Andrew Bodie Selwyn (battlefatigued) wrote in plagued_logs, @ 2015-08-02 12:33:00 |
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Entry tags: | andrew selwyn, gabriel truman |
Owl to Gabriel Truman
Gabe,
I could write to so many people - I owe so many people apologies. I can't really even apologise forthe thingsthe things that I've done.
I'm not the person you used to know. I don't know who I am anymore. I'm not
There are so many people I need to say sorry to Gabe, and you're one of them. I never wanted to hurt you. I never meant to hurt you. I didn't want to break up Gabe, I just couldn't see a way out of getting you hurt other than to break your heart.
You still have mine. I don't know if it means anything anymore, but it's true.
You saved me, that time. I know you know which one. You were the one who made me fight again. But I can't, I can't fight anymore, Gabe. I can't keep-
I keep seeing these-. And hearing all this screaming and I can't. I feel so. I can't do this.
I keep, I keep looking down at my hands and, and seeing a mark that isn't there, but it is, it should be there along with all the blood, all that blood. It's not there but it's still me, it's part of me like no other tattoo is, it's, this I earned this mark Gabe, this mark that isn't even there, I did that and nothing I can do will make it go away
Almost nothing. I'm going to make it go away now Gabe.
I'm going to make everything go away but I wanted to, just before I wanted to let you know that I'm sorry. And thank you. And that I still loveyou that I alwys always I always did.
I love you
I'm sorry
Bye Gabe
Andy.