Who: Nike and Phobos What: Nike and Phobos go on a walk Where: Phobos's palace When: Before the uprising Rating: PG13 Status: Complete
Phobos was having a good time at home for once. Despite her protests that she was a horrible guest, Nike was actually very undemanding and he was enjoying her company. Her spirits seemed to have lifted somewhat and improved daily as her wings healed. There was hardly any pink left on her wings now, but the feathers were still short and immature and she wasn't quite ready for flight. With Aesculapius's poultices, her wounds had healed completely and where they had been, was now just pink skin quickly fading and disappearing with every day that passed.
Walking into his room with a goblet of ambrosia and a tray of delicacies, Phobos's trusted servant Aclys looked up from where he was keeping Nike company. "Thank you, Aclys," he said, dismissing his son with a nod.
Aclys stood with a smile and nodded to both Phobos and Nike and took his leave.
"I was thinking we could take a walk on the grounds after lunch," he said settling the tray on Nike's lap. "Maybe test your wings, see how strong they are."
"I... all right," she said, looking at them. "I don't think I can fly yet, though. I don't think the feathers are ready. I can probably get off the ground. But I don't think I can steer."
She lifted the goblet from the tray he'd brought her and sipped it, once more feeling the strength of the gods infuse her muscles. "Is that a hint that you're tiring of your servants' beds and want me gone?" she teased lightly. They hadn't talked about anything personal since Aclys's sisters had helped her to bathe that day, but it was a thought she couldn't get out of her head. A mental image. Him. With them. It made her squirm to think about it, and so she tried not to. In fact, she didn't know where the question had even come from. But she couldn't very well take it back now.
Phobos took her question in stride with an easy grin - something that had become a common thing now at least at home. "I find myself enjoying your company more than I'd originally thought and I have to confess that I am not looking forward to the day that you leave," he replied with uncharacteristic candor. "I'd ask if you could stay longer but I'm sure you're anxious to return home." And he didn't know if he'd want her to stay longer because the torture of being near her and not being able to touch her built every day he had to keep his hands to himself.
"I am," she said softly. "And I'm not. I don't know how I'm going to explain my absence. And I don't know how I'm going to face... Him. And there, I'll have to. And I'll have to answer for my failures. A part of me wishes that I could just hide here forever. I know I can't. And it's only a small part. But it's there." She looked down at the tray, not really wanting to eat anything. But that would be rude, and foolish since she needed to eat. She was still regaining her weight. How was it that she'd lost it so quickly, but it was hard to gain it back? It was as though something inside her had changed. Maybe it was the lack of appetite. Even when she did eat, it wasn't much. She picked up one of the tiny little pasteries, thick with honey and nuts, and nibbled at it daintily. It was delicious, but it still wasn't what she was craving. She just didn't know what she was craving.
"When I go back, will you visit me? Or do you wish to pretend you do not know or like me?"
"I don't see why I would ignore you. It isn't as if we're from two different social standings nor are we enemies that I need to save face with," he replied, his brow furrowed with mild confusion. "I would make a trip to Olympus to see you and greet you on the battlefield with a smile and a greeting even if you were on the opposing side. If your name is spoken slanderously in my grandfather's court I would defend you and your virtue. No matter what has been done to your body, you're still an innocent." A sense of longing renewed itself inside him at the thought of her leaving. "I consider you a friend and any friend of mine is a friend of Deimos's and I know that he would defend you too. If you like, I will return to Olympus with you until you face Zeus and answer the questions I'm sure he has."
Pretense gone, she moved the tray off her lap. They just weren't tempting her appetite. Laying back on the giant bed, propped up with pillows to spare her wings and the new feathers, she leaned her head back and closed her eyes. "No. I'll face it alone and deal with the consequences. Perhaps I deserve his anger. I should have been paying better attention. I should have fought harder. But then looking at the past, we always see where we should have done things differently. It's harder in the moment. And Zeus loves me. He... he won't punish me too harshly." I hope.
