Who: Yukine What: Getting a kick in the pants When: Trial Night! Where: Anger Circle Status: Narrative, finished Warnings:Spoilers for Season 1 of Noragami, Corruption! Corruption!, Minor warning for possibly creepy eye rolling/ unusual eye placement, Mild body horror, lots of crying too
Why does this stupid trial matter?
Why?
Why?
Why?
His thoughts echoed as he kicked the river rocks into the water. The resulting splashes did nothing to fix how he was feeling. Anger bubble up in him, it wasn't fair to be subjected to this kind of bullshit. He looked at the mark of anger on his arm. The black ink stood out like a sore thumb against the rest of his pale skin. He thought about how his back was covered in small marks for Lust. Why do I have to go through this? I already died, and every one gave up on me. What do you want me to give up on myself too?
"Might as well." A double of his own voice caused him to whip around. Behind him was another version of himself, covered in blight. Two large magenta wings hung off of the other's back. "Why does it matter? Your own god even gave up on you!" When the phantom spoke it was like several voices spoke at once, all higher and lower pitches than his own. The hairs on the back of Yukine's neck stood up.
"I'm not going to listen to you. You're just an apparition the stupid trial made up." He spat back and turned back around. Yukine picked up a couple of rocks and started throwing them as far as he could. As much as he tried he couldn't get the feeling of the phantom staring at him out of his head. It's white eyes were trained on him with every movement he made. Yukine grit his teeth, This is so freaky! He threw a rather large rock and watched the large splash it made.
A hand touched his shoulder and Yukine stiffened. "You can't ignore me Yukine. I'm not part of your imagination." The phantom spoke in his ear. He could feel it against his back, "We're the same. I'm just your inner thoughts. Why does this stupid trial matter right?" Yukine swallowed dryly, there was so way this hallucination was real. People talked about having hallucinations all the time, did they ever have hallucinations of themselves? "Be angry Yukine. Be violent. It's not fair. Not at all. Be angry, it's good for them."
Them? He could hear the same chorus of voices along his back again.
Yukine looked at his double's face, blood draining as he was met with a fanged grin. The phantom grabbed his shirt as he tried run away, pulling it off. Every mark of Lust along his back had transformed into eyes and a cacophony of screams rang out when they were exposed to the air. "No no no! Not again!" Yukine tore at the air around his back, not wanting to actually touch them. "No! I already did this!" Yukine saw the phantom approaching and ran away, down the length of the river.
The phantom version of himself laughed, "It's not fair! It's not fair!" He clapped his hands and chased after Yukine. "Break me! Break me! Break it all! None of this wretched world is fair is it?!" He screamed after Yukine. He flapped his wings and took off flying down the riverbed.
Yukine could hear the phantom getting closer. He pushed himself to run as fast as he could, covering his ears while he ran. Shut up! Shut up! His legs were burning as he stumbled over rocks and mud. Despite the growing fatigue he kept going. The phantom's breath practically tickled the back of his neck. I can't get away!
Suddenly the phantom was in front of him, wings outstretched, "You can't run away from yourself!" It lunged forward at him, and Yukine slipped as he stumbled back. Yukine shut his eyes as the phantom got closer. There was no impact, the phantom phased through him and suddenly Yukine's whole body flared in pain.
"GRRRRAAAAAH" Yukine roared as he opened his eyes. Blinding light was all around him. He saw Hiyori get thrown back.... by him? Yukine's hands grabbed the wall of light. His back was screaming as all the eyes rolled in their sockets. Through the lights he could see everyone... Hiyori was getting up, she looked hurt, Yato was dying on the ground again his body covered in blight. In the background was Kofuku, looking on with fear and worry from her house. He slowly looked to his sides and behind him, he could see Daikoku, Mayu, and Kazuma all struggling to maintain their borderlines against him.
Was he..... home?
"Yukine!" Hiyori's voice centered his attention, "Look everything he's done for you! Yato has been suffering in silence for you!" She stood before him with her determined gaze. Anger was welling up inside him, so quick and unrestrained he couldn't begin to stop it. Like a tidal wave it crashed over him and he started growling at her again. "He's been worried sick about you! Like a father!" Hiyroi yelled in his face as she walked closer to the lights. Yukine opened his mouth to roar with rage, but she yelled louder than him.
"If you keep going then I don't want to be friends with you!"
Friends? Yukine's mouth shut and he stared at her. His rage had been stolen away with sorrow. Tears started to well up in his eyes, and his jaw quivered. Why... am I so sad?
"Yukine! It's true you can't interact with the world of the living, but you've been given a name! So live Yukine!" Yukine looked at the body on the ground. Yato was pushed up by his elbows, a miasma of blight radiating off his body in thick waves. The pain he was in was clear and evident, yet in his eyes all Yukine could see was hope.
The vision started to go blurry and he blinked quickly to try and clear his tears, but found that they weren't the cause. Tears rolled down his face as the memory grew more and more fuzzy. Yukine started sobbing and screaming, sorrow overwhelmed him. "I... don't want to give up on myself! I want to live! Don't give up on me!" He swiped at his face and running nose while he screamed, "I'm sorry! I'm sorry!" He felt like he was drowning in his tears. The world around him started to go white.
"I want to live!" Yukine sat up in bed and quickly clapped a hand over his mouth. He was still in his apartment in the City. A sharp sting made him pull his hand away from his mouth and he looked at his right forearm where a new mark was drawing itself on his skin. Despair.... The sadness of his trial made sense now. Yukine rolled on his side and pulled the covers over his head. He stared at his dimmed nightlight through them, Yato.... Didn't give up on me...?