Desirae Lawson (lawson_) wrote in reality_dome, @ 2014-04-25 21:02:00 |
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Entry tags: | desirae lawson, linda ryder |
Growing hunger pains
Characters: Desirae and Linda
When: Thursday 12:30pm
Location: The pool in the Keep
Warnings/Rating: Little bit of language
Summary: Distracting herself from her problems
Status: Complete
This was all starting to become unbearable and Desirae was about to lose her mind, or possibly take her frustrations out on someone less deserving because when did that not make you feel better. It had been days now and her problem with swallowing was only getting worse, which came as little surprise to her. As soon as this week started and she began to get that funny feeling in her throat she knew she was in for something, still she didn't foresee it getting to be this bad. Just a couple of days ago she was still eating normally, or at least somewhat normally by having only soft foods, liquids and soups but as time passed even that became too difficult for her. She began to distrust food and distrust her body's ability to eat it. Her throat constricted every time she thought about food or even pulled up a memory of the last time she had eaten. She had still been trying to eat to keep herself nourished but it was as if her throat threw up a road block. She could stuff as much food as she wanted in her mouth, none of it was going anywhere, her body simply wouldn't allow it. Even the few times she was lucky to get one bite of something down, her gag reflex would send it right back up again and then seize control of her throat allowing only liquid to pass. She had been surviving on Gatorade now for the passed two days and even that was starting to become a little difficult. The flavor of it made her body think it was food and would still sometimes shut her throat down and she would have to go back to water for a while until she was able to handle more. Given what she had done with her mouth in her life, she almost found this laughable. Her gag reflex had never been a problem before, she had learned excellent control over it but now it was on overload and was driving her completely up the wall and moreover she was starting to lose her focus on the fact that swallowing was something just natural to do. It was starting to look more and more like some evil action that would only lead to her possibly choking on something and dying, having lived sad, short and shameful life. Those feelings did well to keep her from trying anymore food even though her current liquid diet was still barely keeping her afloat. The hunger panes were a constant for her despite how much she drank and were making it impossible for her to do much else other than wish for this all to just end. Ironically, this wasn't exactly something she was entirely unfamiliar with, as in her time on the streets she regularly went without food. Even when she lived in the homeless shelters there never was enough to go around and she had always made due with what she had. She needed to go back to that mindset, remember what she used to do in order to forget about that nagging pain in her gut. Eventually, it all came back to her, a distraction. She used to do anything and everything she could to take her mind off of it and that was exactly what she was going to do now. Besides, now that her kitten's wings had finished coming in she needed to get out of the cabin anyway. That sight was just too much to look at and process in her state. Throwing on a strapless white bikini, a pair of shorts to put over it and her towel, she slipped her feet into a pair of sandals and made a beeline for the Keep. She hadn't been swimming in the whole time that she'd been here and before that she very rarely ever had the chance to go but right now it seemed like a great idea. Walking into the Keep she headed straight for the pool, placing her towel down on a chair and shaking out of her shorts. She wrapped her long hair up into a bun on her head and dove in head first, the coolness of the water being bracing but enjoyable as well. She started to swim a few laps but could feel how much energy that was taking out of her and instead just started floating on her back, closing her eyes and just letting her mind wander. |