"He's a softy with his favorites and as you pull his chariot and you haven't been kicked out of that position so he must like you," Phobos replied with a reassuring smile. "I wouldn't worry over much about it at least with him but I'm still coming with you. You may see Zeus privately, but until you reach Olympus, the others might not be so happy to see your return especially Poseidon and I would prefer to go with for my own piece of mind." He glanced at the tray of delicacies and looked back over at Nike. "Did you want something else to eat?"
She looked at the tray again, but shook her head. "No. Not right now. Maybe... maybe tonight we could dine together? I'm tired of laying here. You said we could walk. Maybe after the walk I'll be hungry and we could sit and eat together?" she asked hopefully, wanting to spend time with him in a way that felt... normal. Well, she wanted to spend time with him regardless, but she wanted to do it in such a way that felt right.
"As my lady wishes," he replied with a grin, more pleased than he wanted to admit at her words. Standing, he offered her his hand and helped her to stand. They had taken walks around his home but she had always seemed a bit weak and she tired easily. Today would be the first day that they would walk around the grounds and test her stamina.
Her hand folded in his, he lead her out of the palace and out into the bright summer sunshine. They felt the heat but they didn't get hot so while it could be sweltering outside, they felt pleasantly warm. "I've made discreet inquiries with your siblings to see if they missed you and Bia seemed the most distraught. Your brothers figured you were out stirring up trouble somewhere but Bia was the one who was the most concerned and hopes you're well. I tried to reassure her as best I could without giving anything away and she seemed comforted by it but be prepared to be accosted by her when you return to Olympus," he said as they stepped up to the rocky outcropping that showed a well tended land filled with sheep, a few groves of olive trees and a shepherd and his faithful dog here and there. He loved this land even as he loved seeing it dripping with blood. Still, he could appreciate the beauty of his great great grandmother's creation.
Nike leaned on his arm quite heavily as they walked through his home and the grounds surrounding it. The sun, bright over head in the sky, seemed to beckon her to fly up and play, but she knew her wings would not support that.
"I will be ready for her," she said, feeling a bit relieved that she'd been missed at least a little by her sister.
The news didn't distract her long from the magnificent lands around her, not the fluffy white clouds in the eye-searingly bright blue sky. Looking up instead of where she was putting her feet, she missed her footing on the path and stumbled into him hard. "Omph!" Embarassed, she felt herself blushing, although she wasn't sure why. Was it because of the way his arm had flexed to catch her? Or was it the surprising flash of pleasure when her nipples caught on his armor?
Phobos's arms shot out to steady her, hauling her safely against him which meant pulling her body flush against his. He liked that very much even if he couldn't feel her with his breast plate between them. Staring down into her luminous blue eyes, he felt... something stir deep inside him. He didn't have many friends... ok outside of Deimos he had no friends and he normally liked that. Nike was his second friend and he cherished that as a gardner would cherish a fledgling flower in spring. Still, he couldn't help the flash fire desire that threatened to consume him with her body pressed against him.
Reaching up, he cupped her face, his large hands seeming even larger against her delicate and small face. "You should watch where you're going," he murmured, leaning closer to her. Her taste had haunted him since their first kiss and even now his lips were tingling again with the memory of being pressed agaisnt hers.
Her cheeks heated more against the cool, dry palms of his hands, and her breathing sped up, coming out in little puffs as her heart pounded in her chest. She hardly realized what she was doing as she slowly leaned closer. Her mind was no longer in conscious control of her body, and her body was moving towards what it craved, even as her mind began to shriek at her to stop. For a moment, wills battled inside her, an epic war for control of life and limb.
Her mind won, and with a wrenching gasp, she pulled herself back, pulled away, and threw up every emotional barrier she'd learned to erect in the last weeks since Poseidon had taken her from the sky. "I should. I get in trouble if I don't," she whispered, turning her face from him lest she be tempted to throw herself against him. Conflicted. That's what it was. She was conflicted. She wanted him in a way that felt right, healthy, normal even. But was it? Or was it something else? Something rearing its head after what Poseidon had done? She didn't know. She didn't have any experience with this to draw on. And the only women around to ask were his body servants whose beds he was sharing. And that... that made her uncomfortable all over again.
