Phillip Wolfe | Phobos (inclinedfear) wrote in paxletalelogs, @ 2011-09-01 21:12:00 |
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Entry tags: | eris, phobos |
I Tried My Best to Never Let You In to See the Truth
Who: Rylee and Charlie
What: Charlie runs to Rylee for comfort; but don’t say so to her face or you’ll be missing some teeth.
Where: Apartment #706
When: Following this post
Notes: Gdoc holder!! DONE!
It was rare that Rylee would ‘bum it up’. Typically he had a set schedule: wake up, go to the gym, go to work, run, cook dinner, clean, do some reading, and bed. Randomly other events would find their way into his life but typically that was what he did from day to day. This particular evening he had broken away from his schedule. It began as he was driving home and decided to pick up Taco Bell. Skipping his run, he sat on his couch and ate the 10 pack of tacos like they were nothing; then to further this rebellious day he simply took off his clothes right in his living room and continued watching TV in his boxers.
He was just getting comfortable with his feet resting on his coffee table, the wrappers of tacos scattered on it like casualties, when there was a sudden beating on his door. It caused him to jump; it was around dinner time and he rarely had unexpected visitors unless it was Samuel or Charlie, and they usually didn’t pay him a visit until further in the evening.
Getting to his feet he started to head for the door until he remembered he was only wearing boxers. While the loud knocking continued he turned back to his dress pants, slipping them on and his dress shirt as well, not noticing that it was inside out. Making his way to the door he looked through the door eye and saw an incredibly upset Charlie standing outside. After a quick mental run down of what he could possibly have done wrong he determined himself safe and unlocked the door, opening it and holding it wide so that Charlie could make her way in. “Lee, I didn’t expect to see you here.”
She was still seething from the day’s earlier events. Work had done nothing to relieve the aggravation of Elias’ meddling, not to mention Dov’s continued presence in the Pax building. She liked to tell herself that she had nothing against the kid, but her reaction to events said otherwise. Dov being around just waved certain things better left to memory in her face, and upon getting home after a long day of stomping around a mall looking like she was going to kill the first person who asked a question of her, she’d changed clothes and realized that she didn’t want to be alone.
Jack was certainly comforting, and he’d listen without complaint when she railed about the various ways the entirety of the world was against her, but tonight it wasn’t enough. Charlie had grabbed her phone, considered calling ahead or at least texting to give Rylee some kind of a warning, but in her typical selfish manner she’d eschewed politeness and taken the elevator up to his apartment. It would have been embarrassing and another kick in the teeth for him to not be home, but of course he was. He was like a well tuned clock, always reliable, and just seeing him in the doorway gave her an immediate sense of relief that shocked her.
Moving into his space carefully, she shrugged. “Should’a called. Or somethin’. I was just...kinda bored.” Her voice wavered, revealing that not all was well and it was not in fact boredom that had driven her to his apartment. Charlie stopped, standing near the bar area of his kitchen and tried to pull herself together. Her eyes flicked back to Rylee, and saw the tag of his shirt sticking out. “Yer shirt’s inside out.”
Rylee was waiting cautiously at his doorway and slowly closed it, his eyes never leaving his friend as he noted that she seemed to be vibrating from emotions. Blinking out of his intense stare he looked down at his shirt. “Oh,” he said softly before pulling off his dress shirt and throwing it towards the living room. He stood in his rumpled work pants and his under shirt, his hair even more of a mess than before, and frowned.
“Charlie, what’s wrong?” She wasn’t fooling him. He could see that she looked as if she was about to burst. And while her anger always made him a little nervous it was also something he had grown used to. He wasn’t going to back down from it and he felt confident enough in knowing how to deal with it. He took a few cautious steps closer to her but still kept a respectful distance away. “Are you okay?”
Part of her wanted to instantly snap that she was fine, that nothing was wrong, that she’d wandered over completely by accident. Had gotten in the elevator and gone up seven floors to his apartment, purposefully on accident. Instead she just sighed and wiped at her face with her hands, feeling extremely tired. “Can I sit?”
