Power
Who. Young!Emma Frost From. Not UtR By. Krys Note. Continued from the last one. Warning: Emo~
Scott Summers was following Emma Frost sheepishly into an elevator. He'd been following her most of the day in hopes of being able to approach her and have a word. He hadn't gone to the funeral, hadn't really thought his presence there would help her much. He'd figured that her family would be there. And even though he knew Emma's relationship with her parents was strained, he imagined that she could at least take comfort in the arms of her sisters. Or Julian, who would have undoubtedly gone to the funeral, as well. So he'd waited outside the home, figuring he could take her aside after the service. But because she left early, practically running down the street, Scott had taken off after her without really giving thought as to what he'd do once he caught up. He had followed her home and after that, he'd followed her to the NYU dormitory. Her brother's dormitory. He wasn't quite sure how, but she'd caught him before she'd gone into the building. He hadn't bothered to make some weird excuse for being in the neighborhood. It had been strange, but Emma had said with certainty that she'd known he'd been following her half the afternoon. She'd told him to follow her inside the building. He obeyed.
There was music playing in the background, something light and quiet. Scott couldn't help but imagine an ominous chord in the notes. It was the way Emma was standing. Her back was too straight. She was staring ahead blankly. It was more than a little unnerving. He was afraid of breaking the spell and saying something, afraid of what might happen.
"I'm not going to break," she said suddenly. The elevator doors slid open and she exited. Scott followed closely behind. "You don't have to look at me like that. And you don't have to be so quiet. I'm going to be fine."
"Emma, you just lost your brother. You're not fine."
"No," she responded dully. "I suppose I'm not. But I will be."
She sounded so sure of herself. Scott wasn't sure how she could do it. He'd always known Emma to have an inhuman amount of confidence. He envied her for it, especially since he questioned himself every moment of every day.
"What are we doing here?"
"You were following me," Emma said matter-of-factly. "I figured it'd be more interesting for you to tag along than to pace outside."
He looked away. "What are you doing here?"
"I'm coming to collect some of my brother's things before my parents sift through everything. I'd hate for them to throw all of his belongings away."
"Oh."
"Yes." They stopped before a door. Emma had the key and let them in. "He had a room to himself. No one's going to disturb us."
Scott nodded, watching Emma silently. He saw the hesitation in her steps, noticed how she hung close to the door.
"You're looking at me like I'm going to break again."
"I don't think you're going to break," he said, unsure whether he was being completely honest.
"I won't," she insisted stubbornly. In order to prove herself, she took a step forward. The room was a bit of a mess, thoroughly lived in. There were clothes on the floor, papers strewn about. Christian's belongs were all just where he'd left them. "It's like..." Emma whispered. It was like he wasn't really dead. Like he'd be back soon to do a wash of the dirty clothes, like he'd return through the door at any moment, smiling as though his death had been some stupid mistake. She looked into a mirror, caught sight of her reflection and then stared at Scott through the glass. Christian wasn't coming back. It hadn't really sunk in yet. "It's so wrong." She shook her head.
Scott just listened.
"It isn't fair. It's awful of me, but I keep wishing it was someone else. One of my other siblings. My mother. My father. I don't think I'd miss any of them. Christian was... he was mine. He was my friend. He actually cared about me." Emma ran her hand along the dresser. Her fingertips danced along Christian's forgotten laptop. She fiddled with a lamp. She opened a drawer. She wondered how long ago her brother's fingers had been on these things. "I'm so angry with him," she continued. "He didn't ask me to help him. He didn't just force me to see what was wrong with him. He just let himself get worse and worse and worse. And I was stupid enough to miss every sign. I'm so selfish."
"You're not-"
"I am." The way she said it silenced him. It was the reservation in her voice. She'd already thought this through. Her mind was made. "I've been so busy trying to make it through this year. I should have visited him more. Called."
"Things at Xavier's-"
"Have been hell. That's no excuse. Now I've lost someone else."
There was that familiar uncomfortable silence. Scott let Emma have some time going through her brother's things. He turned his back when he heard a soft noise that sounded a lot like a sob. He thought of all the things he could say but everything sounded so terribly lame. He could apologize, he could tell her that it wouldn't always hurt so bad. He doubted that was what she needed or wanted to hear.
The soft sobs grew louder. Scott couldn't ignore them any longer. "Emma?" He walked up behind her and rested a hand on her back. She leaned into his touch.
"I need to flush this." She had little packets of white powder in her hands. She'd found them in the bottom of one of Christian's drawers.
"I'll take care-"
"No. Me."
"Alright." He watched as she put the drugs in her purse.
Emma swiped furiously at her face. The urge to throw something across the room came and went quickly. It wouldn't do any good. Nothing would make this situation any better. "You want to know something sad?" She asked suddenly, her voice quiet and thick with tears.
"Hm?"
"I think you're my best friend now." Her vision blurred again. "I can't talk to you at school because you're a mutant. We're... we're barely friends. We don't really know one another and I think you're..." She laughed miserably. She didn't think he was in love with Jean. She just knew. "I have Julian and I always will, but we have this... distance. And there's Betsy and all of the other girls who smile at me to my face, but wouldn't hesitate to take my place if the opportunity to do so rose. I can't even blame them. I did the same to Jean." She smiled bitterly. "I trust you more than I trust them. I can talk to you. And I think you care for me more than almost anyone else I know."