She was in his arms and then out them like a breath of wind and about as fast too. He stood there with empty arms for a moment before dropping them in confusion. "I'm not going to hurt you," he said softly, reaching up to massage her neck with one hand. She was as tight as a bow and harder than stone. "Not all gods are like Poseidon. I would never ask you to give more than you're willing to give."
Stepping closer, he closed his eyes at the sweet scent of her hair perfuming the hot air. "If all you can give is friendship, let me know and I'll stop making a fool of myself for you and making you uncomfortable besides I'm sure. If you can give more than that... then I will continue to do foolish things if only to see you smile."
She thought that perhaps he was wrong about one thing. All gods were like Poseidon. They all treated females as toys. None of them seemed capable of any emotion deeper than lust. Or at least, lust seemed to be the emotion that ruled them. She tried to think of god who felt something more for the women or goddesses he took, but couldn't think of one. Not. One.
Maybe she was being overly critical. Or maybe the gods were just incapable of the gamut of emotions she witnessed among the humans. Or, perhaps, the gods really did feel those emotions, but they only expressed them behind closed doors with the women lucky enough to wake those feelings. She didn't know. What she did know was that she wasn't going to let herself be used again.
"I'm sorry, Phobos. I... I just... I can't. If I am going to do... anything... with anyone... ever... I'm going to need more than a reassurance that they won't torture me like He did. The dalliances of the gods are not for the weak and I... am still weak," she said in a whisper, not looking at him. "It's not that I think you'd hurt me physically. I... had little choice but to listen to the fulsome details of your intimate relations with the twins. I just... I can't," she repeated. "Not now. Maybe never."
He was very disappointed but not at all surprised. "What is it you need from me?" he asked quietly. He had a suspicion but was he willing to do whatever it was that she asked of him? Even if it meant giving up his freedom? Would he be giving up his freedom though? In the most fundamental sense anyway. She'd already told him many times that she would not allow her husband to have other lovers on the side so if what she was asking was what he suspected, would he be able to give that up for her? He silenced his questions and looked over at her, waiting for her answer.
"Need from you?" she asked, confused. "I don't need anything from you. Or maybe I do. Maybe I need time. Maybe someday I'll be content with what you're seemingly offering me. But right now? No. I'm not interested in taking a lover, nor am I interested in being one among your many. I can give you the friendship you ask for. But friendship does not imply physical relations. Much as I desire you," and she blushed to admit that, "I want more than desire. I want to be as special to my next lover as I was disdained by my last. Though to call him a lover is a travesty. But I'm willing to wait until I find someone who... who loves me the way I want to be loved."
"I don't know if I'm capable of that sort of love. I wasn't... born of love and I wasn't born to love," Phobos admitted softly. "What if I'm not capable of it? I like you, Nike. A lot and more than the servants and it... feels different with you, more meaningful if that makes any sense. I should ask Eros if he would prick me with one of his arrows so that I may feel love for you because I don't want to give this up. I feel comfortable with you in a way I only feel with Deimos and Amphitrite and that is a very rare thing for me. No one has ever matched them in anything but now... I think they have been matched if in a different way."
She shook her head. "NO! No arrows! I don't want your love it it's imposed from outside! I want you to love me because you do, not because you had to resort to being forced into loving me."
She glared up at him. "And the fact that you're even comparing me to how you feel for other women shows me that I'm right to be wary. No, Phobos. We're friends. And that is going to have to be enough."
Her stomach was doing flips in ways it didn't even do when she did a wing over. But she was determined to ignore it. No. She wasn't going to go down that road. Better to just enjoy his company and not think of other things.
