InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "I am wild"

Sean Allen (eternalearth) wrote in paxletalelogs,
@ 2011-09-28 22:57:00

Entry tags:

apollo, geb

So don't knock it Pt 2
Who: Luc and Sean.
What: Luc needs some relaxation, and he heard a rumor. Pt2
Where: Sean's Apartment
When: Tuesday, September 27, 2011. A little before lunch.
Warnings: Luc is sober..er. Ish. This could be bad good?
Notes: Idk.

"Hey, you deserve every penny of that money and more for dealing with Brittney the Bitch, don't worry! To my place! What's nice is that I don't exactly have to give you directions." Sean suddenly wondered how clean his apartment was, and then he wondered why he even cared. He didn't think Luc was the type to mind a bit of a mess, and if he was, he was sure that he'd be forgiven.

Once they made it to Sean's apartment, Sean unlocked his door, letting Luc in. "Make yourself at home." His apartment was simple, furniture he had found for cheap on craigslist or had been given from friends or clients here and there. His couch is a tanish color, and none of the wood matched. The coffee table was a light, almost white wood, whereas the end tables were a dark cherry wood, and the music tower was a medium brown tone. Against a wall on the way to the kitchen, there was a little alter table with fresh flowers, candles and a statue of Buddha. As Sean walked passed it, he nodded to the statue, giving him his thanks and went into the bedroom, kicking off his sandals, letting them land wherever they might. "I just have to find the extra Zafu and Zabuton I keep around here. Help yourself to anything in the fridge or cabinets."

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radiantdelphi
2011-09-29 03:29 am UTC (link)

Luc was courteous enough to shut the door behind himself as he entered, toeing his shoes off at the doorway because he never liked wearing shoes in other people's houses (unless the area seems like too much of a contained disaster, but it wasn't the case here). He didn't even pretend to know what Sean was talking about as the darker-haired man went questing for.. well, whatever it was he was looking for.

He made a bee line for the kitchen, lips twisting into a little bit of a frown as he eyed the contents of the refrigerator. There wasn't much to choose from (and it made a little part of Luc want to buy Sean dinner - or maybe there was something to that one too), though Luc did help himself to a beer – draining it dry in a few gulps, as the pot had given him horrible cotton mouth. And, yeah, the more he thought about being alone in Sean's apartment, the more he needed the drink to take some of his edge off.

A few appraising looks around the space left Luc more than slightly intrigued by Sean – particularly the Buddha, though it didn't take much for Luc to realize he probably practiced. He found the garbage can to dispose of the beer's empty container, thought about sitting for half a second, but decided against it – not wanting to get too comfortable when he and Sean were probably going to just rearrange themselves anyway.

He was still wondering what he was doing here – besides this meditation class, of course. Though that was beginning to feel like more of a lie by the minute.

There was no way he was letting himself get back into this kind of situation.. it'd only made things intensely awkward between him and Joaquin – except.. well, Sean was different. He knew it with every fiber of his being that this.. wasn't the same thing. Of course, he didn't know what it was, he just.. well, yeah, he was definitely attracted to Joaquin. That wasn't even really up for debate, even if Luc was still lying to himself that it had ever even happened. There was Lily too, but he couldn't even let her be in the same category as all of this confusion. And with Nate.. well, it had been Nate - and it wasn't even about sex with him. Of course, Luc had wanted to do a lot more than they'd ever had the chance to, and, naturally, was left wanting. But to say he was attracted to Sean was such an understatement.

He definitely wasn't ready to admit a lot of the reasons that want he felt around Sean echoed vaguely familiar. Hell, he wasn't ready to admit a lot of shit. What else was new? But he absolutely could not let himself compare Sean to Nate.. because some of the similarities were just too harrowing to think about right now.

And right now, here he was in his apartment, stoned off his ass, a drink in his system (that he'd chugged so quickly it did give him a little bit of a head change), and.. a really, really attractive Sean about to teach him how to meditate.

Really.

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eternalearth
2011-09-29 03:42 am UTC (link)

[info]eternalearth
2011-09-29 03:41 am UTC (link) DeleteFreezeScreenTrack This Select
After a few minutes, Sean came back into the living room with an extra Zafu and Zabuton, a large flat pillow and a smaller round pillow. He had his own leaning against the wall next to the Buddha. His was a tan color and the extra was a sage green. He set his set out next to the Buddha statue, and the green set in front of his. "Meditation comes in many, many different forms. Since I'm buddhist sometimes I'll chant before meditation, sometimes during, sometimes not at all. There's also an interesting form of meditation that is walking meditation, but today I'll show you typical normal meditation." Sean sat down on the round pillow. "You can sit on your legs which is very comfortable, Indian style, half lotus or full lotus." Sean demonstrated each sitting position as he talked about them and remained in full lotus.

