Wayne Hopkins (pl_wayne) wrote in plagued_rpg, @ 2010-01-05 11:25:00 |
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Entry tags: | 1999 january, sally-ann perks, wayne hopkins |
Who: Sally and Wayne
When: Tuesday Afternoon
Where: Hospital Wing
What: Wayne comes to see Sally finally.
Rating: PG13
Status: COMPLETE
Wayne had dreaded this moment. He stood outside the doors to the infirmary and shuffled his feet back and forth. People were all saying that their dreams were really happening and that whatever you did or said in your dream was felt and heard by the person you did it to. And that meant that Wayne really had been awful and hurtful to Sally. He didn't know how to live with himself. The overwhelming sense of shame took over and Wayne stayed in his room away from everyone. He had hurt Sally. His best friend. And the things he said to her were awful. More than awful. They were hateful.
But he had to know that she was physically okay. It took him a long time to build up the courage to see her and when he finally did, Wayne didn't know how she was going to react. She might not ever want to speak to him again. He could lose his best friend because of a dream they had. Finally, Wayne walked into the hospital wing and over to her bed. His voice cracked when he spoke and Wayne looked as though he was ready to run at any moment. "Sal. I-- I didn't mean to."
Sally had been looking out her window, thinking about how much she'd like to leave. Yes, she had chosen to stay there longer than she had to, but now all she could think about was going to her room on the seventh floor. Story and her had made plans and it sounded like the other girl really needed her. Sally let out a sigh softly as she heard the doors open. She had stopped looking at them when they opened, she knew it wouldn't be Wayne. He hadn't come by now, so obviously he didn't care.
At his voice she jumped. She hadn't been expecting it. "It sounded like it."
Should he sit? Wayne didn't know if he should sit down or not. So he stood awkwardly next to her bed, hand rubbing the back of his head. "But.." What was he supposed to say to that? He had meant it in the dream. He had been so angry with her. There was no denying that. "You know I don't.. you know I don't hate you. I don't." Wayne frowned. He hated seeing Sally like this. She didn't even smile. He was the reason she'd stop smiling, wasn't he?
"I wouldn't hurt you."
Sally sighed again. "Sit down. You're making my neck hurt." She hadn't said it with a smile, or anything. She wanted to talk to him, but now that he was here she couldn't. She couldn't see him as anything but the person who had beat her.
"You might not hate me, but you meant everything you said. I could tell." She shook her head and looked down at her hands. She didn't like this. How was she supposed to trust him again?
Normally Wayne would have sat down on the bed next to her, but now? He didn't want to touch her. And he didn't think she'd want him to come anywhere near her. So he summoned a crappy metal chair and sat down on the edge of it. "But it was a dream, Sally. I don't know why I said those things." Wayne would have never admitted anything like that if they had been awake. He knew it would've hurt Sally's feelings and he did everything he could to spare her feelings.
"Please," he nearly begged. "Please don't hate me."
Sally shot him a look, "I know it was a dream, but that doesn't change the fact that you meant what you said. That I've been lying to you?" Sally shook her head. Out of everything that part was what was sticking with her. She'd never lied to Wayne.
Sally couldn't help but look at him again. "I can't hate you. I love you, Waynie." Sally sighed and muttered, "Whether you believe that or not."
Wayne knew the best thing to do would be to just shut up and apologize for what he had said. But it was almost as though the dream flipped some sort of switch in the back of his head that enabled him to say everything he never would have.
How was he supposed to show her how things looked from his side? She'd never understand. Sally would always tell him that she didn't mean it like that or that she did care about him and hadn't mean to hurt him. But none of that changed the fact that he had been hurt and he had felt lied to. So now the only question that remain was whether he was going to let it go or try to get her to understand.
"I know you didn't lie to me." Apparently he'd chosen to let it go. Sally needed to be happy again and there was no point in upsetting her over his feelings. "I know you didn't."
Sally groaned. She was tired of this. She wanted her Wayne back. The one that would satiate her curiosity, and tell her whatever he was thinking, even if it hurt. At least she would know. "Dammit, Wayne. Talk to me for once. I'm never going to be able to trust you again if I have to second guess everything I do cause I might be lying to you, or hurting you in some way? I need to know, so can you just...Tell me?"
Sally sighed before continuing, "I don't want to fight, ok? I just want to talk, like we used to." Sally had so many memories of when she would stay at his house and they would Tay up talking for hours on their bunk beds. She wanted that back.
"You need to do whatever makes you happy and not worry about how I might feel," Wayne said. Things weren't going to be like they use to be. They were growing up. And as much as Wayne hated it he knew that friendships changed as people got older. "Look, Sal, I might not like some of the things you do, but I still love you." And he did. Wayne knew he loved Sally in ways he'd never be able to tell her. He loved her and wanted her for his own, but that wasn't going to happen ever. She would never see him that way and he would never make her aware of his feelings. It would only hurt her to know he was hurting. What was the point in that?
Sally sighed again, she knew things would change, but they weren't supposed to. Her and Wayne were supposed to stay exactly the same. "You know i can't do that. I always think about you and now...all I'm going to think about is hurting you." Sally's hands were shaking and she could feel her eyes welling up. She couldn't stand that she was hurting Wayne, and the fact that she didn't know how to make it better was just upsetting her more.
He hated seeing her cry. He really did. Wayne felt so hopeless and unsure of what to do. He didn't want to touch her. Wayne was certain she'd pull away and he didn't want to know how that would feel. "You don't hurt me," he said. "I know you'd never do anything to intentionally hurt me."
Sally shook her head, "I wouldn't. Never." Sally sighed again. She was so tired now, and she just wanted to sleep. "Waynie, will you come here?" Sally scooted over and made room for him. The dream was forgotten for now, she just wanted her best friend.
She had to be kidding. Wayne looked over at Sally all tucked into a hospital and miserable looking and he knew he'd never say no to her. But after that dream had shown him how he felt, Wayne wondered if he'd ever be able to stop thinking about it.
Sitting down on the edge of the bed, Wayne very carefully wrapped an arm around Sally. "I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you. Please believe me."
Sally curled onto Wayne, letting her head rest on his shoulder. It was a very familiar position for them. She nodded awkwardly, saying, "I know you didn't. I...I placed you in that situation. I'm sorry."
Sally sighed comfortably. She couldn't say she trusted him not to do it. That bothered her a lot. It was just a dream, after all, but she couldn't bring herself to say it yet. Instead she just made herself comfortable, pushing away her thoughts, as always.