Who: Ginny Weasley and Open What: Time to visit a brother lost Where: The Graveyard When: Saturday afternoon Rating: tbd Status: Incomplete/Open
She'd been putting it off, really. It was one of the things about coming back here that had made her feel distinctly uncomfortable, like she didn't quite fit into her skin.
She was always aware of it. Could feel the pull of it from wherever she was. It didn't take her long to realise that, unconsciously, wherever she was in the castle, she had her back turned to it. But after the first week of classes, and Quidditch trials, she really had no more excuses. It wasn't something that she was going to be able to put off forever.
He was there. He always would be. But it was hard to have someone that you loved love so completely be so close to you and so utterly out of reach.
It was the first time she'd been here. The second looked up long enough to see the Phoenix, she felt tears burn the back of her eyes. It was a kind of embarrassment she felt with coming here, like she was being watched. She was nervous, all of the memories of Fred passing behind her eyes with each step.
It took her a while to find his grave, wandering between the rows. When she did, she felt frozen and number, the blood draining from her face. Slowly, she lowered herself to the ground in front of it, legs crossed, contemplating the small details of his grave; the direction the new grass was growing in, the small bug crawling over a blade of grass. She felt like she could drown in a sea of green and death, it was claustrophobic and overwhelming.
The flat, green of the grass lay before her, and she squeezed her eyes shut, summoning his smiling face. "We had Quidditch trials, you know," she started, barely a whisper. And she was talking, just blurting out everything as if he was there (and not interrupting, as per usual). "I'm captain now, so there was ... there's something going on with him that I'm not sure about. It's so hard to be in love with someone and then have that given back to you -- not returned, but just given back. He knows how much he's ... people in this school are just so broken and ruined. Neville, I'm especially worried about him. There's just so much that's happened and I don't know if coming back to school this soon was a good idea for a lot of people. But it's ... miss you. So much." Her voice broke on her last words, and she dropped her head, sniffing. "I always thought that I had too many brothers, but I hate that I've lost one."
Ginny felt as though she'd been grappling for some kind of reality so much lately, that she'd forgotten what it was to just remember. Other people needed helping, there were so many people, her friends, who were worse off than she was. They were her priority. Yes, she'd lost someone, but in comparison to a lot of others, she still had so much. That was what she had to remember.