"You don't want to be so uncomfortable that you can't focus, but a little discomfort should be expected. When you meditate I want you to count slowly 1...2...3...4. Each time a thought comes to your head, you start the count over. DON'T get mad at yourself if you find yourself going: 1... Man I need to do laundry...1...I suck at this...1...2...YAY I got to 2, DAMN IT!!! When a thought comes to mind, gently push it away and restart the count. I have days where I can't get passed one and I have days where I get to 20." Today was going to be a one day, he could tell.

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radiantdelphi
2011-09-29 04:34 am UTC (link)

Luc folded himself into a full lotus position, echoing Sean's positioning on the cushion – it was comfortable enough for him, and he didn't want to seem like such a newbie at all this (despite the fact that he pretty much was). He just watched the other carefully in respectful silence while the other man spoke. Of course, facing him how he was, he didn't have much of a choice but to look at him – and while it wasn't a bad view at all, he would have rather the two of them been side-by side to minimize the opportunity for eye contact. Oh well. Can't win 'em all.

He laughed a little at the description of the practice itself, but he couldn't help the slight nagging that maybe he was in a little over his head – though as that crossed his mind, he wondered if maybe he wasn't in over his head from jump. It did surprise him that Sean had days where he couldn't get past one, even though it probably shouldn't.

When he finally let his eyes close, though, it proved much harder than he expected – the whole counting thing, that was. Because yeah, he got to one, and shortly after that he was contemplating Sean's proximity. One.. did this guy really even know what he was doing to him? Probably not, because Sean apparently didn't have to do anything at all really.. one. God, this is so bad.. what in the fuck were you thinking, Haust? Oh, wait, you probably weren't thinking with your brain..

One.

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eternalearth
2011-09-29 02:15 pm UTC (link)

Before they started, Sean had hit the tiny gong next to the shrine. "I'll hit this when the time is up so you can slowly come back to reality." Sean started the little egg timer and set it down next to him. He usually liked to meditate with his eyes open, but given that there was a gorgeous man sitting right in front of him, he opted to meditate with his eyes closed.

One... was Luc gay? One... He worked with Brittney, of course he's at least Bi. JUDGING, One... a man that gorgeous and well groomed would at least be used to people thinking he was gay, right? One... this is pointless. One... Two...God he's gorgeous, but way to be shallow Sean. One...

Sean stopped the timer and looked up at Luc because this was just ridiculous. "Listen, I need to be honest with you. I'm not a very good meditating instructor for you right now because I can't concentrate at ALL, I'm barely getting through one, you're just so absolutely gorgeous. I'm sorry if that upsets you or weirds you out."

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radiantdelphi
2011-09-29 07:21 pm UTC (link)

The confusion was written all over Luc's face when his eyes opened at the sound of Sean's voice. Of course, he was all too willing to give up his halfassed attempt at meditation – hey, it was only his first time, and it wasn't exactly like the circumstances were very accommodating to clearing his mind.

Blue eyes went wide, though, when he said that, and he couldn't help that his jaw fell slightly ajar – because, well, wow.

“I – uh – well,” he tripped over his words as his brain went into a flurry of frantic thoughts – first questioning that he had, indeed, heard right, and then scrabbling for exactly what to say to that.

He had to laugh, because really? Like, this guy (who was gorgeous and so clearly unaware of it) thought Luc was a distraction?

It certainly did clear the air, however – and answer a lot of questions in the process that Luc hadn't realized he'd been asking himself. He'd mostly just assumed Sean was straight like he did most guys. Yeah, it kind of did weird Luc out – but in a strangely good way. Which just made him feel a little more weird, but that was easy for him to push aside for now.

“I guess.. I'm sorry?” Because, when in doubt, apologize – even if he did sound like a moron apologizing for his looks like it was something he could help. He bit the corner of his lip against the smile that was overtaking. He looked down at his hands (which had floundered their way into his lap), debating for a moment on what exactly to follow up his apologies with – because, well.. there was what he wanted to say and what he probably should say.

When he looked back up, he let his gaze drag over Sean's features carefully – trying to gauge the situation more fully before he said anything else. Though it ultimately just ended up sealing his fate as he studied that ridiculously handsome face. What he said next? Could definitely make or break him. Luc had been broken enough for one lifetime.. it was probably about time time Luc got made.

