Who: Megan and Stan What: A Confession and The End When: After Stan gets the owl from Meg Where: "Their" old room Rating: Stan has a potty mouth Complete
Stan rushed out of Slytherin, his heart in his throat. He wasn't sure what was wrong, but something was. Megan had been so happy lately, and now... this, whatever "this"was.
He slipped into the hallway behind the suit of armor and resisted running only because he didn't want to make that much noise and get them both caught. He didn't even bother knocking first when he got to their room.
Megan was already there, and her face was the picture of misery.
"Meg?" he said, scared shitless and already moving toward her. "What happened?"
Megan wasn't happy. She felt like the worst girlfriend and the worst friend and the worst person in the world. Nicky was upset with her and now Stan was going to hate her. Really hate her.
Looking up when Stan walked in, Megan nearly fell apart. He looked so worried about her. So concerned. He really did love her and she was a bitch for doing this.
"I.. Hi. I have to.. I don't want to. I mean. I never meant to. And you are so. I..." Megan couldn't find the right words and her heart was pounding in her chest.
Confused, Stan reached for Megan. They were usually better with hands than words, especially him. Whatever it was, a hug could only help, right?
Even if she knew she shouldn't hug him, Meg stepped into Stan's arms and hid her face in his shirt. Knowing that in a matter of moments Stan was going to hate her made this so much worse.
"I don't want you to hate me," she whispered.
Hate her? Was she crazy? Stan wrapped his arms around her, enjoying her warmth, even as he worried what this was all about. "Meg, I'm not going to hate you. Whatever it was, it can't be that bad. I know you, and it can't be anything awful."
What could it be about? Maybe she told Gwenog something she shouldn’t have? Or did someone do something to her? He thought of Astoria, lying half-broken in the fog and shivered.
"Yes you will," she said miserably. "I hate myself. You will too." Megan pulled back from Stan and walked backwards.
She was the reason he was here. Because of her, his life was ruined. And now she was going to break his heart on top of it.
"I love you. I do. But..." Okay. Time to get it out. "I met someone and I really like him and he makes me happy and I... I don't know if I'm happy with you anymore."
Her words weren't making sense. Stan felt like the ocean was making noise in his ears. "What?" She met...? "What" She wasn't happy...? She met...?
Stan ran a hand through his hair and took a half step back. "Meg, I- what the hell are you talking about?"
Megan looked down at her feet. She was a horrible person. "Nicky," she said. Megan wouldn't hide who she liked. She wouldn't lie to Stan. "I like him. A lot. And you and I... What happened before. I don't know if I can ever really forget it." Megan wasn't trying to make excuses, she was just trying to be honest.
Nicky? Nicky? Who the fuck was Nicky?
"What happened be- You mean when you left before I could- before I could explain and then- and then you let me think you wanted me out of your life forever? Th- that before?" He was hot in the face and his hands felt cold. This weren't fair. This weren't happening.
Megan looked out a window and sighed. Stan had every reason to be angry with her. She didn't want to argue with him.
"I'm sorry," she said and reached up to tuck her hair behind her ear. "I didn't mean to hurt anyone."
She was sorry? "If you're sorry, then why are you doing it?" Was that his voice? He sounded like he'd swallowed sand.
"And who the fuck is Nicky?"
Megan winced and brought her arms around herself and tried to keep herself calm. She didn't like being sworn at, but she knew she deserved it.
"Because I have to, Stan. I can't pretend I don't like him. And he's in Hufflepuff with me."
This was awful. She was just pulling away from him more and more. She was across the room. She wouldn't look at him. And he still had no idea what happened.
She liked this guy? She liked "Nicky"? Didn't she love Stan?
"Meg, please," he insisted. "I don't get this! What did I do?"
What did he do? He had lied to her first. And he had kissed someone else first. He wasn't innocent. He had hurt her. But Megan couldn't bring herself to point those things out.
"You didn't do anything," she said quietly. "Maybe we are just too different," she said.
His lip hurt. He realized he'd been biting it. He wiped at it absently. "I... Meg? I thought you loved me?"
He'd come here for her. He had told her everything about the time he wanted to forget. He was going to become a hero so he could deserve her.
He wanted that hut on the beach with her.
