Pillow Book

(Written in the inside cover of Sam's copy of Salinger's 'Nine Stories', which he left in the glove box of the Impala when he went to Stanford. Sam knows that Dean reads his books, even if he only does it when he thinks no one can see.)




Aged seven. Too big
For bedtime stories. You read
To me anyway.

Of power and a boy
Eleven years old: A hero.
We both liked that one

(On the back of receipt for American Political Science from a bookshop in Palo Alto. Sam found the receipt in Dean's wallet when he was looking for something else. The book was lost in the fire.)




Four years
Every day
I thought might be the one
You'd come




Here

Here

(Written on the back of an old receipt for a motel in Palo Alto, dated three weeks after Sam moved there.)




The last thing you said to me
As you got out of the car
Was 'Look after yourself, Dean.'
Don't think you knew what you'd said.

The last thing I said to you
As you got out of the car
Was 'Be seeing you, Sammy.'
Don't think you got that either.

You didn't have to wait for
Four years or even for one.
I was there the whole time, Sam.