And All I Ever Meant to Do Who: Rylee and Charlie What: Rylee tells Charlie some unexpected and upsetting news. Where: Apartment 706 When: Early Evening, November 15th Notes: :(
It had been a few days since Rylee was told he was, without a doubt, getting deployed. He had been hopeful that things would change and it would all be a big joke, some toying of his emotions and nothing more. But with each passing day the gravity of the situation settled more firmly on Rylee’s shoulders.
Already Charlie had picked up on something being wrong. Rylee could never lie to her and he could barely control the emotions that would play across his face. He had tried to act normal, celebrating the USMC birthday and Veteran’s day with her in a flourish of bedroom activity and dining on far too much bad food. But in the end it hadn’t come as a surprise when Charlie began asking questions. Rylee knew he couldn’t brush them off for much longer. It had to be said and the sooner, probably the better. At least then they both could prepare. Rylee had to get things taken care of and he couldn’t exactly do that without Charlie’s consent.
Rylee retrieved his letter calling for his service from his safe and slowly approached his kitchen where Charlie was washing some dishes. He lingered by the entrance, watching her move about with her long hair tied up haphazardly in a bun and her lips forming a small frown. He found that he didn’t have a clue how to broach this subject. When they were both in the Marines this had been something which was expected but now, it was more dangerous, more random, and he had promised not to leave her.
Finally, he just dove in. “Hey, Lee?” He took a step into the kitchen area but kept his distance from her. Tapping the letter against the counter top he kept his eyes downcast. “I was just wondering if...uh...so I’m updatin’ my will and I was thinkin’ of addin’ you to it. I had my mom listed as receiving everything with a request that she let’s you pick what you wanted but I was thinkin’ that since we’re both here right now I’d make stuff more directly written to you. Like, my furniture and computer and all that. Mom can take the family stuff and half of my collectibles. And uh...”
He closed his mouth and furrowed his brow, this wasn’t going well. Not at all. But how else could he bring this up?
Charlie turned to glance at Rylee, her hands soap covered and pruny from the dishes; Jack was sleeping peacefully in the living room, for the most part dead to the world and content in the domestic scene. Charlie had used far too much soap, nearly overflowing the sink with bubbles, but it made the chore fun; she was all set for a relaxing evening in jeans and a plaid top, her feet bare to pad around the apartment comfortably. Normally she was one for take out boxes and disposable cutlery, but she enjoyed Rylee’s cooking far too much to not offer to do the dishes in return. And, in some ways, she found it incredibly relaxing. But what caused the exact opposite effect was the strange way Rylee had been acting for some time now: furtive glances at her when he thought she wasn’t looking; a slightly tighter grip when they were lying in bed together, falling asleep; and now he was going to update his will?
Throwing the sponge into the mess she’d made of the sink (sending both water and bubbles flying in small arcs around the minuscule lake), Charlie leaned on one hand while the other went to her hip in a classic pose of annoyance.
“An’ what? Are yah finally gonna say what the hell’s been eatin’ at yah for the last few weeks? An’ don’t think yah can lie to me, Rylee Ekholm, I can tell, don’t think I can’t, both me an’ yer momma know exactly how yah get when yah even try.” She straightened, crossing her arms over her chest as her head canted slightly to the side. After a moment she sighed, uncrossing her arms and wiping her hands on her shirt before brushing a few loose strands of hair that had escaped from a bun back behind her ears.
“Look, whatever it is, I ain’t gonna be mad, I jus’ wanna know what it is, OK, Ryry?” She tried a gentler tone, trying to calm herself into tones that wouldn’t frighten her boyfriend off like a terrified and shy horse. Her mouth frowned, expression fighting to keep from slipping into an all-out angry mask.
Rylee opened his mouth, willing himself to speak, but quickly he lost all the words that he could say. Oh, nothing’s been eating me. Just getting deployed, he thought to himself which only made him frown in distress. “So...you’ve noticed how I’ve been acting...” he said quietly as he gripped the letter in both hands and stared at the floor as if he was a child being scolded.
He took in a deep breath and allowed his shoulders to slump down in defeat. Defeat against the military, defeat against trying to protect Charlie, and the broken promise of not ever leaving her. “You know...I’m just listed as inactive for the Marines. My contract ends next year and...well you know how the Corps work. If...if they need a Marine to do something specific...they’ll do anything to get him. Especially if it’s a matter of the Marine just being inactive...”
