InsaneJournal

Goodbye, little darlin’
Who: Fiona, Samuel, and Sean.
What: The first night home.
Where: Pax Letale, first floor.
When: 31 October, 6:19 a.m. After this.
Warnings: Language, blood, and so on.
Notes: Completed log.

The questioning had gone on far longer than Samuel had wanted. Some time after five in the morning he had convinced the Lieutenant to call his officers off, the solid hour of interrogation - relatively soft though it had been - having been a trial for them all. Fiona had done well by any standards, but he had watched her slowly deteriorate as they had gone on, drawing more within herself with every question they lobbed in her direction. At last they had counted themselves content with the list of names and numbers she had provided to substantiate her alibi. After reminding Samuel that her presence would be requested again - at some later date, when perhaps she would be more composed - they were at last allowed to go.

From there to the door of Pax Samuel guided his friend as carefully as if she were blind. In some ways, it seemed that she was. She was still wrapped in the blanket when he opened the door, shoving it wide for her to pass through. “Almost home,” he said, his voice rasping with an exhaustion he felt to his core. “You wanna stay down here tonight, or up to your place?”

“Here,” she whispered. Maybe there was the hope that if she stayed here, she could make Karin reappear, whole and healed, beautiful and healthy, the way she’d been before they’d come to this gilded shithole. Maybe she just wanted to stay while it still smelled like her, while it was still hers, while she still could, surrounded by her things. She could pretend she was over at Sean’s. She swallowed hard.

After Geb had battled scorpion men with Samuel, Geb had continued to look for Karin all across the city, knowing that if they encountered more scorpion men in the search, he would have a much better chance at battling them than Sean would. Just when it seemed that he had searched all of Newport seeing no danger or sign of Karin, Geb had slowly let Sean take control. Sean knew the city far better than he obviously did, and he was able to go to the hospital and check if Karin had been called in for an emergency, or even worse, if she was there as a patient. When they had no idea, Sean headed home to Pax, panicking and feeling dejected about the entire situation.

As he headed to Pax, he realized that he didn’t know Fiona’s apartment number, only Karin’s, but she had been staying with Karin, so hopefully she was there. He had missed the sirens and helicopters in front of Pax when he had been on his search. Dressed once more in his gangster costume, Sean knocked on Karin’s door. “Karin, Fiona, PLEASE tell me that one of you are home.” The time didn’t matter, let them be mad at him if everything was okay, but deep down he knew that everything was far from okay.

Moments later Samuel and Fiona rounded the corner, plotting quietly down the corridor. Samuel’s brow furrowed as he noted the man standing before the door to 107. Recognition dawned but slowly, Samuel’s logical mind insisting it could not be the same person he had met only hours before. A voice within him, soft but forceful, reminded him of who they had both been at the time. Geb, he thought, biting his tongue to keep from speaking it aloud. He threw a look down to Fiona, quite certain the last thing she wanted now was company. Sean would need to know what had happened - Samuel could personally speak to the earnestness of his concern upon realizing the woman was gone - but it did not necessarily have to happen then.

“You want me to get rid of him?” he whispered to her.

Oblivious, Fiona might have kept walking until she collided with Sean. As it was, Sam’s quiet question pulled her back to the present, to this new reality that Karin wasn’t a part of anymore. It took her a moment to understand what Sam was talking about, to really look down the hall and see who was standing in front of the door. Something new clenched in her, unexpected, sharp, and raw.

“No,” she whispered back, though her hands balled into fists and she edged closer to Samuel.

Sean looked from Samuel, recognizing him and nodding to the man. He had once been pretty scared of the intimidating man that had warned him so seriously, on his first forum post, but now there was a mutual respect, something that the scar on his cheek showed. When he saw Fiona’s face, Sean instantly knew, his eyes tearing up. He refused to fight back the tears as he shook his head, leaning against the door. “What happened to her, Fiona. I turned around and she had disappeared. What happened?”

Samuel’s jaw clenched. If there was one thing Fiona did not need at this precise juncture, it was someone else’s emotional collapse. “Hey,” he said, his tone a low and almost threatening growl. While he meant no rudeness by it he knew something had to be done - something to shake Karin’s erstwhile lover out of his preemptive mourning long enough to ensure Fee herself was taken care of. On slow steps they reached Sean’s side. Fee’s house keys in hand, Samuel stopped in the doorway, his broad frame casting deep shadows over the space. “Get it together,” he said, the missive unequivocally directed at Sean. He unlocked the door, pushing it open for Fiona to slip inside. One broad shoulder turned, putting her almost - but not quite - at his back.

“Sean, right?” he asked, as if any clarification was required. “You need to go to the Newport Beach PD. Tonight. Tell them every detail of you and Karin goin’ out. Nothin’ past you goin’ outside the club, understand me?” Neither he nor Sean needed the details of their little tussle getting out. The damage had been done; it was sure to be all over the news, though whether any corpses - animal or otherwise - had been recovered from the rubble of the alleyway remained to be seen. “You looked for her, you didn’t find her. Other than that...” He looked back to Fiona, plainly submitting to her lead. He turned, revealing her again from behind the solid wall of his body. “The rest is Fee’s to tell you. Or not.”