He looked at her, confused. If he didn't compare her to how he felt about the servants then how would he know if he felt differently for her? Something inside him withered a bit at being told they would only be friends. But he cared for her! Respected her! Liked her! She was different, why couldn't she see that? "Friends," he repeated dully. This feeling of dejection was new and he didn't like it. At all. Hanging his head, he looked off to the side to school his emotions back to how they had been.
Their easy morning had died minutes ago but maybe if he acted as if he hadn't just made a fool of himself in the worst possible way, maybe they'd regain some of what was lost that morning (even though a part of him knew that that was impossible now). "Friends it is then. Do you still want to walk around the grounds or are you ready to go back inside?" He looked up and over at her, attempting to mask what he felt.
"Why would I want to go back inside? Or is it that you want to go back inside so that you can get away from me now that you know I'm not going to willingly part my thighs for you? A fuck was all you wanted after all?" She grimaced at the thought, but couldn't help but think that she should be relieved to have discovered it before she foolishly gave him what he wanted. She shouldn't be hurt, she told herself. But she was. "The fact that we're still just friends as we were when we came out here doesn't make me want to go in. But if you want to leave me, then please do. I'll manage to get back somehow. You can always send Aclys or the girls to help me. You don't have to worry about me."
Her reaction puzzled him. She said that they were only friends and yet here she was acting the spurned lover. Well which was it? "I asked if you wanted to go in because we've been standing out here for a little while and I don't know how good your strength is," he replied calmly, his hands out in an unconscious gesture to show that he was unarmed. "I was trying to be considerate of you. But if you feel you're up to it, I'd like to continue our walk." He held out his hand, wondering to himself how he was going to handle just being her friend. He'd liked it before, but... there'd always been that hope that she would want him later on. Now it seemed that wasn't going to be the case. Ever. He still wanted to be her friend, but he didn't know how he was going to handle these feelings of desire and yearning for her.
She could tell he was unhappy and felt a moment of guilt, but she quickly pushed it aside. It wasn't her fault he wanted more than she could give him. He'd live. He'd probably bed someone else and forget he ever wanted her soon enough. Such were the lusts of the gods. Taking his his offered hand, she turned her attention back to the path they'd been on, noticing it seemed to lead into a citrus orchard, the fruit looking brightly colored and ripe under the relentless sun. Now with a destination, she began making her way towards it, feeling a slight bite of hunger at the sight of the lush fruit.
Phobos couldn't help but grin as they approached the orchard. Here among the trees and shade, it was cool with just a hint of moisture. Reaching up, he plucked one of the best looking oranges from the tree and handed it to Nike then grabbed one for himself. With a wave of his hand he had both oranges peeled and he tore a wedge, biting into its plump flesh. The orange was sweet and citrusy, perfect for the gods. "Whatever happens when you go home to Olympus, I won't let anything happen to you," he said quietly after a few moments of slightly awkward, slightly tense, trying-to-be-like-how-they-had-been-before silence.
She took the peeled orange and tore off a wedge, her teeth cutting through the soft flesh so that the flavor exploded on her tongue. It was sweet, and it tasted like liquid sunlight. She moaned softly in appreciation, savoring the flavor, the moment. Warmed within and without. It was a perfect moment. His comment brought her out of the haze the flavor had induced, and she looked up at him, once more feeling that pull to be near him. "I know," she said softly. It was such a small step from this deep friendship to a ripening love. But he wasn't ready for that. And until he was, she would keep back, withholding just that hint of something more. "You're a true friend, Phobos. I'm lucky to have you."
"And I, you," he replied quietly, frustrated with himself. He took a deep breath and looked up at the sky streaked white with heat and the few clouds scudding the sky. If he looked hard enough he could see one of the gods, he couldn't tell which, sitting on one of them, looking down at the earth far in the distance. "I think you should leave Olympus. Live with Athena in Athens for a little while. You're worshipped far and wide, you'd be welcomed anywhere, particularly Sparta. But Olympus is poisonous, even for me which is why I live here with Deimos."