This wasn't how it was supposed to happen.
"I do," she said. "I do, Stan. But... are you sure it's enough?" Megan was so close to changing her mind. Not because she didn't like Nicky, but because she didn't want to hurt Stan.
"If it was really enough... Neither of us would have kissed other people."
Stan was about start the same old argument: They had broken up, or he'd thought they had! The only reason-
Neither of us would have...
The cold was all over now. "You don't just fancy this bloke then," Stan said, slowly, and a bit too calmly. "You've gone and snogged him?" The warmth returned a bit at a time, and with it, anger. "What, you weren't getting enough from me, so you went to him?" His face scrunched up. Oh Merlin, no, he was not going to start crying in front of her. "Did it stop at snogging, Meg?"
How dare he? She hadn't been the first person to do something wrong. And at least she had told him who she had been with.
"Stop it, Stan. Don't pretend that this is all my fault."
He balled his fists and scrunched his face harder. How dare she, the cheating bint!
"Why not?" He was getting louder and he didn't care. "Who left who? Who is leaving who? I'm not the one who gave up!"
Megan shrank back as Stan's voice went up. She didn't want to be yelled at. She didn't want him to hate her even though he had every reason too. "I tried. I tried, Stan, but it's different. After our fight it was different."
Shoulders slumping, he stepped even further back. He did not want to be here; it hurt.
"I thought we were fixing it," he said, weakly. He was totally losing the battle with tears, and he looked away in the hopes that she wouldn't be able to see.
"Is it... you know... because of the Death Eater thing?"
Seeing his watery eyes and hearing the tears in his voice, Meg felt herself start to cry. She was a horrible, horrible person. The worst person in the world.
Biting her lip, Megan didn't know how to answer that. It had been part of it. "Not... Entirely."
Salazar's stones this was just bad all around. He could hear her crying too, and as angry as he was, he really hated that he was making her cry.
Only- no- he wasn't the one who was making her! All he'd ever done...
"So it's about that kiss, then. You never did forgive me?" He knew he sounded bitter, but he wasn't at all sorry. He never had been sorry for that kiss, and if Megan couldn't get over it... well screw her anyway!
"No, it isn't just about the stupid kiss!!" Megan snapped, unable to help herself. "You lied to me! And hurt me! And I tried to forgive you! I tried, but.. but I couldn't. I can't. It changed and you know it changed. Stop acting like we were perfect!"
At the accusation, he finally turned. She looked awful, but he figured they both did. "I never lied to you, Megan Jones!" he all but yelled.
They hadn't been perfect- sometimes it had been an awful lot of work- but he thought that was how love worked. Like he knew so much. Maybe he was wrong. Maybe he was wrong about a lot of things.
"Not telling someone something is the same thing!" Megan felt herself getting louder. Stan was making her feel a million times worse than she already was.
Megan took a step towards the door. "I'm sorry. I am. I never meant to get you stuck here. I never meant for this to happen, but he made me happy. And you try too hard and he doesn't have to try. AND at least I admitted who I am interested in. You cared more about protecting your friend than being honest with me."
She was leaving. She was leaving and the next time he saw her, she would be with Nicky and...
Stan stepped up quickly, moving into her space, taking her arm. She'd thrown so many accusations at him that he didn't know what to answer, and so he found himself just standing here, mute and staring.
Megan looked up at Stan. She didn't know what to say. She didn't want to be hurting him. But he had said before he wished he had never come to the castle.
"I need to go, Stan," she whispered.
He didn't want her to go. That would make it all real. That would make it over. He gripped her arm a little tighter, still unable to think of anything he could say that would change this. "I love you," he finally managed, because wasn't that sort of the point?
Megan reached up and pulled Stan's hand from her arm. She loved him too. She really did. But it wasn't enough. She wanted to be happy. She wanted Stan to be happy too.
"I'm sorry," she said.
Feeling lost, Stan let his leave this time. He couldn't make her stay.
As the door shut behind her, Stan stood there for a long time.
Eventually, he wandered over to the window. He looked at his own stupid reflection. He guessed Nicky was better looking.
Then he kicked the wall, hard, bruising his heel and not caring. Who the fuck was this Nicky guy? Wiping his face, Stan stomped out of the room, determined to find out.