If Justin had known that kissing Nicky had been the thing to help, to anchor him, he would've kept at it. But the way things were, with Nicky borderline unresponsive, he felt himself besieged by a crushing wait of guilt. Like he might just as well have pushed the boy down into the bed and raped him.
It lessened, when Nicky asked him to stay. It lessened considerably, and Justin sighed relief. But it didn't go away completely. He rocked Nicky slowly from side to side. "How long shall I stay?"