. Not enough wi-fi in it. No broadband. Sad state the days are in when good old fashioned candy corn isn't enough for you."
He raised his hand to adjust his hat, "No one knows, young lady. One day it just appeared here, just like you. Personally, I think it's the doing of the notorious Hat Stealing Crime Ring." It always came back to those sneaky little spawns of the Abyss. "Hat Stealing Bastards. One day, they'll get theirs! I'll find my hat and stop their wicked ways! I'll wipe that smile of that Bastard's pasty white face!"
And just as quickly as his dramatic vow was made, he was smiling as though it hadn't happened. "This is Metropolis, grand city, too. Lovely. Except for those pesky tanks and the soldiers." As if on cue a military helicopter flew overhead and despite his random behavior Fizban looked concerned. "You shouldn't be here, you know. They don't look too kindly on the people wandering in here without a permit. Not that they hand them out. Paranoia. Government. All hush hush until they know why it's here."