“What are you doing Michael, counting down the days till Christmas?” “It’s Melanie’s ovulation chart” “And what a perfect place for it, above our bed.” I was pleased for him, becoming a father was something he’d never thought possible. He would be a good one, of that I had no doubt. He had so much love to give. I tried to push the thought that this was something I would never have from my mind. It wasn’t his fault. I needed to stop taking my frustrations out on him. He deserved better. But sometimes it was just too damn hard.