Have you heard the news? Bad things come in twos Who: Nish and Jen What: A quiet Saturday night in is the perfect time to vent. Where: Nish’s apartment When: Saturday, July 8, 2017
“God, this movie is depressing,” Jen sighed, fishing in the bowl of popcorn and licking the salty seasoning off of her fingers. “Isn’t this supposed to be for kids?”
“Maybe for older kids?” Nish suggested with a shrug. “Finding Nemo was a little depressing too, don’t forget. I mean...Marlin’s family gets destroyed within the first five minutes of the movie.”
“True,” Jen agreed, “but this...I mean, poor Dory!” Nish grinned and laced one hand with Jen’s, giving her a look of mock concern.
“It’s okay baby, would you rather watch something a little easier, like maybe SuperWhy?” She giggled when Jen threw daggers at her with her eyes. “Ohh my god, did you eat all the popcorn already?” she exclaimed, tugging the bowl out of Jen’s lap so she could see the assortment of unpopped kernels and dill seasoning on the bottom.
“Hey, it’s good,” Jen shrugged. She found the remote on the couch and paused the movie, pulling Nish off the couch with her. “Come on, I need a refill on my tea anyway, we can make more.”
“You mean I can make more,” Nish snorted in answer and took the empty bowl from her, heading into the kitchen to toss the seeds and make more popcorn. Jen busied herself with collecting their glasses and refilling them with iced tea from the fridge, emptying the pitcher.
“So…” she said hesitantly, watching Nish retrieve a paper bag from a drawer and measure some popcorn kernels into it. “I know you said ‘don’t ask’, but...well, you’ve been in a mood since your brother left…” She winced as she said it, knowing it was probably a sore spot. Jen had been warned to make herself scarce during the visit, and so they hadn’t had a chance to get together until now. Nish pulled open the fridge to retrieve the butter and sighed, letting it close behind her.
“I was hoping it wasn’t that obvious,” she said, pulling a knife from the drawer, cutting off a square of butter and tossing it into the bag with the popcorn. She took her time putting the butter away and washing the knife and then picked up the salt shaker, adding a generous amount to the bag. “I don’t know...I’m not upset or anything, it’s just...I didn’t realize how much I missed him until he was here, you know?” She stapled the bag shut and shoved it in the microwave.
“You guys are really close,” Jen said, watching her carefully, her own task of making more iced tea temporarily suspended for now. Nish paused at the statement, thinking about it.
“We were...when we were kids, and then when things happened - my sister dying, my parents dying, and a whole...pile of other shit - that just brought us even closer. But the constant backdrop of all of that was my drinking and using and him taking care of me through that. I think...now that I’m sober, our relationship has changed, and it seems like neither of us is very sure how to relate to the other without my addiction in the way, you know? It had been there for so long that it just...became the new ‘normal’.” She crossed her arms and leant back against the counter, watching the seconds tick off on the microwave.
“So we went out on the 4th, and we had fun, don’t get me wrong,” she said, as if defending an opinion Jen hadn’t even uttered. “But the whole time I felt like...I don’t know, like he was waiting for me to ‘quit with the sober act’,” she said with physical air-quotes. “Watching for tells that I was still drinking and I was just hiding it really well. He casually asked if I wanted to get a beer, just to see what I’d say, and I have to admit...it really bugged me. I actually got pissed at him and asked him if he wanted me to relapse. Now I feel horrible for getting mad, but I don’t want to call him because it might start an argument and I’ll just say something else I’ll regret.”
Jen was silent for a moment, thinking. “You know,” she said finally, “it sounds to me like you’re not giving him enough credit. He’s spent so long taking care of you, it’s probably hard for him to let go now. Maybe it is awkward for you, but if you don’t talk to him about it, he’ll never know you feel this way.” Nish frowned at her, but Jen continued. “I’m not taking sides,” she said defensively, putting up her hands as if to stave off a physical attack, “I’m just saying...talking about shit is way more healthy than keeping it bottled up.”
A smile ghosted across Nish’s lips. “I’m talking to you,” she said. Jen rolled her eyes and smirked.
“You need to talk to him,” she insisted. She turned and flicked the kettle on, and then started measuring out loose tea and honey to make another pitcher for later. She stepped towards Nish when she was done, putting a hand on her arm. “You can talk to me all you like; I like listening to you, but that means you have to also listen to what I have to say once in a while.”
“I know,” Nish nodded, echoing the slight smile on Jen’s lips. “And I appreciate that you listen...you have no idea how much I rely on being able to...vent,” she said, for lack of a better word. “I feel bad unloading all this shit on you, though,” she added. Just then the microwave signaled its completion and she pushed off of the counter, cutting off Jen’s attempt to protest.
She pulled the piping bag from the microwave and tore it open into the popcorn bowl, quickly shaking the dill seasoning liberally over the top. As she did, Jen slid an arm around Nish’s waist and pressed a kiss to her cheek.
“I don’t want you to feel bad,” she said, “I want you to be happy.” Nish leant her head against Jen’s and then shifted so that they were facing each other, wrapping her arms around Jen’s waist.
“I am,” she said, pressing her forehead against Jen’s and letting her eyes close. After a moment she moved again, this time pressing her lips to Jen’s, kissing her softly.
“Hmm,” Jen murmured in approval, “we should finish the movie.”
“We should,” Nish agreed, but then she kissed her again.