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spidermoth ([info]spidermoth) wrote in [info]phoenix_flies,
@ 2008-03-18 13:28:00

Previous Entry  Add to memories!  Tell a Friend!  Next Entry
No Stranger To My Heart (Gregory Goyle/Narcissa Malfoy, G)

Title: No Stranger To My Heart 
Artist:

[info]spidermoth 
Prompt: # 27; Gregory Goyle is not charming, smart, or rich, but one day he sets his goal quite higher than he should be able to reach. To his own surprise, and the surprise of the rest of the wizarding world, he gets what he wants. (prompt suggested by [info]snapelike )
Pairing: Gregory Goyle/Narcissa Malfoy
Rating: G
Word Count: 1020
Summary: Gregory Goyle's patience has a bittersweet reward.
Warnings: slight angst 
Beta(s): [info]venturous was so sweet to be my first ever beta. She was good, but even more, she was kind!  Any remaining errors are mine.
Author's Note: This is my very first fiction outside of half a dozen drabbles. It went in a direction I wasn’t expecting but I don’t have enough experience yet to be a more “take charge” kind of writer! I think I may have a bossy muse. *sigh* 



 

She cries softly at night and I pretend not to hear. 

Her broken breathing and silent trembling wake me, whispering across the cold space between us. 

I lay beside her, a stranger in the ways that matter—stupid and clumsy and wishing I knew the language of caring—willing my arms and oafish hands, which weigh like stone, to move across the emptiness between us to touch her in comfort. 

I am not that strong. 

My stupid fingers curl into helpless fists the size of the pain growing in my chest. 

~~~ O ~~~ 

We are married. 

Lucius is dead, and Draco is in Azkaban, and we are married. 

It is to protect her. I wish it were more. 

I might wish it, and want it, and ache for it, but it will not happen. It is to protect her.
 
Wishing means nothing. 

~~~ O ~~~ 

Draco arranged it. 

Awaiting trial from his prison cell he uses what means he has left of Malfoy influence to keep her safe—his mother.
I am a tool, and I have always been Draco’s tool, and so he uses me to be his arm and protection for her. 

She is a Malfoy in the eyes of the world, and there is danger there for the widow of Voldemort’s General, and the mother of Dumbledore’s spy. 

The war is over but both sides share a hunger for vengeance—a desire to punish. 

Either side may strike at her—hurt her. 

I think the grief and sorrow will hurt her more. 

I am watch-dog, and body-guard, and protector, but I can do nothing against the sorrow—nothing against the abduction of her happiness and the life she was promised. 

I have no skill for that. 

~~~ O ~~~ 

When her breathing becomes even, I imagine her sleeping. 

I lay in the quiet of night, and think of things of the day. 

There are times when she becomes agitated—days when regret and solitude seem to overwhelm her. On these days she creates errands of imagined importance and we leave the Manor, seeking the remembered world of purpose and light. 

On one such morning we visited Diagon Alley. 

We walked past shops and businesses. Cold looks and sly whispers cut at her as she made her way. 

I bled on her behalf. 

I am used to this pain—my hulking size and thuggish looks have often inspired revulsion, but shunning is new to her. 

Contemptuous stares, like vultures, alight and await her everywhere. 

I want to shield her from this, almost more than from danger. 

~~~O~~~ 

We entered a shop, one which suited her, filled with delicate items of elegance and beauty. She was greeted warmly for once—almost what she deserved. I watched her spend time looking and touching—conversing in muted tones with the proprietor. She looked almost happy. 

I was dizzy with sharing that happiness. 

Much later I realized she had been greeted as Malfoy. 

She had not corrected the mistake. 

~~~O~~~ 

The sounds of the Manor in the deepening night are familiar to me, and I lay half-listening while awaiting my own sleep. 

She is so very still beside me. Deep slumber has found her at last. 

The rhythm of her breathing lures me and I turn my head carefully to watch her sleep. 

She is what I know of beauty. Softness, and grace. 

I will never look long enough to satisfy my hunger for it. 

Even before I was a man, her ethereal loveliness possessed me. 

I thought then of angels. 

I have loved her a long time. 

~~~O~~~ 

Lying quiet beside her and waiting for my own rest, an old but cherished childhood memory comes into my mind. 

I am staying with Draco at the Manor, and a bed has been made up for me in his room. 

Unlike my own at home, this one is rich and luxurious and I secretly welter in the sensual pleasure of it. 

Draco’s talk of the day washes over me as I sink into heady comfort for the night. 

The door opens softly and she enters. 

My heart stutters in hope and confusion. I am already a conquest. 