He looked up at Charlie and felt a sting in his eyes. Tears weren’t forming, not yet, but they could and looking at Charlie made it more possible. He let out a nervous breath and began to twist his call to duty. “The Marines contacted me...I still...they want...”
The skin around her eyes wrinkled as they narrowed, her brain trying to process what it was his attempt at an explanation was supposed to bring forth. Finally she threw up her hands and moved out of the kitchen, walking around Rylee to move into the living area.
“Rylee, whatever it is, jus’ spit it out already!” Surely whatever it was, it couldn’t be that bad, but her desire to move was strong. Not necessarily born of the need to escape any confrontational situation (at least, not this kind, what with the words and the emotions that she felt were sticky and unnecessary), but just a desire to have some kind of action where she felt that her voice was failing her. If anything, it only served to physically show her agitation, the frustration that had been boiling under for weeks now. She wasn’t going to yell, Charlie was holding herself to that much, but she had to let it out somehow.
Coming up against the back of the couch, she leaned against it, putting her hands on top and letting them sink into the softness of the cushions. Her eyes went back to his face expectantly, her entire body a quivering mass that ached to be moving again, wanted to show exactly how she felt through motion but was denied the suggestion.
Rylee let out a large sigh and turned to Charlie. He gripped the letter, it now becoming squished in his large hands, and his eyebrows were knitted together in distress. It took him another moment to gather his words until he was finally able to speak. By that point, he realized that he was dragging this out more than he needed to be without doing it intentionally. So it was best, whether Rylee liked it or not, to just spit it out.
“Charlie, I got this letter-” he waved it in his hand, motioning that if she wanted to look at it, she could, “-and it’s from the Marines. At first, I didn’t tell you about it because I figured I could get out of it. When you tried to surprise me and I wasn’t at work? I was doing a PT and getting checked over by the Corps doctors. I was hoping they would find some reason for me not to go, that’s why I didn’t want to tell you and make you worry needlessly, but...”
His courage was faltering as he looked at her and for a moment he wished he could just bury his head in the sand and forget it all. “Charlie, the Marines snagged me, I’m getting deployed again...”
As though waiting for him to continue speaking, Charlie just stared. It took a moment for the gravity of his words to sink in - the idea that he would be going away, far away, was so ridiculous that this just had to be a joke.
“Funny, very funny, Ryry,” she tried, cracking a smile. She couldn’t believe that he would be leaving. He had promised to never leave, and the thought that he’d be going across the world to a dangerous area that he could potentially not come back from was something she refused to believe. Pushing off of the couch, she took two steps forward, crossing her arms over her chest. “Seriously, what’s been wrong with yah?”
Rylee’s shoulders slumped and he hung his head. “I’m not joking, Lee.” He sighed and looked back at his girlfriend as he chewed on his bottom lip for a moment before continuing. “Lee, why would I joke about this? I’m sorry, Lee, I’m so sorry. I promised I wouldn’t go and now I have to...I wish I didn’t, I swear. I’m so sorry, I never meant to break my promise to you.”
He wanted her desperately to understand and believe his words. This was serious and very much true. Rylee would never joke about something like this and if she understood, the sooner than the better. Then they could figure out how to proceed with this, what their next step would be and most importantly how they would deal with it all when time came for Rylee to actually leave.
With a nervous step forward, Rylee cautiously began to reach for Charlie, wanting to touch her and remind himself that he was still there at that moment. That he hadn’t been deployed quite yet. Charlie dropped her arms to her sides and stepped back, out of Rylee’s reach. Her expression was nothing but blatant shock, as her eyes widened and mouth nearly hung slack. Hands curled into fists, but it was less of a fight reaction than one of flight.
“No,” she responded, her voice barely above a whisper. “No, yer not.” The shock coupled with anger, refusing to accept any other answer than one that agreed with her statement.
Rylee only nodded, his face ready to crumble as he tried to step closer to Charlie, not trying to chase her or corner her, he only wanted her near. “They’re saying that I’d ship out sometime after Christmas to New Years. They’re sending me to Afghanistan for a year. Charlie, I’m so sorry. Please...I’m sorry.”
He reached for her again, not liking the look on her face but needing her more and more to be in his arms. She continued to avoid his touch, moving away and around him so her back was to the front door.