Without waiting for a reply, she shrugged off her jacket, carrying it with her to the couch. She threw the garment over the back of the seating before plopping down herself. Charlie was trying to think of how to phrase what had happened, and she knew in no way was she going to look like she’d been given the short end of the stick. Not that she cared, she still felt cheated.
She shook her head, one hand lifting to comb back through her hair. “I don’t even know where to start.”
Rylee followed Charlie to his cluster of couches and almost took the love seat. Then he saw Charlie’s face, noted the mixture of anger and sadness in it, and decided to sit beside her on the couch. He took his seat, leaving a small space between them so they weren’t brushing into one another, and leaned forward to rest his elbows on his knees.
“Did something happen?” His voice admitted his worry. Charlie seemed to run on two emotions, sarcasm and anger, but this was Charlie completely serious and a little frayed at the edges. It had him worried. If he thought it over at all, he would have even been scared because Charlie was the strong one, but in this instance he was happy to be the dependable strong one.
Her mouth opened and closed, instead letting her eyes just stare at him as her teeth bit into her bottom lip. Was she scared to say these things? If someone pointed out such an idea, they’d receive a quick kick to the jaw, but that didn’t make it any less true.
“I got a letter awhile ago. More like...a day or two back.” She pulled one leg up on the couch next to her, pulling her shoe off as though to give herself some kind of distraction. Long explanations weren’t her strong suit. “An’ then this kid showed up, and now Elias is stickin’ his nose into it when it ain’t even his problem...” She was leaving out details, and she pulled off the other shoe, trying to back track to find what she’d forgotten. Her legs came up into a comfortable sitting position, crossed with her hands in her lap. It was then she realized she was now avoiding his gaze, feeling reproachful.
“I kicked him out, I had every right to, and Elias is jus’ bein’ his weird self, but it’s not his problem, an’ I jus’ don’t wanna think about any of it.” She’d been avoiding the subject, the contents of that particular letter, but now that she was being forced to deal with it she could feel tears pricking at her eyes. Crying was not an option, not in Charlie’s mind.
Rylee’s eyebrows heightened and he leaned in closer to Charlie. He had seen her cry maybe once, twice? So few of times and Charlie’s adverse reaction to being seen during those moments were so strong that Rylee chose to forget them. But still, it happened rarely enough that this left him surprised and his concern grew with each passing moment.
“Lee, wait, back up a minute. I want to know who this kid is and what Elias is doing but let’s start off with the letter.” He moved closer to Charlie and swiveled his body forward so as to look directly into Charlie’s face. She was barely holding it together, it was obvious, and Rylee threw away all apprehension, gathered his bravery, and slipped one of his strong arms around her thin shoulders. “Hey, what happened? What’s wrong? Talk to me.”
She tensed at the sudden contact of his arm - the comfort that it provided made the threat of the tears worse, and she frowned. “Fuckin’ swear, if you hug me I’m gonna cry,” she mumbled, pulling her thoughts together to answer his questions.
“My mom died.” Three words, easy as pie to say, and yet it was a complete admission of what she’d been avoiding. Charlie opened her mouth to say more, but all that came out was her voice cracking, and she pressed a hand to her eyes as though she could create a physical barrier to keep her emotions at bay. “All these fuckin’ years and she couldn’t send me a fuckin’ birthday card but she has the gall to let me know she’s dead, like I been worryin’ about her all this time.”
Charlie’s forewarning that she would cry if Rylee hugged her went unheard as Rylee’s jaw dropped at the next bit of news. He hadn’t known Charlie when her mother was around but he knew of Charlie’s mother. He had heard the town gossip about her and he knew Charlie well enough to know that her mother’s absence had always been something that hurt her. The fact that she was dead now meant that Charlie would never have a chance of seeing her. Never have an opportunity to find out why she had left. All opportunities had slipped away with Charlie’s honesty.
