Mum | Mels
I just wish I could shut it all off, and not have to think about any of it again. I should have wished my memories gone when I had the chance, just to have a break from it all. I would have preferred scared and confused rather than this constantly.
I think she's made it very clear what she and the Doctor are, and he's made it even clearer, if that is possible. I told him... I have been exceedingly careful about things around her. I don't ask for his time or attention-and thus I do not get it, I don't ask him to pretend even to like me. But the fact of the matter is, I married our Doctor, that makes me his wife, no matter which version I'm standing in front of, just as it would make his OTHER wives HIS wife no matter which version. Do they think if by some strange twist of fate that his wife from Gallifrey showed up, I wouldn't understand and do my best to be gracious and kind? Or that if some future wife came around, I wouldn't do the same? The fact that she can't deal with me, being myself, is utterly ridiculous and beyond maddening. And I'm sure I irritated the Doctor by saying if she couldn't deal with it, perhaps she wasn't mature enough to handle a relationship with him at all.
I'm just... exhausted of all of this. Have I not cried enough over the Doctor in my lifetime?