When Samuel moved, he revealed a pale, hollow-eyed version of the girl who’d been Fiona Shepherd. For a long moment, she stared at Sean, watching his reaction -- his reaction before he even knew. And even when he did know, he wouldn’t. Not really. Only Sam. Only Sam would ever know.

But Sean didn’t have to know everything to deserve to know what he could, she guessed. This was what had to be done now. Some part of her understood that. There were people who had to know. Sean. Their family. Karin’s work. People who relied on her, who loved her.

Everything felt distant. The pain was too sharp inside her, and for a moment, she was overtaken by the memory of her cold skin, the feeling of the wet slash across her belly, her empty eyes.

“She’s dead,” she said, her voice an empty husk. “I found her on the island.”

She swallowed. Her expression didn’t change, though her eyes became glassy.

Sean nodded knowingly to Samuel for many reasons. He didn’t need people knowing about their odd evening fighting scorpion men, they’d both be taken away to the asylum, but it had definitely happened, and Sean was extremely proud of himself for handling it so well, even if it was his godly aspect. What he was confused about was the fact that he had a god sleeping inside him, a god he knew nothing about. Sean had stopped believing in god or gods when he had become a Buddhist, so to be suddenly told that gods were very real and living inside Samuel, Sean, and who knows how many other people was quite the realization. However, the more he thought about it, the more it had made sense. He would have to research Geb when he got a chance to, but there were more important things to think about.

As Sean saw Fiona, he realized that her grief obviously far outweighed his, and he forced his own sadness aside momentarily to be addressed later. Now he had to help Fiona however he was able, but he also had to think about his whereabouts that evening. Of course he hadn’t hurt Karin, but he did have a lovely cut on his cheek now thanks to the scorpion men, that tied with the fact that people always suspected the boyfriend first meant that he needed to remember everywhere he had been that night, and come up with a good excuse for the cut on his cheek.

“Fiona, I’m so very, very sorry. Thank you for telling me. If you need anything from me, and I do mean ANYTHING, please let me know, I’m so sorry for your loss.”

Samuel was grateful Sean managed to word his sorrow so; it would not have stood for him to do otherwise, to pretend in any way that his suffering matched Fiona’s own. It seemed as the night progressed the man was steadily moving up in Samuel’s estimation. Still, all that needed to be said had been; he saw no reason to prolong Fiona’s slow march into the void that had so recently been a home. His hand pressed firm to Fiona’s shoulder, a steady weight he hoped would be reassurance of a sort. Gently he guided her inside, keeping her moving, keeping Sean to their back. Once she was safely inside, Samuel turned back to Sean, one brow quirked above his hard and guarded gaze.

“Go talk to homicide,” he said. “Tell ‘em you know me.” He did not ask if Sean understood; did not wait for confirmation. Instead he returned immediately to Fee’s side, his eyes on her, watching her for any sign of the dangerous distress - concealed or otherwise - he knew inside and out. Shock was to be expected; soon, rage and mourning and sorrow would come. These were not things he feared. It was the loneliness he watched for, the hollowed-out and empty feeling that would follow on the heels of this, ravenous and persistent.

“Fee,” he said, his hard fingers giving Fee’s shoulder a brief little squeeze. “Sean’s gonna go. If you want him to come back later, just let one of us know. Alright?”

For a minute, Fee could only nod, not even fully understanding what was being asked. The images of last night kept looping through her head, the feel of Karin’s blood on her hands inescapable. Part of her wanted to wash them again, another part of her couldn’t bear to part with any more of her than she already had. Sean had spoken, Samuel had said something, and she had to go back and try to remember what she heard.

“Thanks,” she said vacantly, stepping further into the apartment. Every part of her felt drained, exhausted. Every part of her ached. Her movements were mostly out of force of habit, out of muscle memory or simple ignorance that she should be too tired to do anything but collapse where she stood. Nothing else registered.

“I’ll talk to you later, Sean,” she mumbled.

“Of course.” There really wasn’t much more to say than that, so Sean headed into his apartment to put on normal clothing for the police station. Life had become very unreal.

Samuel watched him go, shutting and locking the door once their neighbor disappeared down the corridor. Then all his attention returned to his friend, and to the numerous tasks at hand: ensuring she had food she likely wouldn’t eat, water she wouldn’t drink, and that the trigger locks were safely in place on all the firearms he knew both sisters possessed. The keys he would keep himself, hidden where she would not see. He moved through the apartment, unseen by her staring eyes, conducting his work in relative peace. When at last he was ready to go, Fiona was precisely as he had left her.

“I’m goin’ upstairs,” he said, his hands clasping her tight, high along her arms. He leaned down, putting himself directly in front of her blank gaze. “You need anything, you let me know. Day or night. Understand?”

He received no more answer than he expected. With one last, knowing nod he slipped out of the flat, ignoring the guilt he had known he would feel. There was no answer but this, the first step on the long road to recovery. But however hard the path might be, come Hell or high water he would help get her there.