“Charlie, I’m so sorry,” Rylee whispered and he embraced his friend. He pulled her close and wrapped his arms around her small body and squeezed her tight as if to say that she wouldn’t be lost like her mother was. Pressing his cheek to the top of her head he let out a sigh and thought of how he had handled his father’s death - which wasn’t very well. But just knowing Charlie was there had been more comforting than any words that had ever been spoken. Just knowing he could talk to her, cry to her, if he chose to do so. With that he let out another sigh before speaking again in a low voice. “How did you find out? Was that what the letter was about? Damn, Charlie, I’m so sorry.”
Like she’d warned him, the tears poured out and down her face, which was ungratefully pressed against his chest. But she didn’t move away, nor move closer; he was warm and it felt safe to be in his arms. She didn’t have to worry about anything when Rylee was around, because whatever stupid ideas she came up with would be tempered by his worrisome nature. Her body felt relaxed and she wanted to just take the comfort without a fight, but her hands were already pushing at his chest, trying to give her some space. They were still close, closer than she had ever really allowed, and his arms were still around her, but it wasn’t suffocating her.
“It was a letter from whoever was divvyin’ up her estate. She sent me this stupid locket and some money, like that makes up for fuckin’ missing twenty two years of my life. Bet it made her feel better on her fuckin’ death bed,” she angrily replied, rubbing at her face and trying to clear it of any moisture, but in reality was just making a bigger mess. Charlie realized she probably looked a sight, but it didn’t matter not because she didn’t care but because she knew Rylee wouldn’t care. She sniffled, feeling pathetic, wishing she hadn’t come up to his apartment; but the other part of her was glad she had done so, because it was good to get all of this of of her chest.
Rylee eased away from Charlie and ran a finger under her chin, glancing down at her face and frowning at the sight of tears. He pulled her close to him again, giving her a tight squeeze, then released her and stood. “Just wait here, I’ll be back,” he said softly with his hand lingering on her shoulder. He slipped out of the room and returned shortly with a box of tissues. Placing the box on the coffee table amongst the remains of his meal he pulled a few tissues free and handled them to Charlie before taking his seat beside her once more.
“So she had you in her will,” Rylee muttered. He went silent for a moment as he tried to think of what else to say. Slipping his arm back around Charlie he pulled her back so that they were both resting against the couch. Charlie seemed to fit so perfectly against his body but now wasn’t the time for Rylee to get carried away with thoughts like that.
Going over the conversation he turned his interest to what she had said before. “But what does a kid have to do with this? Hell, what does that guy Elias have to do with your mom?” He suddenly had an edge of threat to his voice. He wasn’t sure if he liked Elias or not and he was protective of Charlie. Whatever Elias and this kid had done led to Charlie being upset which only made Rylee, well, pissed. “Did they do something to you? What do they have to do with your mom?”
The tissues were put to work drying her eyes and blowing her nose, adding more garbage to the already well-decorated coffee table. If she had been in a better mood, she would have joked about how much of a pig Rylee was becoming, but for the moment she was consumed by both the issues they were discussing and the warmth of Rylee’s body. Charlie made no protest as he gathered her to his side, instead just lying down and going as far as to put her head on his shoulder. It was very similar to the night they’d spent on her kitchen floor after the black out, but Charlie swept aside any connection.
“Well,” she started, eyes rolling up toward the ceiling, “This kid showed up on my doorstep, like, literally a day after I got the letter. Came right up to me, calling me Charlotte, an’ he said he was my brother.” She gave that a moment to sink in. “Had pictures of he an’ my mom an’ he said he wanted to know where the hell his ma had sent all her stuff. After she died. He said he wanted to know who I was, said he felt like he’d been lied to his whole life.” She did her best to give a truthful version of events from her own perspective, now that she was just letting it all out. “Said his name was Dov. I wanted him to go away, but...I was curious. I mean, findin’ out where my mom went, maybe why she went, all of that. So I let him in.”
Rylee was quiet for a moment and processed the information. Charlie having a brother made him feel like his life had changed a little. Charlie had always been a part of his life, part of his family, so if there was more to her life then there was more to his as well. He began to gently rub his hand up and down Charlie’s arm as he mulled over the information until he finally found some words. “Let me guess, it didn’t go really well? I know I would be freaked if some random kid showed up on my doorstep. But demanding information from you I suspect you didn’t take very well.”