“I said no, Rylee. Yahsaid if I was your fuckin’ girlfriend, I can say what I want and what I fuckin’ don’t, like with the pictures, and yah can’t fuckin’ go. Why do they need yah now? Yah fuckin’ can’t. I won’t fuckin’ let yah go.” Her voice climbed in volume, just shy of screaming. Jack leapt to attention, sleepy eyes batting and ears laid back on his head as he tried to comprehend how the situation had changed so swiftly. He was on all fours, but remained behind the couch, observing the scene.
A subtle vibration was beginning in her hands, her arms. A tremor that was barely there to the naked eye, but Charlie could feel it well, and it scared her. It was always the beginnings of one of her episodes, something she remembered unfondly from years past - it would begin with the shaking, then it could blossom into a number of pathways. Sometimes there were sounds; sometimes the world itself shifted.
Other times it felt like she was back in Iraq completely, back in the suck with her squad as though they weren’t all dead. But she didn’t back down from his presented challenge. Her hands remained balled into fists, held at her sides with force.
Rylee took a step forward again, following Charlie wherever she went, and his hands were stuck out waiting to touch her as soon as she accepted the offer. “Yes, you can say what you want, I’m not saying you can’t. They need me to help set up an intel office at a developing base and help secure the area. You know how the intel work is, it’s in an office for the main part, it’ll only be a year...” What he hoped Charlie would forget was the details that Afghanistan had thus far been more dangerous for the troops than Iraq and working on a developing base was dangerous, even if he was in an office setting. “Babe, I don’t want to go either but you know we can’t say no to the military.”
She fumed, unmoving, continuing to glare at Rylee; her fists opened and closed, clenching knuckles into white flesh that were impotent and useless in this setting. Turning away from Rylee, she looked toward the kitchen, then the living area - she turned, paced in one spot, looking as though she were going to implode in place. Finally, her shoulders slumped, though her furious expression didn’t abate, and she moved toward the kitchen; its open setting left her movements widely visible for Rylee’s gaze, but Charlie didn’t care. Her mind was nothing but white noise, a horrible throbbing in her brain that was destroying all other potential thought.
Stepping into the kitchen area, she moved immediately to the cupboard that housed the drinking glasses. Whatever had possessed her to get a glass of water was beyond her; maybe the action would give her something else to think about, or perhaps she was just looking for some way to express her anger. She had to stand on her toes to reach the lowest shelf - later she would claim that she hadn’t thrown the glass, that suddenly her vision had grown blurry for no reasonable explanation. That she had felt it slip from her fingers, arc through the air and crash to the floor with such force that it shattered into a million sharp-edged pieces around her bare feet.
Rylee jumped from the crash of glass, his jaw dropping and his hands dropping to his side; Jack likewise darted forward, around the couch, but stopped shy of the kitchen as his paw found one sliver of glass. Whining, he paced back and forth until Charlie signaled him to go sit, an angry, thrusting gesture that was only half made. She froze in place, her head tilted down as she did her best to hold in the sob that wanted to break out of her chest. The tremor in her arms was getting worse, showing visible shaking, and she gripped the counter top to stabilize her legs.
Suddenly she turned, a quick spin in place without moving from her chess-board spot amidst the minefield of broken shards, voice instantly picking up where it had left off in its previous fury, her eyes alight with the fire of her anger.
“Yah said you wouldn’t go, yah can’t fuckin’ do this, just come and go like yah fuckin’ please, that’s not how it’s supposed to fuckin’ work, you fuckin’ promised me you wouldn’t, and now yer a fuckin’ liar, Rylee, I fuckin’ swear, I never thought I’d see the day, I can’t fuckin’ believe you, you fuckin’ promised me that you wouldn’t go!”
“Babe,” Rylee whimpered. His distress was evident in the tone of his voice but he was still holding back from allowing himself to cry. He stepped into the kitchen, the broken glass crunching under his foot as he moved towards Charlie, noting her bare feet and wanting to move her out of the way. “Babe, you know I wouldn’t leave you if I didn’t have to. I’ve been waiting to have you in my life for years, especially when we were apart, why would I give that up? Why would I ever? I love you, I’m not breaking this promise willingly, you know that. I don’t want to leave you, I don’t want to break this promise, I didn’t mean to, Lee. Please, please Lee, I’m so sorry.”