But she shook her head. "I cannot. Mother bound us to Zeus. He might be willing to let me reside elsewhere. But I cannot go without his leave," she said softly. "And I don't know that he'd give it. He seems to find reassurance in my presence." And if that was reassurance in his ongoing conflict with his wife, well, it was none of her business, and she tried very hard to keep it that way.
"But I may ask regardless. Perhaps Bia and I should live elsewhere for a time while I..." She stopped, not wanting to mention Poseidon.
"If he doesn't grant you leave to live elsewhere even when you are not needed by him, I will petition him for you. I might not be his most favorite grandson, but I have resources. I want you safe and I don't think Olympus is safe." They walked through the grove, plucking oranges and eating them as they went until they had their fill and the orchard gave way to olive trees. These too, they ate as they went, throwing away the pits for the birds. "And every god and goddess should have their own temple or palace to return to. Even Hermes has his own place of solitude. How much longer would you be staying with me?" It was a question he didn't want to think about, but all good things must come to an end.
She looked sadly at her wings, glancing over her shoulder and twisting her neck. "A few more days. A week at most. My feathers are almost regrown." There would be no further excuses to stay once she had finished fledging and regained the strength to fly. "Perhaps I should see if I can lift from the ground and fly back," she said almost in a whisper as though she wanted to feel the freedom, but at the same time didn't want to be so close to leaving, hoping in a part of her soul that he'd stop her.
He knew how much she yearned for the sky and the last thing he wanted to do was shackle her to the ground with him. Reaching out, he ran his hands very gently over her wings. They seemed sound, strong and warm beneath his palms, but they trembled a little. "I wouldn't suggest a hard take off from here if you're going to fly. I don't think they're that strong. If you want to test them, I would suggest jumping off a ledge or out a tree where you can catch a draft of wind and glide. Flapping your wings might strain them after so long not using them and I don't think your feathers are long enough for that." He wanted her with him on the ground but he couldn't do that to a creature of flight. Not even he was cruel enough to deny someone who has flown that ability as it is something he had always wanted to try.
She stretched them to their fullest, a ten-foot wingspan, feeling the muscles loosen and tense at the same time, her body anticipating the freedom of flight. But no, she wasn't about to leap out of a tree or off a cliff. First of all, that would be horribly undignified. And right now she had such a tenuous grasp on her dignity that she just couldn't bring herself to do that. And secondly, if she couldn't support herself, she'd fall and be hurt all over again.
Cupping her wings slightly, she met his eyes, then took a slow, tentative beat, feeling the currents of air on her skin, through her hair and feathers, caressing her, gentle, like a mother. The second beat was harder, stronger, the air scooped out of the way. With a third, she felt her feet lift slightly off the ground. Only an inch or so, but it was enough. Soon. Soon she'd be ready to fly again.
But she could also tell they weren't ready. Four beats and they were straining. Settling back to the earth, she grinned up at him with a combination of accomplishment and sadness. "Soon. But not yet," she said softly. "I think I'll be walking back after all."
"I have to admit that I'm glad. It'd be boring on the trip home and... that means you'll be staying at least a day or two more," he replied with a small crooked, almost sheepish grin. "There's a spring in that copse of trees over there. There aren't any nymphs, but the water runs true and cool if you want a dip before we go back."
She wondered if this was another attempt to seduce her. But the sound of a softly running brook was seduction enough. Nodding, she let him lead the way into the copse, pleased to see a small pool lined with rocks. "I'm surprised there are no nymphs here. It seems like a perfect home to them. Or did you scare them away?" she teased, arching an eyebrow while she lifted her arms and removed her linen chiton. She'd bathed naked with her brothers for years, and wasn't particularly modest. Although now that she thought about it, standing there under his scoarching gaze, perhaps there was a world of difference between her brothers, and this would-be lover.