He shifted his weight to grab the box of tissues, pulling Charlie along with him until he settled them back against the couch again. He sat the box on his lap and pulled out more tissues, handing them to Charlie, then returned to slowly rubbing his hand up and down her arm. It was nearly romantic in nature but even Rylee was too distracted by what Charlie was saying to notice the importance of the action. “Did you give him the stuff your mom sent you? Did y’all have a good conversation before you kicked him out?” It was a guess, but seeing that Charlie was here now and this kid, Dov, wasn’t with her he figured that she had kicked the kid out.
For the moment she had no protest while he moved her about like a doll, instead content and happily uncomplaining. She took the tissues and blew her nose again.
“No, I didn’t give him shit. Except we figured out that my mom was cheating my dad with his dad, she got pregnant with him, and that might be why she left.” It definitely hurt to think that she’d been replaced - she could faintly remember not really fitting into her mother’s standards as a daughter, which was backed up by evidence given to her during her father’s drunken pity talks, but she’d always done her best to believe that it wasn’t her that had made Madeleine leave. “I guess a new baby would’a been better than the shitty one she had already.” The words were harsh and unfair, full of self loathing and unnecessary dramatics. All of which Charlie gave no heed to - she just kept talking, letting it all out.
“He wanted the locket. It has my baby picture in it, and his too - but he can’t have it. It’s mine.” It was a little piece of Madeleine, it was all she had left. “Then I...threw him out.” Here she grew a little embarrassed. “Literally. I was...really angry. So I grabbed his jacket and threw him out inta the hall and slammed the door in his face.”
Rylee supressed a laugh but still a small trickle of a chuckle rippled through his throat. “Probably shocked the hell out of him because you’re so small,” Rylee said and the smile could be heard in his voice. “Well, if she left the locket to you then it’s yours. You don’t have to give him the locket, even if he wants it, you have every right to keep it. Legal right as well.”
He wanted to kiss her, to push away her self loathing. “You were a great child, Charlie. You helped your father so often. You did more for your dad then a child is supposed to do for their parent. Parents are supposed to take care of you, not necessarily the other way around, but you did a good job.” He sighed, his fingers trailing up and down her arm and his free hand patting Charlie’s. “So where is the kid now? Did he go back home? Anyway, where was home for him?”
She shook her head at his words, knowing full well how much of a crappy child she’d been to her father once they were alone with each other - but it was also unfair to say that she hadn’t tried. Cleaning up whatever bottles her dad had left around the house, taking his shoes off when he’d come stumbling in and land on the couch, and at least taking care of herself in order to stay out of his way. But the other side of the coin was stealing the garage keys to sneak into his place of business, getting crappy grades because she never really tried, and instigating more than her fair share of fights.
Shrugging, she pressed her cheek a little harder against his shoulder. “Fuck if I know. For some reason, the next day, right when I’m gettin’ ready for work, I get a fuckin’ summons from Elias to go to the lobby. He’s out there, an’ Dov’s out there, an’ this other guy who I don’t know, an’ I...asked them what they wanted. I...might’ve been...a little rude,” she added, understating her reaction to seeing Dov and Elias in the lobby. “An’ they just walked off. Wouldn’t tell me nothin’.” Giving another, pathetic sounding sniffle, she blew her nose once more and threw the tissue onto the coffee table. “I don’t want him here. Jus’ a fuckin’ giant, walkin’ reminder an’ I don’t know why Elias has to stick himself inta everything.”
Rylee frowned, his hand growing still on her arm. “He does have a tendency to stick his nose where it doesn’t belong.” Rylee uttering any form of disapproval of anyone was rare but he still was bothered by that day when he had met Elias. Now he was quickly becoming an enemy because he was upsetting Charlie. No one did that without Rylee placing them on a list of people who he would gladly dislike. Punch? No. But he could certainly dislike and give a good glare.
