|phoenixfest (phoenixfest) wrote in phoenix_flies,|
@ 2007-11-07 15:21:00
|Entry tags:||fic: drowsyfirefly, fic: pg-13, hp/ss, prompt 52|
Fest Fic: Airplanes and Babies
Title: Airplanes and Babies
Prompt: 52: 2 wizards with toddler twins on an airplane.
Word Count: ~2000
Warnings (if any): mentions of an erection and implied MPreg
Author's Notes (if any): A very special thanks to lilyseyes who helped me with this at the last minute (shame on me!).
“Oh of all the stupid…” Severus Snape trailed off. Then started in again in a high, girly falsetto, “ ‘But I’ve never beeeeeeen on an airplane? Pleeease Sev’rus?’ Bloody fucking stupid idea that was. Bloody, buggering, stupid idea of Potter’s.”
The object of his ire was, at that moment in time, changing the girls’ diapers in the men’s room. Something that Severus without hesitation refused to do in a muggle airport bathroom. He’d do it at home, if asked (forced), but it wouldn’t happen at Heathrow, of that you could be certain.
And why did they have to fly, anyways? The girls were fine—old enough to go through the floo system, even long distance apparation.
It was those…puppy dog eyes. Harry man-who-lived-to-irritate-Severus-Snape Potter had a way with puppy dog eyes—they watered up and he looked like he didn’t know whether to start crying or cursing you or even worse, that he would begin sobbing in public and hang on your robes.
Severus barely resisted jumping half a meter in the air when Harry appeared—like that bloody house-elf, Bobbert or Dobly—in front of him.
He held the girls, one on each hip, and nodded toward the double pram. “Help me put them in?”
“Fine.” He let out a long, suffering sigh as he managed to maneuver each girl in turn into the contraption.
“What do we do now, Potter?”
“Um, well…” Harry began searching through his rucksack, looking for the tickets and maps of how to get through Heathrow that Hermione had provided him. He found what he was looking for at the very bottom of his bag, stuck to one of the tabs for the disposable nappies he’d brought along. “Now we take this to the desk for British Airways and check our baggage and then go through security. I think.”
“Excellent. With your brilliance leading the way, we can surely come to no harm.”
Harry turned to look at him. And those blasted puppy dog eyes were trained on him full force. “I wanted to thank you, you know, for letting us do this.” And with that he reached up and kissed Severus on the cheek.
He was fairly sure he could feel the blush all the way to his belly button as Harry gaily—what an apt word for the moment—pushed the pram towards the British Airways check-in counter.
What was there to say about muggle airport security that Severus Snape could say in front of the children? It was imbecilic.
Of course, Lily had screamed when Severus took her cup of juice away. He was told her beverage container was too large to come through and would have to be left behind. The man in the idiotic blue uniform had come this close to losing his left bullocks then—and Severus wasn’t even sure he would have done it with magic.
Then Eileen broke through Harry’s grip on her arm and ran through the grey arch, nearly knocking over an old woman who had been passing through.
And then—then the buggering fools had told Harry and Severus that they would have to go through security like everyone else. That they couldn’t just go against protocol and pass Eileen back through security to her guardians.
Of course, his baby had screamed bloody murder and begun kicking at the woman holding her and Lily screamed just as loudly when her fathers kept her from running through to her sister. Harry and Severus had barely managed to make it through in time to quell the accidental magic that was swirling around each of the twins. Lord only knows what would have happened if they hadn’t.
Right now, Harry was stroking Eileen’s hair and murmuring softly as he rocked her back and forth on his lap. Severus had given up on her shoes for the moment, hoping that she would fall asleep sooner rather than later.
Lily pulled on his hair and he looked down at her, his darling little girl, when she leaned her cheek to the crook of his neck. Neither of them liked seeing Daddy or Eileen distressed.
“I know darling, but your Daddy thought it would be a brilliant idea to travel this way.”
He heard a grunt from Lily and found that he rather agreed with her assessment of this mode of transport.
Severus could already see her eyes beginning to cloud with tears as she tugged hard on her left ear. He himself was getting a very uncomfortable sensation in his ears as well.
As Lily was the one sitting on Harry’s other side he elbowed Potter. “Lily’s ears are hurting.”
Harry didn’t even look at him but instead pulled Lily on to his lap and cuddled her close, holding her head to his chest. “Shh…swallow Lily, swallow.”
And after a few minutes she wasn’t crying or looking upset any more, but his ears weren’t getting any better no matter how much he swallowed.
“Potter my ears hurt.”
“I tried that, idiot.”
“Try yawning then.”
He didn’t know how to force himself to yawn. He gave Harry a baffled, irritated look.
“Just open your mouth really wide and breathe in.”
That worked. He could feel his ears popping into place.
“Sweetheart, they don’t have anything else. Please try it?” Harry was trying to coax Lily into eating some of the provided airline snack. They’d finished off the food from home while still in the airport.
“I’m not eating this gruel, either, Potter. Give up on our daughter. She has more discerning taste than Ron Weasley.”
Ron had lauded the marvels of British Airways’ meals. Ron Weasley obviously had some sort of indestructible cauldron for a stomach.