“Thank you, though. That's really sweet of you,” he said softly, that smile (despite how he tried to rein it in) still playing across his mouth at the flattery. Hell, it'd been a long time since he felt truly flattered by anyone – or more that he didn't feel like they were just bullshitting him to get somewhere. Which, you know, maybe Sean was - but he'd definitely give him the benefit of the doubt.. and probably a lot more than that, were he to ask for it. Wow. Did he really just think that?

“You're, um..” He pressed his lips together briefly as he made a gesture towards Sean's frame with one hand. “You're.. quite distracting yourself.” He laughed again, brighter than his normal tone. God, but he was so lame at all of this. “I – uh – well..” He looked at the other man sheepishly as he raked a hand through his hair. “I.. couldn't really get past one either.”

It was the biggest admission Luc had made since Nate died, and only served to make him painfully aware of just how sober he was.

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eternalearth
2011-09-29 08:46 pm UTC (link)

At first Sean thought that Luc was trying to be polite. 'Oh, that's really sweet of you, thank you.' To Sean it seemed like the polite reaction of someone that didn't know what to say. Therefore, when Luc admitted that he had been quite distracted, and for the same reasons, Sean almost fell off of his cushion. Seriously? Sean didn't know what to say, because someone like Luc very rarely went for someone like him. For starters, Luc was rich and Sean was pretty dirt poor. Second, Sean never really thought of himself as good looking. He wasn't one to primp or really focus on his looks in any way, so he had a hard time seeing himself as distractingly hot.

Now what did he say?? "Maybe we could go out sometime then." Sean got up though and headed to his bedroom, pulling out a pack of cigarettes and a lighter from his bedroom nightstand. He also brought out a little ashtray, all of which he brought out into the living-room where they had been. From the cigarette pack he pulled out two joints, and handed one to Luc, lighting his up immediately.

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radiantdelphi
2011-09-30 04:06 am UTC (link)

Damnit.

Of course he would suggest that - after all, it was just the most logical course of action when two people confessed a mutual attraction, wasn't it? Hell if he would really know, considering the only significant relationships (which were constituted of more than just a few dinners and some sex in Luc's book - which made two of them) he'd kind of just.. well, fallen into. The first one out of convenience and the second one because it just.. well, happened. Sure, Luc had no trouble getting himself laid – all he really had to do was smile and ask if someone wanted to go home with them. His batting average was consistently high whenever he stepped up to the plate – but Luc preferred to be a benchwarmer when it came to stuff like this.

Luc knew it would be rude to say no – at least without providing any kind of explanation for the response. And the thought of confessing everything about Nate to Sean just then, while intensely appealing (a disturbing idea, this compelling desire to open up to this near-stranger), was simply out of the question. At least directly.

“I'd love to take you out,” he said after a few breaths' pause, brows furrowing ever-so-slightly above his nose – evidence of the emotions warring in his brain. “I just..” He sighed, feeling like whatever he said was going to come out completely wrong and inadequate for what he was trying to say – because he really did want Sean in powerful ways (how could he not when he looked like that?).

He bit into his bottom lip for half a second before he continued. “My last relationship ended.. very.. abruptly.” Well, maybe not abruptly - but there was a kind of finality to the way he and Nate had ended that he was struggling to verbalize tactfully. It was one way of putting it, though so vague he didn't even know if it was going to sound like anything but a bullshit excuse. “And, like.. it isn't that I don't want to see you,” he rushed to add, because he had to make sure to get that across, if nothing else – if only so maybe he didn't completely blow this out of the water. “I do.” He laughed a little, teeth edging into his lower lip against a sly smile. “I really do.”

He unfolded his legs so he could slide his weight forward onto his knees, moving a little more towards Sean – abandoning the joint he'd been handed in the ashtray, because he wanted his hands free. He used one to nudge the lit doobie that Sean had out of the way, while the other came up to catch a handful of material at the center of Sean's chest.

He used the grip he'd acquired to leverage Sean towards himself a little while he leaned in to capture the dark-haired man's lower lip in a gentle bite of a kiss – pulling back close enough to feel his breath but far enough to look him in the eye.

“I guess I'm just saying I'm not really boyfriend material right now. For you, or anyone else. And I just.. well, I hope you're okay with knowing that.”

With the proximity, Luc was fighting an urge to shove Sean down and cover his body with his own – and subsequently let go of Sean's shirt as a precautionary measure. As he battled with it, he mentally cursed Joaquin for making him need this again. Because, God, he so did.

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