“Rude? You? Never. I wouldn’t believe it.” He laughed and jostled her slightly, poking her gently in the side with his free hand. “You’ve never been very good with your social skills, maybe we should try to work on that, huh? So Elias and Dov are together. What did Dov want from you other than the locket and to answer questions?”
The physical jab combined with the gentle ribbing pulled a tiny smile from her face. “Ain’t nothin’ wrong with how I talk to people... An’ I dunno. Never asked if he wanted anythin’ else. An’ I don’t care, neither. Jus’ want him gone.” Which was to say her self-defense mechanism was overreacting far too much - in reality, she had questions of her own to ask her newly found half-brother, and her knee-jerk reaction of thrusting anything that was a potential threat away was nothing but that. A knee- jerk reaction that was a poor excuse for avoiding something that could give her a connection to the parent she’d never gotten to know. Aside from that, there was the idea of family, real family, not that she never considered Rylee and his folks anything but.
“Maybe not gone. Ugh, I don’t know,” she grumbled, turning petulant. Silence grew between them until Rylee moved to wrap his other arm around Charlie. Gathering her, pulling her close to his body, and wrapping himself around her. He pressed his cheek to hers, burying his face into her neck as he gave a squeeze, and then he pulled away. His lips brushed against her neck and he momentarily paused, feeling his cheeks grow hot before he released Charlie from his hug. It was only meant to be a comforting hug, that was all, nothing more. Charlie tensed for a moment, then wrote off the touch as accidental at most. At most, of course.
But the brush of his lips against her neck sent sparks through his body. He couldn’t deny that. “Well, um,” Rylee shifted on the couch, dropping his one hand and keeping the other still around Charlie’s shoulders. “I’m sure you have some questions for him. I mean, he probably can’t answer most of the questions you want to ask about your mom, but maybe getting to know him... you’d be able to get to know your mom too. Maybe he has some valuable information about why your mom didn’t take you with her and he doesn’t even realize it yet. You might figure it out just by talkin’ to him.”
He shifted in the seat, still feeling the warmth of his cheeks, and looked at the ceiling so as not to see if Charlie looked at him. “Anyway, Lee, he’s family and I know you had your problems with your dad and your mom. They both left you in one way or another so, and I know you’ll probably get mad at me for sayin’ this, but don’t push away a chance to have a family member in your life.”
Rylee had a point, and that with the fact that she felt very comfortable and relaxed (minus the strange sudden touching, which she was doing her best to ignore) she actually felt like sitting and thinking about the situation for a moment. Dov was family, in a strange way, and she certainly had done nothing to make him feel at all welcome. But he’d come on the heels of horrible news, and the timing didn’t help her desire to associate with him at all. And yet the opportunity to get to know her mother, even if it was through a proxy, was something she wasn’t sure she could allow to slip through her fingers.
“Yeah,” she admitted, slowly. “Yeah, yer right. Fuckin’ hell, Rylee Eckholm, yer always the goddamn voice’a reason - Rylee, what the hell is wrong with your face?” She’d turn to look up at him, and noticed his blazing cheeks. She laughed and moved a hand to his features in order to pinch on red and very warm cheek, just next to his mouth. “Yer like a damn tomato, Ry, yah need to calm down.”
“It’s just... really hot in here,” Rylee replied wide eyed and his face becoming more red. “Uh... here.” He slipped off the couch, leaving Charlie behind, and flicked on the overhead fan in the dining area. “Heh... uh... sorry.” He swallowed and managed to make his cheeks lighten in color a little bit before he slowly made his way back to the couch and sat back down besides Charlie. Moving his attention back to what Charlie said previously he managed a smile. “It’s what you keep me around for, isn’t it? I’m good with that advice stuff and keeping you from doing something that will get you arrested.”
