EUROVISION SONG CONTEST, 2011 Who: EUROVISION!!!! When: 9pm Europe Time, 14th May 2011 Where: EUROVISION!!!! (or, Ben's flat :D) What: EUROVISION!!!! Rating/Warning: EUROVISION!!!!
Eurovision Song Contest Drinking Game A brief guide to TV drinking games
Television drinking games are celebrations of cliche. The idea is to have a small drink every time a cliche is shown, and a large drink every time a cliche is broken. The original TV drinking game was allegedly the Dallas drinking game, where you had to match any drink that any character was shown having. Dangerous stuff.
In this drinking game, there are three sizes of drink; in ascending order: sip, slurp and chug. Please scale these to the drink you're having. For beer, they would be about a swig, a full mouthful, and three gulps respectively. For spirits, they would be about a quarter, a half and a whole shot glass respectively.
Have fun, but know your limits!
THE GAME
Unless stated otherwise, all events listed below deserve one sip. Presenters
There are always two presenters on screen, a Host and a Hostess. Each broadcaster usually provides an additional Commentator to provide voice-over translations, background information and witty sarcasm.
The Commentator makes a satirical comment that no-one laughs at The Host and Hostess try and fail to be funny The Host and Hostess sing The Host and Hostess speak in rhyme The Host and Hostess gaze into each others eyes The Host and Hostess kiss: chug The Hostess changes her dress The Host changes his outfit: slurp Presenters having a time-wasting conversation that no-one can follow, understand or care less about
Performances — general points
Song has a tacky or nonsensical title (shoo-wop etc.) Politically-related metaphor (e.g. breaking out of chains, shedding a black cloak to reveal white clothes) Lyrics are literally demonstrated in the performance Act steals ideas from Eurovision acts from previous years Use of props (e.g. candles, ribbons, dummies, mobile phones) Use of pyrotechnics or lasers; if they go wrong: chug Interaction with the audience; if the audience is unusually passive: slurp Any time the song goes up a key France conducts a musical experiment France sings in English: chug A country from Former Yugoslavia has a depressing song Germany's song mentions peace, harmony or love (one sip each) A country borrows any performer from another country if the borrowed performer is Irish: slurp if the country doing the borrowing is Ireland: chug
For future reference (see Judging below), make a note of any:
predictions that the Commentator makes about the song acts where the attractiveness of the performer(s) is the only thing going for it
Appearance of performers
Retro/out-of-date clothing and hairstyles Bad dress-sense; if utterly offensive: slurp Experimental make-up Indecently revealing or figure-hugging costumes: slurp Overt displays of cleavage Codpiece(s): chug Faked blond hair (East European countries only) Hat(s); if horned: chug Sunglasses Moustache(s); if female with moustache: chug Main singer is grossly overweight Malta: male singer does not have a hairy chest: slurp Mid-performance costume change
Singers and back-up vocalists
Sing in a language other than their native tongue, English or French Perform through the medium of rap: slurp Wink at camera Drop to their knees Flick their hair; if they flick non-existent hair: chug Make a victory/peace ‘V’ sign Wave their arms above their heads whilst singing Punch the air Put excessive emotion into their singing Sing out of tune Emit high and loud obnoxious noises Play or mime along with musicians during instrumentals; if they play badly: slurp Resemble someone you know Resemble another famous person if that person is present in the audience: slurp if the camera zooms in and lingers on that person: chug Flirt with the camera after finishing
Dancers and musicians
Play an ‘ethnic’ instrument (includes panpipes) Play piano while standing ‘Ethnic’ dancing Hip-hop style dancing: slurp Dancing that detracts from the performance Dancing that surpasses belief and credibility Pretend fighting: if martial arts, chug Contortionist: chug
Television coverage and venue
Transmission goes a bit wonky Preview video is completely pointless Preview video is full of gormless smiles National symbols are seen somewhere Helicopter shots Sped up or slowed down film Prolonged video mixes Colour replacement effects Any special effect better than the songs
Judging
Bad time delays during video/audio link Host/Hostess overlap with voter during video/audio link because of the bad delay Host/Hostess have to hurry a voter for wasting time with pointless wittering The Commentator's predictions come true (one sip each) The Commentator is genuinely surprised by a decision Bad acts receive high (8+) points due to attractiveness of lead singer The Commentator makes a snide comment about regional voting (see below for the usual offenders). Bonus sips for any of the following phrases: block voting mutual voting society still getting used to democracy vote for your neighbour contest There's a discussion why Israel is involved Reference made to Norway having null points Norway gives points to Sweden but Sweden does not give any to Norway Norway does not give Sweden any points at all: chug Cyprus gives Greece 12 points or vice versa France does not give United Kingdom any points Monaco gives France 12 points Germany gives any points at all to Austria: chug Greece gives any points at all to Turkey: chug United Kingdom gives Ireland 12 points or vice versa United Kingdom comes second or last Ireland win yet again Acts are on their mobile phone to their family during voting If the winning country declines to hold the event for any or all of the following: chug Financial reasons Political reasons Personal reasons Moral reasons
Optional extras
Begin each act with a shot of a drink native to that country Choose a country to support and if it receives 1 to 7 points on any given vote: sip if it receives 8, 10 or 12 points: slurp if it wins: chug throughout the reprise
Participants
25 countries will compete in the final: France, Germany, Spain and the United Kingdom; the host country; and ten countries from each of the semi-finals, held on the Tuesday and Thursday before the final.
As Germany won the 2010 competition, the fifth automatic place should go to the next highest scoring country from 2010, Turkey.
For more details, try Wikipedia. Scores from 2010
Here are the positions and scores of the finalists in the 2010 contest.
Here are some of the alleged ‘mutual voting societies’ to look out for at the Contest.
British Isles: Ireland, Malta (ish), United Kingdom. Western Mediterranean: Andorra, Morocco, Portugal, Spain. Scandanavian area: Denmark, Finland, Norway, Sweden, Iceland. Baltics: Estonia, Latvia, Lithuania. Former Soviet Union: Armenia, Azerbaijan, Belarus, Georgia, Moldova, Russia, Ukraine (and Kazakhstan, Kyrgyzstan, Turkmenistan, Uzbekistan). Balkans: Albania, Bulgaria, Greece, Moldova (ish), Romania (ish), Turkey, and the former Yugoslav states: Bosnia and Herzegovina, Croatia, FYR Macedonia, Montenegro, Serbia, Slovenia.
OOC: I'm afraid I won't be around until tomorrow since I'm hosting a party just like Ben is. However! This is something we can always carry on with after the event. Link to Eurovision site is on Ben's last post. :D