“Severus, don’t you dare encourage her. You will eat that snack and you will enjoy it,” Harry hissed in a deadly whisper.
Severus resisted the urge to gulp compulsively (now he knew how Longbottom felt in Potions all those years ago) and said in a light, forced tone, “Why darling, I was just joshing you. Lily, do you want to help me eat mine?”
Lily smiled brightly and Harry threw his hands up in exasperation. “Eileen, your sister has forsaken me. Let’s get out your coloring book and ignore our impossible relatives.” A quick switching of seats was made so that Lily, and not Eileen, was the one sitting next to him.
Severus pulled up the armrest between he and Lily so she could lean into his side. Severus crunched on the strange “low fat” cracker for a least a minute before politely spitting it out into his napkin. “Well Lily, let’s avoid the crackers, shall we?”
The next snack available to them was a small fruit cup. Severus stabbed a strawberry slice onto his fork and touched the very tip of his tongue to it before he dared put it in his mouth. Not fresh, but not bad. He put the strawberry in his mouth a little fearfully and chewed carefully. Not bad at all, considering those crackers.
And then he was struck by a moment of sheer genius. “Lily—you know those bunnies that Uncle Hagrid has?” Lily nodded, though she looked highly skeptical. “This is their favorite food. Let’s pretend to be one of Uncle Hagrid’s bunnies—all right?”
Lily raised an eyebrow at him like no two and a half year old should have been able to do and he heard a distinct snort of laughter from Harry.
“Potter shut up or I’m letting you try and feed her.”
It was the second hour of the flight and there was only one more hour to go. Seating had once again changed, and now he and Harry were sitting in the center of the four seats with a child on each side. He wasn’t sure why Harry had demanded they switch (again) but it became clear when his husband leaned over onto his shoulder and began gently snoring a few minutes later.
He also wasn’t sure why he had a hard on. Entirely baffling, really. There was just something about the way when he shifted, Harry snuggled in closer to him and mumbled a little. He tried not to think about the girls.
Harry would kill them when he found out that Severus broke his promise and slipped them both a tiny bit of sleeping potion, tired of dealing with their antsy fidgeting.
Then he shifted again, pulling the blanket Harry had draped around himself further on to his lap so no flight attendant would get any funny ideas. Harry murmured a little bit and Severus knew the exact moment he was awake because Harry’s whole body stiffened.
“You have a stiffy, hmm?” he murmured.
Merlin no, Potter, don’t use your sexy murmur.
And then—Severus couldn’t decide if it was to his utter disappointment or to his eternal gratitude—Potter said, “Get your mind out of the gutter. Dumbledore’s thong.”
Oh god. Oh god. That horrible, horrible, color-changing under-garment that forever tainted his view of the dear, departed headmaster. They’d found it when cleaning out his small vacationing cottage, his only other home from Hogwarts. He had bequeathed it to the two of them in his will, and as much as Severus was grateful for a nice cottage in isolation, he could not help but regret that particular discovery.
“I hate you,” he said as he felt all traces of horniness melt away and the erection shrivel up.
Potter snuggled deeper into his ribs, trying to get comfortable. “You’re welcome. Wake me up before the plane lands.”
Forty five minutes later the women and men in uniforms were coming around, making Severus put away his “tray table” and put his seat in its “full, upright position.”
He looked over to Eileen who was still sleeping quietly against him, curled into herself like Minerva when she took her blasted afternoon lie-down in the sunny patches of deserted hallways—Severus point blank refused to call it a “cat nap”.
He noticed a general sort of sinking feeling in his stomach, like a broom suddenly losing its magic in mid-flight (and he recognized the feeling as it had happened to him once as a small boy at his grand parents’ house).
“What’s going on, Potter?”
“We’re about to land. Don’t worry so much, Sev.”
The pilot’s crackly voice came over the loud speaker. “We’ll be experiencing a little turbulence as we land, I apologize for the bumpiness.”
It was not what Severus would call a little turbulence as he felt his innards move up and down inside him while the airplane shook. He had a death grip around the front edges of his seat and his teeth were clenched so hard together that his jaw muscles were starting to twitch.
“Relax, Severus, it’s just like flying too high on a broom. It gets bumpy and then you go lower and it’s fine.”
“If this is what you experience when you risk life and limb on that piece of wood, I’m never letting you fly again.” It was a little hard to be properly menacing when he couldn’t convince his jaw to open up.
“It will be fine.” Harry caressed the top of his hand. And then, out the window, he could see the houses and automobiles getting bigger and bigger, then the black ground below rose up and bam!
For a second Severus thought they had crashed until he was violently thrust forward and he narrowly kept Eileen from a sound head-bashing against the seat in front of her. The plane made a few terrible sounds and then they were on the ground, safe, rolling daintily along. Eileen had a few watery tears leak out and Severus held her tight, feeling all of the same anxiety within himself.
“You’re all right, baby girl.”
Oh thank Merlin they had landed. Never again. Never again, bugger Potter’s puppy dog eyes.
He gave one well-placed, angry glare at his husband who looked cowed and then bussed him on the cheek.
“Why don’t we just use the international floo to go back, yea?”
“Don’t know why I didn’t think of that, Potter.”