He felt as if everything he had worked for, all of his wishes fulfilled, were suddenly crumbling and falling through his fingers. He had her, finally, the only girl he had ever truly loved and now he was losing her. What hurt so much was not only that he was losing her because he was deploying, but that it seemed he was losing her that moment, and he realized that he needed her as much as she needed him. If he didn’t have her, what was there to come home to?
“Please don’t move, Lee. Let me clean up the glass so you don’t cut your feet. Then you can keep yelling at me,” he mumbled as his shoulders slumped and he tried not to accidentally blink out tears.
Charlie completely lost all capability of hearing when he dropped those three little words. She had so rarely ever heard them in her life, so their presentation was always a red flag, something that would immediately send her hightailing it out of the situation. But now she was frozen, her angry words stopped in her throat and actually pulling a choking sound out instead of her frustrated and pointless screaming. A single tear escaped from her eye, a traitor to her emotions, trailing down her cheek as she stared at Rylee in complete shock. Of course, of all the people in her life, she could expect to hear it from him - and yet the reality of it was almost too much for her to comprehend. She blinked, one hand rising, both clenching fists and then unraveling to reveal their uncertainty of action in the situation.
“Did yah...did yah jus’ say...that yah love me?” The words were, in comparison to her earlier tirade, timid and weak, the voice whispery like a child’s. Though still shaking, her whole body tensed, her face holding the expression of a bird ready to take flight the moment the predator makes any move.
Rylee grew still, his eyes growing wide, and for the moment the tears were at bay. It took him a moment to review all he had said and that yes, yes he had finally admitted he loved her. So often he would think it while they were together, finishing off sentences in his mind with I love you but never before had it slipped out. And now it was in the open and it felt right. He had ‘loved’ one other girl before but it had never, ever been anything in comparison to this. Rylee realized as he stood there, looking at Charlie’s face and feeling his heart drop at the sight of her tears, that he had loved Charlie for a long time. Not just loved her but he had been in love with her for much longer than when they first began dating only a month before.
Slowly, as if afraid his answer would cause a bad reaction, Rylee gave a nod. Then he felt a small surge of confidence as he realized the tone of her voice had changed. Boldly, he stepped over the broken glass, dropping his letter onto the counter, before brushing the glass away from Charlie’s bare feet with his shoe, and cupped her face with his hands as a thumb wiped away her tear. “Yeah, I said it, Lee... I love you and I’m sorry I’m making you cry. I never wanted to hurt you.”
She watched his face, looking for a trace of a lie. His hands were warm, and looking up at him put a fluttering feeling in her stomach. Her limbs were still trembling, despite the attempt to calm herself in her mind.
“Good, ‘cause yah know how much I hate cryin’,” she joked, voice confident for the moment, avoiding the subject while she tried to resolve the conflicting thoughts that were confusing her. Charlie knew she wanted this, wanted him, but the trust she would have to give was almost asking too much.
“Do yah really mean that? Yer not jus’ sayin’ it ‘cause I was screamin’ at yah and yah wanted me to shut up?” Her face scrunched up in concern, listening carefully for any hint of subterfuge, anything that would give her license to run and hide as she had so many times before.
“Nah, I just wanted to make you stop cryin’,” Rylee teased, a small smile appearing despite that his eyes still held sorrow. His hands slipped down to Charlie’s shoulders and gently, he squeezed her, massaging the tension she surely had there as his face became serious. “Charlie, of course I mean it...” Cheeks growing pink, Rylee glanced at the floor between them and bit at his bottom lip. Admitting it was harder than he thought it would be. He was so nervous she would walk off and say she didn’t have the same feelings as he. But then, he tried to reason with himself; they had only been officially dating less than two months. He couldn’t expect her to feel the same way this quickly. “My goin’ away isn’t going to change those feelings either. I’ve loved you for a really long time, Lee.”
His cheeks grew more pink as his confidence began to wane, taking in a shaking breath he lessened his hold on Charlie’s shoulders and knitted his eyebrows together. “This was bad timing to tell you this, I’m sorry. You don’t have to say anything back, Lee.”
“No, no,” she whispered, though to whom was unclear; her hands flying up to grab at his shirt, rising up on tip-toes for his mouth. Charlie fell forward, amidst the glass that still surrounded them, pressing herself to Rylee like a pillar that would support her. Rylee reacted quickly so as not to let her cut her feet. He gathered her up, as she pressed a kiss to him, nearly climbing onto him, cinching her legs around his waist. Rylee turned to set her on the counter, their faces level with one another.
