Eirwen Frost (farfromit) wrote in plagued_logs, @ 2015-09-26 23:39:00 |
|
|||
Entry tags: | 1998 september, ava summers, harry potter |
Who: Ava & Harry
What: Ava is having a bad depression night despite having an interesting morning.
Where: Top of the Astronomy tower
When: Saturday night, WAY too close to curfew
Rating: R, trigger warnings for suicidal thoughts and potential discussion.
Fun OOC note: Autocorrect tries to change "wingardium leviosa" into "wingding levitation." Thought you'd like to know.
Ava could not sleep. She was supposed to be sleeping but she couldn't. And she hadn't been able to sleep this morning which had led her out to the quidditch pitch and hanging out with Ron for a little bit but... not even that could lighten her mood. People were hurt again though it seemed to be their own fault but it didn't matter. They were hurt. And she had fucked herself over making that post but at least that cat was gone and her shoes were clean. That was the only good thing that had happened - her shoes being clean. Even the blood stains were gone.
But because she couldn't sleep, she had gone walking and the same thing that happened every time that happened when she walked happened. She wound up somewhere she didn't expect to be. The top of the Astronomy tower was a bad place to be. Her spiral notebook was laying on the ground by one of the walls, a ball point pen stuck in the metal spine. She leaned against the stone, dark thoughts urging her to climb up. It would be so easy. Just jump. There was no way she'd survive that. But... At Hogwarts? Make one more bad memory at Hogwarts? No one needed that. If she put the needs of others before her own, maybe it would be easier to ignore that dark and deadly voice in the forefront of her mind.
So she turned away from it, pulling her wand from her sleeve. Practice. It was dark enough. Having to learn wordless magic at the level of a 1st year was so frustrating. She flicked her wand urging it to light for a simple Lumos. Nothing. Again. Nothing. Again. Nothing. Fine. Wingardium Leviosa. It sort of worked only the small loose stone she'd been focused on flew up and whacked her in the forehead.
So now she was bleeding and miserable. She threw her wand in frustration, sparks spurting from the tip as it was discarded and nearly about to roll down the steps. Ava sat on the ground and pulled her knees to her chest, hiding her face as she cried for the millionth time in the past year. It would have been comforting to hear the sobs but the only sounds that came from her were the toneless gasps for breath and the sniffles.
All of this was so fucking pointless.