"We've always been friends, Emma." He rubbed his hand up and down her back. "We'll always be friends." There was an awkward pause. Scott was bad at talking feelings. "I do care about you. And I'll be here for you as long as you need me."
"Mm." She didn't sound quite as convinced as he did. In spite of this, she turned and wrapped her arms around his neck. A few minutes passed before she spoke again. "Do you need to go soon?"
"No."
"Can we just... stay here? Just for a little while?"
"Of course."
Emma felt exhausted in every possible way. She moved for the bed, kicking the covers away and resting on the mattress. Scott watched her there, saw how she curled up like a child and wrapped her arms around herself. He sighed quietly and then followed her awkwardly, wrapping his arms around her and taking her hands in his.
"I'm sorry about your brother," he whispered in her hair.
"Me too."
When she started to cry again, he just held her close. Emma turned in his arms and clung to him. Time moved slowly as she got the worst of the sobs out of her system. After she'd thoroughly exhausted herself of tears, they continued to rest on the bed in one another's arms.
The kiss was unexpected. She made the first move, of course. Scott had been quick to pull away. This wasn't the place, he reminded her. It wasn't right. It'd be like he was taking advantage of her. He was about to mention Julian when Emma stopped him by bringing her fingers to his lips. She told him she knew what she was doing. She promised him it was alright. It happened in a blur. Somehow she was kissing him again and soon he was kissing her back. There were hands on his body, he tasted her skin on his lips. For a moment, Scott allowed himself to not worry about consequences. For once, Emma took what she'd always wanted.
When it was over, they fell back onto her dead brother's bed and silently dozed. The air was surprisingly free of tension. Emma felt at peace. She knew it wouldn't last.
It was dark when Emma turned over and opened her eyes. There was one blissful moment where she forgot where she was and why she was there. There was only Scott beside her, his breathing in her ear and arms wrapped around her. And then the illusion cracked as she caught sight of Christian's dresser. Her eyes welled up with tears as she turned away from his things. Emma watched Scott while he slept. Her fingertips caressed his cheek, his nose, his forehead. Part of her wished he wouldn't wake so they could remain frozen in this moment forever.
"Emma." Scott mumbled as his eyelids fluttered. He felt much too naked. His cheeks turned a deep shade of red.
"Relax," Emma said. Her hand ran down the side of his face, stopping on his shoulder.
"I'm..." he slowly stumbled over his words. His thoughts were so guilty, Emma could feel them without even trying to read his mind. "I should-"
"Stop. Please." She leaned in and kissed him. This seemed to placate him a bit. "Just... shh." Her words were soft. Emma rested her forehead against Scott's and did something she had always forbid herself to do before; she peeked into his mind. There was guilt there, of course. Scott was already thinking about what he'd say to Julian, how he'd act around Jean. He thought himself wicked for having taken advantage of Emma while she was in pain. But buried underneath all of this was satisfaction. He'd wanted Emma for longer than Emma had even realized. He wanted her still, in spite of how wrong it was. Emma swallowed. "I knew you were following me."
"What?" Scott was confused.
"I knew you were following me. I didn't notice right away because I was distraught, but I felt you before I reached home."
"I wanted to tell you. I've always been afraid someone," Jean, "would read it in your mind. I know you wouldn't give me away purposely."
"I wouldn't."
You're wondering why I'm telling you now. She switched suddenly to psychic discussion. It was easier. And it would answer any questions he had as to what she could do. It's because I wanted to be honest with you for once. I love you, you know. I have Julian. But it's different with you. And I don't expect you to feel the same way. I don't expect anything from you. I just needed to tell you this, just once. Before things change.
Before what? Even telepathically, there was an alarming note in her voice. Scott could feel something bad was coming.
Things are just going to be different. Because I'm different now. She sighed. And I wanted to bare my soul for a few seconds before taking it away.
He opened his mouth to speak, but she stopped him with her fingertips.
I'm going to take these memories away from you. To your knowledge, you'll never have slept with me and you won't remember this.
"Don't do this." He was almost pleading.
"I'm sorry."
"Emma, I can help you. We have-"
"Your X-Men. I know." She smiled an empty smile. "Oh Scott, not everyone can be saved. And there are some of us that don't want to be saved. I'm not a good person. I'm not some freedom fighter. You'll see this eventually. You'll learn the hard way." She kissed him. "You're so good, you know. You're a better person than the rest of us. You believe that things can be better. I hope you never stop." She kissed him again as she started to sedate him. "I'm so sorry."
"Emma, stop. We can talk about thi-"
You need to go home now, Scott. When you get there, you'll forget the last two hours. He was fighting her, but Emma had trained herself. He was no match for her powers. Her hand slid down his arm, a soothing gesture.
His eyes glazed over then and he disentangled himself from Emma. Scott dressed quickly and silently. Emma watched him go, setting her jaw and forcing herself to breathe. The door clicked behind him.