Jamie Reese (nosurpriseshere) wrote in priceofpeace, @ 2012-04-12 23:31:00 |
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Current mood: | contemplative |
Who: Jamie Reese
What: The eldest Reese reflects in a moment of what he would call... distraction
Where: In and around citizen housing
When: Friday, mid morning.
Rating: Low
Status: Solo
Idle contemplation, an unusual state for the otherwise focused Reese. The eldest by five years with what felt like the world on his shoulders, expectations and responsibility ever present. One could say that he couldn't have been destined for anything other than the role he'd been given and they wouldn't be wrong. What Bridget and Calleigh didn't lack for in personality Jamie had in strict measure. It was almost as though he'd been born into the world with a need for control and as such he was far more reserved. That said given the recent events Jamie was finding himself prone to bouts of... distraction. So much so that when he found himself in the path of a family with two girls that were almost the spitting image of his two younger sisters he found his stride slowing and finally halting.
People would often remark how in the last throes of your life everything you'd ever experienced would flash before your eyes, but Jamie had laughed this off because in order to believe that you needed to have died and when was the last time the dead spoke? It was as he watched the young girls that he slowly came to appreciate the sentiment given that the exchange of looks between the sisters tugged at long forgotten memories that came with equal parts joy and sadness. So much so that Jamie forcibly looked away until all he could see before him was a string of housing that in no way had any connections to his past.
It was only as the young girls past him that he allowed himself one final look, giving a small smile that barely reached the depths of his eyes before it was passed from present moment into a memory that would soon be discarded in favour of gathering pieces and forming a whole picture once again. Weakness would always be in Jamie's opinion dangerous territory, especially with the world the way that it was. Upon further reflection Jamie might conclude that it was natural for him to not be on form given Bridget's disappearance and the somewhat strained relationship between himself and Calleigh, but there was such a thing as too much self reflection and introspection. It often meant he picked things apart until they no longer made sense and somehow he was always at fault, the one to blame and the man who hadn't done enough. It was irrational but Jamie had never been all that rational when it came to himself and the bar that he set, it was always too high and he could never reach it.
Hands raked through strands of dark hair until tips rounded on the very base of his neck where they idly massaged away what felt like an approaching storm in the form of a headache. It was only when the grip tightened that Jamie felt finally at peace and mentally able once again. He needed to have a clear head and the same focus he applied to every other day of his life because he couldn't allow himself these trips down memory lane, especially when all they did was serve to torture him. The past was the past and yet he couldn't let go of the nagging feeling that he should have said something at the time when he suspected it, but what good would that have done? He hadn't known for certain and without certainty there was no such thing as truth.
All he could do right now was do his job and keep an eye on Calleigh, to try and prevent her vanishing into the ether in the same way Bridget had. Hopefully it would be enough, but if he knew Calleigh the way that he thought he did there was nothing that could stop her from finding Bridget. If Bridget could be found. No... Jamie stopped his train of thought right there and then, reassuring himself that if something bad had happened then he would know. He may not have been bonded to her in the same way Calleigh was, but he was her brother, he would know. He just would, there was no debating that.
With head firmly placed back on, Jamie stepped away from the pull of the past and turned to march headfirst into the present.