Anthony sighed again. He just had to keep telling himself that he needed to do this, Sorin was right. They wouldn't be able to go on if he didn't share what he had done. There would be no trust and that just wasn't fair or right on either of them. He just.. he had to suck it up and tell him. Hopefully he would be able to do that without breaking down. He hadn't been able to thus far though. But, Sorin meant to much to just lose him like that. And, Sorin was making it clear that if Anthony didn't tell, Sorin would leave and it would be over. And yes, chances were, Anthony would find someone else, but they wouldn't be Sorin. And just the thought of that hurt him.
"I don't know if I'd be able to live without you anymore. I love you too much, want to spend forever with you." He shook his head and squeezed his eyes shut tight again. When he opened them back up, he told Sorin what happened.
"All I remember, I was walking to dinner. And then I was back in the Ravenclaw Dorms. I don't remember anything in between that time. I don't know why, but I just felt... wonderful. I was empty of everything. And then I just knew that I needed to hurt someone. Ruin and corrupt them. And Jamie.. he's just the most.. sweet and innocent boy I know. And it was him, it had to be him. I knew it." Anthony took another deep and shakey breath, trying to keep his voice calm and level. He was failing, though. He was slowly becoming a wreck again and he hadn't even gotten to the meat of the story yet.
Anthony pushed himself to continue though. He had to. "I went into his room and I kissed him and while I was doing that, I broke all the fingers on his hand, one by one. And I swallowed his screams." He shivered as he remembered how much he had enjoyed it, the sound of the bones cracking in his. "I used magic to break his other hand, ground the bone into dust. I bound him, silenced and locked the room, broke a dish and slashed open his chest. He was bleeding so much. And.. I liked it. I liked every minute of what I did to him." There were tears sliding down his cheeks now, and he couldn't make eye contact with Sorin. Sorin would hate him. But now he was started, and he just couldn't stop himself.
"I tried to pry my fingers into his chest so I could break his ribs with my bare fingers. When it didn't work, I broke them anyway with my fist. I remember his screams, and all his blood. I tried to drink his blood! And I was so, so turned on. I told him no one loved him, no one wanted to help him." Anthony let out a sob then. Sorin was going to hate him! "And I crucio'd him." And still, that wasn't even the worst of it.
"I broke his pelvis, his hips, both legs.. everything down to his ankles. Every bone. And then I raped him." He didn't pause before he said it. This last bit, breaking all of his lower bones and then raping him, that was the part that disgusted Anthony the most, the part he was the most ashamed of. "I didn't prepare him at all and just.." He was crying for real now, tears streaming down his face, whole body shaking. He wanted to curl up and die. And he hated Sorin for making him relive all of that again. As he said it all, he could see it, replaying itself in his mind. He moved away from Sorin, further down the bed. He was so dirty.