Thing One: Toddler is tired of her dad and needs new people to annoy entertain her. Is anyone willing to take a three and a half year old off my hands for a few hours here and there? The more the merrier, she's used to having about a dozen or so people at her beck and call. (No, really, I'd call them, and they'd drop everything to watch her. It was scary.)
Thing One, part two: I'm paranoid, expect the Spanish Inquisition AND the Third Degree.
Thing Two: Anyone up for a 'Who the Hell Are We?' party?