Who: Demelza and Justin When: Monday evening Where: The Lighthouse What: Baggage talks Status/Rating: Incomplete, Mild
Demelza sighed and closed her journal on her lap after reading her last message from Justin. It wasn’t that she had been avoiding him specifically, it was more she was trying to avoid all human contact while she sorted out how she felt. The baggage had raised a number of questions in her mind, and had unleashed a large range of emotions she wasn’t sure how to deal with quite yet. So rather than dealing with it healthily, Demelza had fallen back into old habits and had largely just shut down. The only difference between this and previous times she had done this, was this time she had not used alcohol to do it. Instead this time she just locked herself away from the outside world, only emerging to work or find somewhere quiet to obsessively re-review the contents of the album. During this time, even eating had also taken a back seat, with her only managing small bites of fruit here and there since Friday night.
One of the main things that had rattled her, was she had always been a firm believer in there being no fate, that anyone can change their future at any point. So, to receive a window into her future, one that showed her such a clear and definitive path, had filled her with a lot of complex emotions. It wasn’t that she was disappointed with the future laid out for her in the album, far from it, as every picture she saw of herself she seemed genuinely happy and at peace. She just felt rattled by the thought of her having no control in the situation, not that she would want to change it. Then when this was added to news of her having a daughter, it was enough to send her brain into hyperdrive. How was she going to explain to people that part of the reason she was so depressed, was down to the fact that she was desperately missing a child she had never met? Even to her own ears, the very notion seemed crazy, but regardless it was how she felt.
Closing her eyes, she let the gentle breeze wash over her for a moment, trying to calm her mind. It was bad enough trying to rationalise what the diary said to herself, yet in a few moments when Justin arrived, she would have to explain it all to him.