He nudged Charlie in the side, looking down and smiling shyly, to which she responded by socking him in the shoulder gently; she could hit him as hard as she liked, it probably wouldn’t have made any difference. “You wanna go find your brother? I can go with you if you’d like. If he doesn’t have a place to stay, maybe you should have him stay with you, that way you guys can get to know each other a little more.” This brought Rylee’s attention completely to Charlie. His blue eyes flicked up, watching for her reaction to the idea. “Look, I got a spare key for my apartment. You can have it, I’ve been meaning to give it to you anyway since you’ve always had some way of accessing where I live. But this way you can just stay here, you know? If things become a little too much and you need to get away from your brother. Instead of throwing him out you can duck in here for awhile. You can have the bed when you stay and I’ll sleep on the couch. Sound good?”
“Don’t need to rush shit,” she muttered, though to what she was speaking about was unclear. “I mean, I just met the kid, and he and Elias seem to be attached at the hip now. Be a shame to ruin that for them.” Sarcasm was soaked heavily into her words, and she rolled her eyes. She also made no move to change her position on the couch. “But I’ll take the key. If that’s all right.” Charlie met his eyes and gave a little smile, then glanced back to the coffee table covered with used tissues and spent taco wrappers. Her hands went to her hair and smoothed it back, giving her another distraction. “But if I do stay, I’m sleepin’ on the couch. It’s yer bed, just ‘cause I spend the night don’t mean I gotta take the whole thing. But you gotta start cleanin’ up shit, Ry, it looks like a pig sty in here.”
Charlie glanced at him again, this time either having constructed a very well built mask or she was simply feeling like herself once more. “Can I stay fer jus’ a lil bit? Unless yah were busy trashin’ the place.”
“Do what you have to do, Lee,” Rylee said with a sigh as he slid down on the couch and rested his head back on it. “Just don’t shut the kid out of your life. I know you want to but I also know you well enough that you’d end up regretting it.” He rolled his head to the side and looked at Charlie. His hair was still a mess, his cheeks now back to their normal color, and his teeth flashed with a smile.
“Like you’re one to talk,” Rylee laughed and gave Charlie a push, forgetting momentarily how strong he was and light Charlie was as he nearly pushed her off the couch, it brought forth another laugh. “I think I’m done trashin’ the place. Let me clean up this stuff. Sorry I don’t have any extra food for ya.” He got to his feet and stretched before beginning to pluck the taco wrappers and dirty tissues from his coffee table. “Stay for as long as ya want, Lee, we can watch a movie or somethin’. And if you insist on sleeping on the couch when ya do stay over, then fine, but you’re going to get a lot of pillows and blankets. No arguments.”
“Hey, I’m not gonna complain,” she retorted, immediately moving to help him clear off the coffee table since she had helped add to it. In the back of her mind was the lingering thought that his bed was definitely big enough for the both of them, and the night when she’d stayed over to help him through his hangover certainly reminded her of how nice it had been laying next to him on the comfortable mattress. Yes, the mattress had been what she had found so comfortable. Right. Taking a handful of taco wrappers and used tissues, she carried them to the kitchen and tossed them into the garbage can under the sink. It was good that Rylee copied his mother in his organizational habits, making everything in his apartment that much more familiar. Once they’d made quick work of the mess, she sat back down on the couch and looked at her friend expectantly.
“So what’re we watchin’?” Part of her wanted to grab his hand and pull him down next to her, wrap his arm around her again and resume the position they’d been in a few moments prior. But she kept her hands to herself, her feet tucked under her on the opposite side of the couch. It was good enough that she was here with him, all previous worry of her mother’s sudden demise and the events that had happened earlier pushed to a back burner in favor of concentrating on her friend.
Rylee returned to the couch and moved Charlie’s feet out of the way so he could sit, placing them on his lap and putting his feet back on his coffee table he grabbed the remote. They might not have been cuddling as they nearly were before, but there was the physical contact. Even if it was just Charlie’s feet on his lap, it made him content. “War documentaries, what else? Or some brainless TV, whatever, you can pick the channel.” He tossed Charlie the remote and grinned at her, sliding down in the seat a little and getting in a comfortable position. Comfortable enough that he had no intention of leaving the couch, or to be more specific, Charlie, any time soon.