“I like that yah said that. I like it a lot,” she continued, holding her face near his. Her mouth worked for a moment, the jaw opening and closing as she tried to understand what to say next. Whether her own feelings were as strong as Rylee’s, she wasn’t sure; she wasn’t even sure if she could say as much to him, but she did know that him saying those stupid three little words made her heart skip a beat. And she wanted him, wanted him to stay, not just because the military was taking him away but because she just wanted him. He was so much a part of her life that she couldn’t imagine him not in it.
“Fuck, yah know I’m bad with this shit,” she finally grumbled, her voice frustrated at herself this time. “I...I love yah...too.” The words were eked out slowly, like it was another language she had only just become aware of; and though their formation took effort, it was not because the emotion wasn’t there. She hadn’t even realized the truth of it, not until now, when the words were coming out of her mouth; and the words, of course, weren’t enough, and she kissed him again, feeling more comfortable in the action itself.
Rylee responded with a quirky smile, it remained on his face as he looked over Charlie’s, trying to assure himself that she was telling the truth. Admissions of feelings were never something that came easy to her and saying something like this wouldn’t be happening unless it was true; his smile turned into a beaming grin and he pressed his lips to hers. “I do, Lee, and I’m sorry it came up like this.” His smile dimmed, the reminder of why they were having this conversation in the first place. “I don’t want to leave you, Charlie. I don’t want to go. I only had a year left, I would’ve been in the clear but they fucking found me. I don’t want to be away from you for a year, we already went through that and I don’t want to do it again.”
Her head tilted down, hands sliding off from his shoulders to the front of his chest, fingers plucking at his shirt. Hair shifted forward, falling out of her bun and into her face, hiding it from his view.
“Maybe I’ll jus’ throw yah in a fuckin’ closet and tell ‘em I don’t fuckin’ know where yah went,” she muttered, her childishness unabating. With a toss of her head she moved the hair out of her face and gave him a straight look, eyes red tinged from uncried tears.
“Yah better come back. If yah go over there and yah die, I’ll kill yah,” she continued, more clearly, the stupidity of her statement hitting her well after the words had already been spoken. But they carried her intent across clearly, tinged somewhat playfully by the severe and unattractive pout slash frown on her mouth. Her eyes watered again, but nothing spilled forth before her fingers rose to the task of cleaning up any evidence of her weakness.
“I’ll come back,” Rylee tried to reassure her softly but he never said he promised. The likelihood that he would be injured was much less than the men and women who had to go off the base. But the fact still remained that he was going to a war zone and a developing base that had less protection than the other bases in the Middle East. Promising that he would come back was something he couldn’t quite do.
Rylee leaned forward, giving small kisses to Charlie’s cheeks and forehead. His hand reached out and he brushed her hair back over her shoulder as his other hand gently massaged her arm. “I’m going to keep this apartment while I’m gone, you can still come and stay here if you’d like. Promise you’ll water the plant in my study?” He tried to smile at that, to cheer them both up, but he only ended up leaning forward and giving Charlie a kiss on the tip of her nose. “Babe, please don’t cry. We’ll just have to make the best of December, okay? We can spend Christmas together, get a little tree and decorate it and I’ll try to make my grandma’s Swedish buns. It’ll be nice. Just the two of us and Jack.” The dog thumped his tail against the floor at the sound of his name, head cocked to the side as he struggled to understand if something was wanted of him.
“I’m not cryin’, I jus’ got somethin’ in my eye,” she mumbled in reply, wiping at her eyes again, the tiniest of smiles crossing her face in order to buck up, if only for his sake. Part of her still wanted to be gone from this apartment, feeling vindicated in the worry that he was always going to eventually disappear; a taunting little voice in the back of her mind that was chanting told you so over and over. The rest of her felt useless, because there was nothing she could do against a threat like this. What was she going to do, call up his superior officer and tell them that they couldn’t have him? What would make Rylee different from other boyfriends, husbands, brothers, fathers? The only thing that mattered to Charlie was that he was hers. Her fingers wound in his shirt, stretching it out but giving her a good grip on him. She pulled it taut, stretching the neck, her subtle destruction of his clothing giving her a small thing to focus on as her eyes fell back down again.
