perhin (perhin) wrote in perhin_fics, @ 2008-04-23 10:51:00 |
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Current mood: | awake |
Truly
Title:Truly
Rating:PG
Summary:Frodo is corrupted by the ring.
Pairings:Frodo/Sam
Frodo closed his eyes as the memory came to him again that day. Why was today more prominent than others? Why was his need for Samwise more than yesterday or maybe tomorrow? All he knew was arms went around his waist and he was pulled closer to Sam's body as it manifested again...
I climb the ledge. All I can think about is dying...A hand comes down and I am pulled up. I look at my ghastly hand. I am bleeding all over and my finger is gone. And my Ring is gone. It is gone.
"My Ring..."
"Frodo! Come quickly!"
Everything is shaking around me and rocks fall.
"My Ring...My Ring! I WANT MY RING!"
Sam grabs my arm and we run.
Sam brushes my hair back and kisses my ear. I look at my hand again. It still is missing a finger, but on it is a gold ring. It was a gift. It was to calm my nightly rages. I would cry and beg for It.
I am no longer a tween. My hair is dark shade of gray. I have deep circles under my eyes and a few wrinkles. My hands shake and I ache many of the days I live.
Sam continues to live with me. We both reside in Gondor. Gandalf thought it was wise that I not go back to the Shire in my...condition. Aragorn set aside a place nicely hidden far off in his halls for Sam and me. The only people I see on a regular basis are the King, Samwise and the few healers willing to see me.
I have been here for two years now. Sam is something more to me than servant or friend. We sleep in the same bedchamber, in the same bed. We kiss, we hug, we make love...we are in love. I ask how he can be bothered with someone who is corrupted by the Ring.
He simply replied, " I love you for who you are. "
I stay awake many nights watching him sleep. How he cannot be afraid of me like the rest puzzles me. Am I a normal lover I asked him once.
He replied, "I'll love you always."
At times I think I am Gollum. I sit in the corner and rock. I look at my gift and there is no inscription on it. I've even asked Sam in my states to throw it into the fireplace many, many times. I have burned my hand, telling him that is going to be cool, when my normal self is behind me shouting 'No!'.
We live in a part of the castle that has not be used in years. There are many rooms for us to use, and I again have my own study with books, ink, and quills and parchment to write on. I scribble on the parchment, sometimes not knowing what I write, and half the time it comes out in Sinadrin or Quenya or nothing at all, just lines. Is that normal? I have nightmares many nights and always Sam is there to comfort me. I usually wake up in a fit, crying or screaming (sometimes both), and Sam's arms are around me, rocking me back to a normal sleep.
Normal. I will never be someone considered normal again. I never was, but I something like it. Now I have no chance.
I stare out the windows with Sam's arms around my waist and I recall asking him once, "Will I ever go home and be myself again?"
He replied, "You are at home, Frodo, and you'll always be normal to me."
That was all I needed. I looked into Sam's eyes and I see love in them. And I know that he speaks the truth. Someone truly loves me for me.