Gusmas 2010 Title: Holiday Wishes (Part 2) Author: </a></b></a>kay_jay_dee Prompts: The last 18. Notes: 18 drabbles, and a billion thank you's to </a></b></a>xie_xie_xie for being such a fabulous beta. This is the second part of the story that was too big for one post. All together, it's all 37 prompts in order.
Baby, It’s Cold Outside
I shiver when I pull the blankets up. The worst thing about being single is having to get into a cold bed every night without anyone to put his arms around me. Even when I was just a boy, I used to try sneak Fetch past my mama and into my room so he could sleep on my feet.
It's times like this when I miss Drew the most. He always held me tighter than anyone else ever did.
Goddamn it. I just had to go and think of Drew, didn't I? Now I'm never going to get to sleep.
A Christmas Carol
See, the thing about Drew is that he isn't the one who got away. He's the one who I fucking let go because it was the right thing to do. It was the only thing I could do.
But sometimes I wish those ghosts from Hermione Baddeley's movie - what was it called? Scrooge - had visited me and shown me what life would be like without him.
Debbie was right, though, I tell myself. He needed to experience that big, fabulous gay world out there.
But I miss him. And I think I thought that he would have called by now.
What have you done today to make you feel proud?
After all that we'd been through, I said when I let him go, why wouldn't we be able to survive a temporary break up? Three years later, and it doesn't seem so temporary any more. The closest I've been to him is watching Iron Men games with Carl. He still looks amazing in those pants.
It's my fault. I let my fucking pride get in the way of calling him.
Maybe I'll do that tomorrow. Call and see if he wants to have a drink... that will really be something to be proud of.
I don't. Instead, I call Michael.
University of Pittsburgh (picture)
"Hello?"
"Michael?"
"Yeah."
"Baby, how did you know that Ben was the one?"
"I... I don't know, Em. Lots of reasons."
"Tell me."
Silence.
"Michael, tell me."
"Um... 'beneath his mild-mannered appearance beats the heart of a superhero'."
"Oh, honey, that's beautiful. Um, what is it?"
"Nothing, never mind. It was the way he looks when he's writing, and the way he says he loves me, and how he teaches his students to fight hate with words and reason, and the fact that he loves Hunter, and the way -" his voice catches just a little " - he's so fucking brave."
Fathers and Sons
My daddy used to say that a boy became a man the first time he shot something. I say that a boy becomes a man when he marches in his first Pride. But with Michael, I think it was getting over Brian, finding Ben, and adopting Hunter. I'll never forget the smile on his face when Hunter graduated.
I'm smiling when I put down the phone. If anyone deserves that happiness, it's Michael. And Ted, too. Thank God he has it with Blake. Those two are the best men I've ever met and they've never shot anything in their lives.
A Phone Call
I run downstairs to pick up the phone. "Hello?"
"Emmett?"
"This is..." I suddenly recognise that deep voice. "Oh, my God. Drew?"
"Emmett."
"Drew! Oh, my God, why are you...? I mean, you - I... What?"
"How are you?" he asks.
"I... I'm fine. Yeah, I'm fabulous. How are you?"
I don't really hear his answer because I'm not fabulous. I'm freaking the fuck out. I have to lean against the counter because I can't stand up any longer. Why the fuck is he calling me?
My answer comes a second later. "Emmett, I think I've reached my twenty first birthday."
Solstice
I don't know long I stand in the kitchen for after hanging up the phone. Hearing Drew's voice again was like... watching the sun come up after the longest night of the year, especially when he said my name in that way that only he says it.
He wants to see me again. That's exactly what he said: "Emmett, I want to see you again."
I couldn't even reply. It’s because I'm afraid. What if I make the wrong choice? What if I get my heart broken again? I don't want to lose him again. I can't lose him again.
A Moment of Truth
I suddenly remember what Michael said about Ben on the phone yesterday. I pull out a chair, sit down, and close my eyes.
I remember the way Drew used to smile when he looked at me, the way he'd laugh, the way he'd talk to Carl for hours about football.
I remember how he'd look at me when we were in bed together.
I remember the first time he kissed me in that motel.
I remember the way he shoved people out of the way until he could hold me after the explosion at Babylon.
Holy shit. He's the one.
Unexpected Guests
"What's wrong, honey? Emmett?"
I jump and look at Debbie. "What?"
"You haven't said anything all evening." She presses the back of her hand to my forehead, checking for a fever. "Are you sick?"
I shake my head. "I'm fine, Deb. I just -"
The doorbell rings and interrupts me. "I'll get it." I stand up, open the door, and stare. I don't answer when Debbie says, "Who is it, Emmett?"
