In Diagon Alley, Man arrested for traveling with Sexual Devices. By Glenda Barker Maddox Carpentor has been arrested attempting to floo over 30 different "sexual devices," all of which are dangerous to human safety, according to floo security. The suspect was apprehended at a bar drinking a martini, wearing a trench coat and grinning like an evil cat. According to officials, the trench coat was "lined with sexual devices in a display-like fashion, as if the suspect was trying to sell them." The devices were "crude and exotic," some devices even utilized ropes, electricity, or fire. A fellow flooer reported the trench coat sporting Carpentor to floo security when she noticed an odd protrusion sticking out from Carpentor's coat. Carpentor was quickly apprehended and brought in for questioning. Carpentor maintains innocence despite being caught with the arsenal of pleasure.
Flooers are outraged and confused as to how someone carrying that many devices could do such a thing.
McLaggen Likes Dirty Underwear By Rachel Lively
Today WW Can Officially Reveal Cormac McLaggen wears dirty underwear. This is becuase, Cormac McLaggen's underwear was seen by one of our reporters which made us make the general public aware. Perhaps he thinks it's good luck.
Cormac revealed to a close friend this morning that it is his life and so what. Proving that he does indeed wear dirty underwear.
It seems to us Cormac McLaggen doesn't want to spend any money on new underwear so we are urging people to send him some to clean up Cormac McLaggen's appeal. After reading this we urge underwear manufacturers to come forward and donate some pairs, perhaps get him half dressed on a billboard. The ladies wouldn't mind seeing that.
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November 9, 2004
McCormack is a Lesbian! By Apple Smith Meghan McCormack, Pride's captain, proudly worn a gay flag at the gay parade held yesterday in her home town. She was seen cheering and smiling with a group of her fiends.
Meghan, is well known for her years of long commitment to a goal of spreading idea of improved human rights. ''Freedom of sexual orientation is in the core of human rights! I am lesbian and I am proud of it!'' said Meghan McCormack at the opening of the parade to a friend, or was it a girlfriend?
This gay parade had over 8.000 visitors and it was much bigger then the last one. This is a second gay parade held this year.
Davies wins Title By Teresa Gallent
Arrows chaser won this prestigious award on a recent world championship held in a German town Lickensiedicken. By having a longest dick, Davies also won his place in history, by being the 53rd man who lifted this trophy in the half century long history of this competition.
Contest lasted for 3 days. In this period of time judges had to measure 833 penises from all around the world. There were some minor incidents when a group of horny MILF's tried to have sexual intercourse with a group of contestants.
Famous porn star Ron Jeremy was given the honor to open this contest. Prominent members of adult industry Rocco Siffredi, Peter North and Jenna Jameson were also seen among the visitors of this contest. There were also a lot of managers from adult industry present. They were seeking for a new talent. And we also received an information that Davies was offered 6 figure contract with one of the best productions of xxx rated muggle movies.
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November 9, 2004
Angelina Goes Wild By Yolanda Parkenson Angelina Johnson, Magpie's Chaser started fight in a London Prada store yesterday.
Incident started when muggle Paris Hilton tried to took a shoe form Angelina's hand. Then Angelina took baseball bat from the case and hit Paris into face. Angelina Johnson was arrested, but shortly after the incident she was released.
Paris received some light injuries of the upper lip and nose. Angelina didn't had any injuries. After the accident Paris said that she will sue Angelina and that every Lawyer in France will be after her.
Naked Chaser? By Rebecca Remers
Tamsin Applebee was caught naked in the early hours of the morning. Tamsin Applebee seems to like to walk around naked amid rumours others have seen Tamsin on several other incidents naked but only made us aware after it came to our attention.
Tamsin refused to comment to WW Today. However we are urging people to be aware of Tamsin and how Tamsin likes to be naked. We also like to inform parents and others who do not wish to see Tamsin naked to avoid places where Tamsin Applebee and any of her associates could be found. It is rumored that she and Demelze Robins both enjoy wandering around without clothing on.
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Please note that this all basically lies! It's just for a bit of fun, rumors rule the world!