Phobos's breathing became shallow and erratic at the sight of Nike's perfect form bared to him in all her glory. His mouth was dry and his hands and arms twitched to pull her in them. But he remained perfectly still and what part of his brain that still worked, worked on trying to remember her question. "No," he finally rasped. "I mean, there were, but there was a lot of infighting about who kept the pond and..." me, he added silently, "so they went their separate ways and the pool was abandoned. It was a huge mess, but the pool doesn't seem to suffer from their leaving." Tearing his eyes away from Nike's high breasts and slim hips, he untied the laces to his armor and his own chiton, letting both pool at his feet. With a pleased grin, he stepped into the pool and dunked his bald head. "The water's great," he called out pushing from the ledge and propelling himself out into the middle of the medium sized pool.
She moved more gingerly than he had, stepping lightly on the soft, velvety grass and wading slowly out into the water. She held her wings aloft, not wanting to soak them, but gave up after a moment, feeling the cool water play about her skin. It was perfect, and her wings would dry. She wasn't going to fly, anyway. Lowering them into the water, she leaned back letting her hair fan out around her as she floated, the sunlight dappeling her skin and the water with sparks of brilliance, her skin, as sensitive to the currents of water as of air, feeling the slight ripples as he moved through the water.
She looked like a nymph treading water where she was with that impish look on her face. Diving down, he swam beneath her and took her ankle in hand to yank her down. Her body looked blurred in the dappled sunlight filtering down into the green brown water and that was a good thing because he couldn't see her hips, breasts, stomach, and legs clearly nor clearly see the patch of red between her thighs. Swimming back up, he darted away from any retaliation, laughing a deep rich laugh that echoed in the trees.
Sputtering, she broke the surface of the pool, flipping her long hair back so that water sprayed out and wiping her face. Her relaxed mood was broken from the dunking, the momentary sensation of being unable to breath throwing her back to her capture, when she'd been dragged under the water by the sea-god. Coughing and choking, she stood waist deep in the pool shivering in reaction, willing her heart to calm, her knees to stop shaking. Finally, she manage to open her eyes, but she couldn't look at Phobos. Instead, she silently hurried to the shore, grabbing up her chiton and pulling it over her head, heedless of how the linen stuck to her wet skin to slump in the grass and wrap her arms around her knees, unable to stop the shaking.
It took him a moment to remember why she was at his house and who had asked him to take care of her. Immediately he felt badly for the attempt at play. "Nike. Gods, I'm sorry," he said climbing out of the pool and throwing on his own chiton. He knelt in front of her, keeping his hands in sight so he wouldn't frighten her with unexpected or unwanted touching. "I'm so sorry. I completely forgot. You've been doing so well... I just.... I'm an idiot."
She glared at him a long moment, one last cough ending in a gag as the last of the water left her lungs. "You are," she said before dropping her eyes back to her bare knees. "I think I'm going to be sick." It came out a whisper before she rolled onto her knees and vomited up the olives and oranges they'd eaten before. Wonderful. Now she was shaking and cold and it was a long walk back to the house. She wanted to cry, but she remembered his inability to deal with it the last time, so from somwhere deep inside she managed a reserve of strength she didn't know she had, forcing the tears down and gritting her teeth as she fought her way to her feet. "I'm going back to the house now." It was a simple statement. He could come or not. She didn't even know which she'd prefer. Her pride said she wanted to go alone so she could take her time and break down in solitude if she needed to. Her intellegence said she wouldn't make it alone and that she needed him. But that only made her more stubborn. Putting one foot in front of the other and forcing her knees to stay steady, she began making her way back to his house, to his empty bed that she'd commandeered leaving him to share his servents beds. Confused, she didn't know what that thought kept coming back to her. And honestly, she didn't want to think about it.
He knew her pride would refuse his offer for help but he knew she would need help home so he stood as well and followed her silently. If she wanted to break down, he would be there to hold her even though he knew she'd hate that too. When she stumbled, he was there beside her to hold her up and let his hand linger after she no longer needed it before he dropped it. He would move back to walk behind her a few paces behind but still close enough to dart forward and keep her from falling should she trip. Their clothes were dry by the time they reached his home an hour or so later. He sent Aclys to draw a bath for Nike and bring her some watered wine to settle her stomach. "Do you need me for anything else?" he asked quietly, his face full of the guilt and worry he felt. He felt useless because he so wanted to help her, but was unable to do a single thing for her.