I see that it is a ritual for them—mother and cherished son. Such events are outside of my experience, so I watch in awe and fascination. 

She sits momentarily on the edge of his bed. Coverlets are arranged and smoothed. 

Draco is impatient as she brushes a lock of hair away from his forehead, but he quiets expectantly as she leans down to press a kiss to his cheek. 

Smiling, she rises and blesses him. 

"Sleep well, my dragon." 

We both watch as she moves to the center of the room. Suddenly my world waits on a razor’s edge. 

I have no breath... 

And then she comes to me. 

Nothing in my world has prepared me for the sweetness. 

Stroking my temple gently, she leans down to press the softest of kisses to my cheek. I am drowning in a swirl of sensation made up of the press of her fingers and lips against my face—the silken glide of her hair falling across my mouth and throat—the heady scent of her perfume, a potion of night cities and rare, exotic blooms. My drugged senses roil in exquisite confusion and my heart rockets painfully inside my breast. 

I long for things I cannot name. 

Draco’s voice drifts into my consciousness… "Is Greg a dragon, too?" 

"Would you like that?" she sends back to him, but her eyes are seeking my answer. 

"No… I must be your only dragon," he demands, confident of his place in her heart. 

Time stalls. She holds my gaze. I am emboldened. 

"A knight," I whisper. 

"A knight," she repeats softly. "Will you be my champion then?" 

Her words are light, but her gaze is somber awaiting my response. 

My soul swells with fierce pride. I can only nod. 

"Good night then, my champion," she whispers. 