“Well don’t let stuff get in your eye then” Rylee teased, his hands slipping to her sides as he jabbed at her, trying to get her to laugh. He leaned forward, pulling her closer to him so that they were nearly glued to one another as he pressed his forehead to hers. “I’ll probably be able to get in contact with you a lot. I’m bringing my laptop, we could do video chats and I can call you. We’ll still see each other, it just won’t be in person,” Rylee continued quietly as he tried to reassure them both. “It’ll be okay, we’ll be okay.”
“It’ll be fine,” she continued, tossing her head once more, moving her hair back but not releasing his shirt. The smile on her face didn’t quite reach her eyes, though she was doing her best to be convincing, for him. Her head canted as her knees cinched around his hips, holding his body close to hers even as she teetered on the edge of the counter. “It’ll be fine.” It was more as though she were attempting to convince herself, an uphill battle that she already knew wasn’t worth even attempting. Teeth bit into her lower lip, creating indentations in the skin, followed by a wet tongue that erased them like footprints in sand. The smile remained, somewhat plastic. Charlie’s fingers released, moving around to his hips, catching at the outlines of the bones underneath the cloth and skin. “We can make gingerbread. An’ yeah, jus’ a little tree... Ain’t no snow around here, gonna be a weird Christmas without any snow, huh.” The change of subject helped to calm her shaking, now barely perceptible as long as she wasn’t concentrating on his impending departure.
He paused, looking at her brown eyes for a span of a few moments before he slipped his hands under her butt and lifted her fully off of the counter. He stepped over the broken glass and moved Charlie out of the kitchen and into the living room where they dropped onto the couch together. Laying on top of Charlie, he bit at her neck and made growling noises as he fought to make her smile appear and stay. She giggled, a little against her will, and playfully pushed at him, refusing to surrender; in the end she wrapped her arms around him as though he would disappear the moment she let go. Jack followed them to the living room, sitting by the couch until Charlie reached out a hand to roughly pet him on the head; the gesture assured him that all was well, for the moment, and he laid down, still watching the couple to be sure that his mistress wasn’t about to dissolve into tears again.
“It’s going to be really weird not to have snow. Remember that one year when we were kids and we got hit by that Christmas blizzard? I suppose hoping for a white Christmas here will be worthless.” Rolling to his side he rested his head on Charlie’s shoulder. “We could make a little gingerbread house with gingerbread men. Well, maybe I’ll make the gingerbread and you can decorate.”
Charlie snorted, very unbecomingly. “I could make the fuckin’ gingerbread. Though there’s a big mess on the floor that says I prob’ly shouldn’t be allowed in the kitchen anymore.” She gave a little sigh. “I’m sorry I broke yer glass. I jus’....lose my mind sometimes.” Settling her head against the soft cushion of his hair, she gave another sigh, though this one was contented. Her arms settled around his shoulders, enjoying the weight of him pressing her to the couch.
Snuggling closer to Charlie, Rylee rested an arm across her stomach and pulled her close, shutting his eyes. “It’s all right, Lee. The glass can be replaced. How about this, we can make the gingerbread together. That way I can monitor you, make sure you don’t set the apartment on fire.” He turned his head to look up at Charlie with large, puppy-dog eyes and an impish grin. She wrinkled her nose in response, playfully giving him a light slap to his face. He laughed and rested his cheek to her shoulder again.
“If I was gonna set somethin’ on fire,” she remarked, “yah’d know it ‘cause it wouldn’t be any accident.” Her fingers began to methodically stroke through his hair, a gesture that calmed her. They lapsed into comfortable silence for a moment, and Charlie stared at the ceiling, suddenly wishing she could see stars. “Would yah...would yah say it again?” Her voice was quiet, wondering if he’d fallen asleep.
Rylee looked up at Charlie again, his brows meeting as he propped himself up to look at her in the face, confusion in his eyes for a few seconds, then it dawned on him and a slow smile appeared. “I love you, Charlie Fairica.” He gave her a quick kiss before snuggling his face into her neck, making her squirm and laugh again, and breathing in her scent, trying to memorize it now before he had to leave; January would be there soon enough. “And I’ll say it again and again.” The smile on Charlie’s face was irremovable, and she wrapped her arms tightly around Rylee, silently wishing for this scene to freeze in time so she wouldn’t have to worry about the upcoming year that would be absent of him.