Because it's him, Drew Boyd, the man who is possibly the love of my life, standing there, tall and dark and handsome...
And he's holding a bunch of red roses.
Christmas Eve
Drew pushes me against the wall, then onto the bed, his mouth hot and open on mine. I don't let go of him; I haven't since I saw those roses and did some pretty impressive tackling of my own.
He's pushing inside me, and I'm begging for it because it's exactly like it used to be, only better because it's been such a long time that I'd almost forgotten what it was like, but it's still wonderfully familiar and safe and home.
I swear to God, this is the best Christmas present ever... and Christmas is still five hours away.
Christmas Day
"Wow," I pant, rolling onto my back. "Baby, I need a moment. You... you haven't changed at all."
He gives me the same self satisfied smirk that he used to in the motel, but instead of going to the bathroom and cleaning himself up like he always did, he wraps his arms around me. "I never should have left," he says.
I rest my head on his chest. "You needed to." It's easy to say this now I have him back.
"I meant to call..."
"So did I." I glance at the clock and kiss him softly. "Merry Christmas, Drewsie."
Kwanzaa
The next day, the house is crammed full of people, all of them exclaiming over gifts.
"This one's for Emmett."
I catch the parcel that Carl throws to me and pull off the shiny paper. Justin watches me unwrap a beautiful, brightly coloured blanket. "It's a Kente cloth," he says. "I know you don't celebrate Kwanzaa, but it made me think of you."
"Baby, it's fabulous." I lean over to kiss his cheek. "Thank you."
I glance at Drew, who's helping Carl hand out presents, and wink at him before looking back at Justin and asking, "What the fuck's Kwanzaa?
Words Are Cheap
Brian leans the against the counter near the stove, where I'm stirring the gravy for Deb. He watches Drew instead of looking at me when he says, "He could have told you anything and you would have fucked him."
"I fucked him," I say, just a little too loudly, "because I wanted to and because he loves me."
"Bullshit. He couldn't handle being queer and alone so he came crawling back to you, and you believed all his bullshit."
I turn to him. "Who I fuck is none of your business, Brian. Now fuck off and be nice. It's Christmas."
Pittsburgh, grey and gloomy (picture)
It takes me a few hours to work out why Brian's being such an asshole, even though it's something I would have seen instantly if he had said it to Michael instead.
It's because he cares. It's because Brian Kinney actually cares and about whether I get hurt or not. I look at him, smiling. He looks at me like I'm crazy and I start laughing. Call it a Christmas miracle - Brian Kinney gives a fuck.
I glance out the window and freeze. Here's another Christmas miracle. It's not grey outside any more. Everything's white and sparkling because it's snowing.
Fortune Cookies
"Here's what we're going to do," I say in between kisses. "I'm going to tear off all your clothes with my teeth, then you're going to fuck me until I can't take it any more. Understand?"
Drew and I are in his living room, surrounded by fortune cookies and boxes of leftover Chinese food. I'm straddling his lap and he's smiling. It's an easy smile, but I can see a hint of the predator that I know is in there and just needs to be coaxed out.
And if there's anyone who knows how to do that coaxing, it's me.
“It wouldn't be New Year's if I didn't have regrets." ~William Thomas
"I don't know how I stayed away from you for so long," Drew says. We're still on the sofa, my legs slung over his. "I never should have -"
I shut him up by kissing him. "I'm glad you did," I say. "Otherwise we wouldn't be here right now, and these days with you have been the best of my year." I kiss him again, then stand up, smacking his thigh hard. "Come on. We're going to get dressed in our most fabulous outfits, and then go to Babylon. The boys are meeting us there. It's time for a party, baby."
New Year’s Eve
"Ten... nine..."
I squeeze my way through the crowd until I reach the bar, where everyone is standing. Blake and Ted, Ben and Michael, Brian and Justin, and my Drewsie.
"Eight... seven... six..."
It's hot in here, especially since I've been dancing all night.
"Five... four..."
I look at Drew. His eyes are sparkling, even though he wouldn't let me put a little glitter around them.
"Three..."
I wrap my arms around him and kiss his cheek. "I love you."
"Two..."
"I love you, too."
"One!"
Babylon explodes in a burst of cheers, music, and glitter falling from the sky.
New Year’s Day
It's two in the morning when Drew and I start walking down Liberty Avenue, hand in hand. People are still celebrating. They're singing, dancing, kissing. It's catchy. I throw my arms around Drew's neck, laughing when I trip. "I think I've had one cosmo too many."
Apparently, he has, too, because he spins me around until my feet leave the floor, then kisses me hard. We're both laughing when we pull away and continue walking.
I look up at the stars, picking out the brightest one automatically. But I won't make a wish. I don't have anything to wish for.