The words linger long in my memory, years after she has left the room. 

~~~O~~~ 

~fin


(Post a new comment)


[info]severed_lies
2008-03-19 03:44 pm UTC (link)
You conveyed his faint expectations very well with that last part. One day, perhaps, he might just earn her respect at the very least. Great job with the prompt.

(Reply to this) (Thread)


[info]spidermoth
2008-03-20 04:05 am UTC (link)
Thank you! I sort of love that "love in the face of scant hope" angst. And I think there's at least a chance for "something" some day.

(Reply to this) (Parent)


[info]venturous
2008-03-19 03:48 pm UTC (link)
This tale was such a mysterious and sweet surprise to me! I love how it gives the tragic Malfoys the gift of some tenderness and care, that certainly cant make up for the devastation they have experienced as a family. But here is revealed the potential for love amid the wreckage.

I'd be interested in subsequent chapters.

(Reply to this) (Thread)


[info]spidermoth
2008-03-20 04:11 am UTC (link)
What nice things to say! Yes, canon does such a good job of vilifying the Malfoys that we tend to forget that they had their friends and supporters too. They've lost so much but love amid the wreckage...I love that.

(Reply to this) (Parent)


[info]sweetmelodykiss
2008-03-19 04:24 pm UTC (link)
That was so hauntingly beautiful. Absolutely wonderful!

(Reply to this) (Thread)


[info]spidermoth
2008-03-20 04:13 am UTC (link)
Oh, thank you! *blushing* I so glad you liked. I admire your writing always, so its nice to please you back.

*hugs*

(Reply to this) (Parent)


[info]drachenmina
2008-03-19 04:29 pm UTC (link)
Oh, poor Goyle, so trapped by his own helplessness!

Very nice, in a sad way.

(Reply to this) (Thread)


[info]spidermoth
2008-03-20 04:16 am UTC (link)
Oh, poor Goyle, so trapped by his own helplessness!

Yes, but so brave in a way. He has such a steadfast loyalty when he loves.

Thanks for reading!

(Reply to this) (Parent)


[info]lilibel
2008-03-19 05:05 pm UTC (link)
I love what you made with both the characters.
:)

(Reply to this) (Thread)


[info]spidermoth
2008-03-20 04:20 am UTC (link)
Thanks! I was a bit concerned that my Goyle departed a bit from canon. I chose to follow fanon Goyle instead. I like the 'still waters' characters, and you see Goyle with more depth in fanon. It was easier with Narissa--mother-love defines her.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]lilibel
2008-03-20 07:03 am UTC (link)
That's why I loved to play with him in Hp-Rpgs, so much possibilities. He used to want to impress Hermione because he had heard her say he was just a stupid (baking her her favorite cake was one of the steps if I remember well :p)

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]spidermoth
2008-03-20 08:20 am UTC (link)
ha! goyle and hermione! I'd love that pairing.

My favorite Goyle is the amused and tolerant watch-dog for a manic-kookie Draco. I read a fic recently where Goyle and Crabbe were an established couple and Goyle wore a frilly apron when they had a house party! He was so wise and sweet saving Draco from himself. I'm a pretty big Drarry fan so I end up seeing Goyle a lot. If you have a Goyle-interest and have any recs I'd love to hear them. Most of the time he's a humorous character. I really don't know what possessed me to give him such a quasi-tragic persona. Oh well...

(Reply to this) (Parent)


[info]beautyfulevil
2008-03-19 05:07 pm UTC (link)
Well done! I loved how you wrote it; the style seemed to fit with the tone of the piece brilliantly.

(Reply to this) (Thread)


[info]spidermoth
2008-03-20 04:26 am UTC (link)
Thank you! That's fine praise to hear! *blushes* I'm new to writing fiction so I wanted to try something stylized. Glad you thought it worked!

(Reply to this) (Parent)


[info]lexywrites
2008-03-20 01:02 am UTC (link)
Clean, poignant and oddly light. "years after she has left the room"--nice ending line.

(Reply to this) (Thread)


[info]spidermoth
2008-03-20 04:33 am UTC (link)
oooh! I like that you found that my story told by Goyle--so trapped by his cumbersome body and speech, came through as oddly light.

What a wonderful comment. Thank you. I'll be thinking about that for a bit...

(Reply to this) (Parent)


[info]torino10154
2008-03-20 01:15 am UTC (link)
Fascinating. I love the calm almost soothing tone you use throughout the piece. Bittersweet. Well done.

(Reply to this) (Thread)


[info]spidermoth
2008-03-20 04:36 am UTC (link)
Thank you so much! I like to think that Goyle is a bit calm and soothing himself. Glad you liked...

(Reply to this) (Parent)


[info]red_day_dawning
2008-03-21 01:42 am UTC (link)
This is lovely - very moving & hauntingly beautiful. Scenes that that have lingered in my mind long after reading are the poignant final scene, & the heart-breaking scene where Narcissa is so happy shopping, & Goyle realizes afterwards that she has been addressed as Mrs Malfoy. Well done.

(Reply to this) (Thread)


[info]spidermoth
2008-03-21 05:23 am UTC (link)
Oh, I'm so glad you liked, and that the scenes linger a bit. I tried to create a Goyle who's struggling with what to do with his feelings. He sort of teeters between hoping that he can have a real relationship, and reminding himself of the harsher evidence that he cannot.

Your comments made me feel so good! Thank you.


*hugs*

(Reply to this) (Parent)


[info]angela_snape
2008-03-22 03:35 pm UTC (link)
Well done! I love the last scene, with the good-night ritual.

(Reply to this) (Thread)


[info]spidermoth
2008-03-22 09:57 pm UTC (link)
Thanks! I wanted to give a bit of backstory for why Goyle has tender feelings for Narcissa. I kind of think of him as someone who's not had much tenderness in his life.

(Reply to this) (Parent)


[info]fbowden
2008-03-22 07:19 pm UTC (link)
ARggh! You've made me think of Goyle as an actual human being, with feelings, and not just as a thick brained thug! Excellent writing, and very beautifully crafted!

Flic xx

(Reply to this) (Thread)


[info]spidermoth
2008-03-22 10:01 pm UTC (link)
Ha! Didn't you want to?

I know he's not too close to canon here--fanon is much more kind!

Thanks for the compliments!

(Reply to this) (Parent)


[info]maireadinish
2008-03-23 12:58 am UTC (link)
That was so beautiful. You conveyed his hope brilliantly. I'm amazed that you got such a unique pairing to work in such a believable manner.

(Reply to this) (Thread)


[info]spidermoth
2008-03-23 01:12 am UTC (link)
Well, thank you so much! I'm inordinately pleased that you found it believable. I had this idea that Draco's friends would have known Narcissa from an early age and that if you created a troubled home life for Goyle, he would have found Narcissa's love for Draco, and her kindness, quite something.

(Reply to this) (Parent)


[info]xx_kerriann_xx
2008-04-06 06:09 pm UTC (link)

I just checked the thread, and I never did leave a reply to this for whatever reason. Better late than never, I guess :)

This was incredibly well done. Wonderful language throughout the story. You managed to give real depth and a certain intelligence to a minor character not known for either of those things. Narcissa and Draco both stayed in character, too, even if they were softened a little. Excellent job with the prompt!

(Reply to this) (Thread)


[info]spidermoth
2008-04-06 06:49 pm UTC (link)
Thanks! This was my first fic. It was fun to do, although it wasn't what I expected to write when I chose the prompt!


You managed to give real depth and a certain intelligence to a minor character not known for either of those things.

Well, I hope it was his hidden depths and not totally OOC! That was my fear! I liked Goyle in this, though...

(Reply to this) (Parent)



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