She shook her head no with a touch of sadness. The one thing she wanted, he couldn't or wouldn't give her. Not on his own. Silently, she turned into the suite she'd been occupying, once more noticing his scent clinging to the sheets on the bed. It both comforted her and broke her heart as she lay down on it, curling into a ball as she had that first day, the sobs she'd forced down finding release, tearing at her throat as she shook. She couldn't even wait for him to leave. The pain of her ordeal was too close to the surface, and the fright in the pond had pushed her past her breaking point. She'd managed for his sake to hold it back, but she couldn't any more. At least now he could turn and pretend he didn't see, didn't know. Although if he did, she knew that would be the end of anything she could feel for him. But now she wouldn't force it on him. After being forced herself, she never wanted to force emotion on anyone.
At that moment Phobos knew he indeed have a heart and it was breaking for Nike. He didn't understand why she was crying, but the fact that she was so sad made him wretched. Was she crying because he had dunked her or was she crying because he'd touched her? Well, if it was the latter, then he couldn't help himself just as he couldn't help himself now.
Not knowing if she would jerk away from him, he walked across the room and sat on the edge of the bed. "You're going to make yourself sick," he murmured, reaching out to lay his hand on her arm. Unable to help himself, he wrapped his arm around her waist and laid his body behind hers, spooning her as best he could with her wings in the way. It was awkward and he wasn't as close as he wanted to be, but he hoped that his nearness would give her some comfort. "I'm sorry," he whispered against the crown of her head. "Please forgive me."
Why was he doing this? It only made it harder. He acted like he loved her, but he didn't, and she was so twisted up now she couldn't tell what was up or down. Taking the comfort he offered, and unsure why should found it comforting but willing to accept that she did, she turned to face him, looking up at him with swollen, red rimmed eyes, then closed her eyes as she laid her head on his chest. She shouldn't cling to him like this, she shouldn't want to. But she did want to and so she stopped trying to think or care what she should and merely accepted what he was willing to give. Her tears wet his chest instead of a pillow, but she hardly noticed as she let out the fear she'd been holding in lest she upset someone else. "Of course I forgive you," she finally whispered. "You are who you are. My friend. I wish I could be stronger for you. I wish I could be what you want, give you what you want. But I c-c-can't," she choked out.
"Shh, shh," he murmured, running his hands up and down her back between her wings. He'd never felt such tenderness before and the feeling surprised him and yet it didn't, not with Nike. "Don't worry about it. Be only as strong as you can be because that's strong enough. And don't worry about giving me any more than you want to give either. I promised you that you would be safe here and that no one would force themselves on you and I hold myself to that promise just as much as I hold any of my servants. If you want to come to me, that'd be great, if you don't, that's fine too. I'm more concerned with keeping you my friend than persuing you as a lover and then losing you because you don't want that." He kissed her ear and held her tighter against him. She felt so warm, so alive in his arms. It was different holding a goddess than holding a mortal. Mortals felt dim, even demi-gods (all but the strongest) felt weak compared to goddesses. They felt so vibrant and alive and Nike was nothing less than that.
Finally, laying there in the warmth of his arms, the tears passed, and though her head hurt and her nose felt stuffy, she felt better. Emotionally. She knew she looked a fright, though. It was almost enough to make her smile. Almost.
Yawning sleepily, she closed her eyes feeling safer than she had since she'd been plucked from the sky. Snuggling closer, she let herself drift off to sleep, showing him how deep her trust was, to let herself sleep soundly in his arms.
Phobos smiled to himself and laid his head on top of hers. He felt touched by her trust especially when her scars - both emotional and physical - were still new and healing. Kissing the fiery crown of her head, he settled her better in his arms and closed his eyes as well. It had been a long day and they both deserved a much needed nap. Just don't get used to this, he told himself with a faint pang as he drifted off. Because she's not yours and because you're not capable of love, she never will be.