nishka//loki (nishka) wrote in paxletalelogs, @ 2017-05-30 17:32:00 |
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Entry tags: | loki |
i am a heart that's hard to pin
Who: Nish and Jen [NPC]
What: Pillowtalk
Where: Nish’s Apartment, 502
When: Backdated to Wednesday, May 24, 2017 at 11pm-ish
“So that was him.”
“That was him,” Nish agreed.
They were lying warm and spent in Nish’s bed, legs and fingers twined together, Nish pressing soft lazy kisses along the damp skin of Jen’s neck and shoulder. After dinner, Nish had had such a bad headache from talking with Rafe, she hadn’t much been in the mood for their class. Instead they’d ditched it and headed home for a drink, which had of course ended up as far more than just a drink.
“He’s kinda cute, for a guy,” Jen quipped, tilting her head to give Nish more skin to work with. Nish chuckled into her kisses.
“You are such a lesbian,” she giggled.
“Yes, I am,” Jen agreed with a giggle.
“He’s gorgeous,” Nish sighed, pausing her kisses and then shifting so that she lay on her side, looking into Jen’s eyes. Blue, like aquamarine. “I still miss him,” she confessed. Jen met her eyes, but didn’t frown, didn’t do anything except lift a hand to gently caress Nish’s cheek.
“You wouldn’t be human if you didn’t,” she said. “You obviously cared for him, and still do, I saw it when you looked at him. And I also saw the same in his eyes,” she added with a little grin. Nish let out a short chuckle and avoided looking at her, a slight mist of tears making them glisten. “Hey, you’d have to be blind not to see it,” Jen continued, looking at her carefully as if afraid she’d gone too far. Nish sighed softly and rolled onto her back, shaking her head and looking up at the ceiling.
“I’ve burnt my bridges with him,” she said, “like I always do.”
“Sounds pretty bad,” Jen said carefully, her thumb caressing the back of Nish’s hand.
“I lied to him, or rather...omitted something important. And that was the end for us.” She sighed and shifted, lying on her side so she could look Jen in the eye. “A few months ago...I had kind of a rough patch. He was there for me, but...someone had been telling lies about me, and those lies also involved Rafe, and it caused...strain between us. And it also caused me to decide to chase some coke with a bottle of aspirin and a bottle of vodka.” Jen frowned, but held her tongue, letting the story come out before she spoke. “At the hospital, the doctor told me I’d had a mild heart attack, because of what I took, and that there had been some damage. I have to take medication every day now because of it.” She grimaced a little at what came next.
“I didn’t want to tell him. I didn’t want him to worry about me, treat me like I was made of glass or something, so I just took the medication and went on with life. But he found out anyway, and...he wasn’t happy.” She chewed her lip and lowered her eyes, so she couldn’t see the frown on Jen’s face. “We had a fight, and...I don’t know if it was that or what, but I started having chest pains, and I needed to use the nitroglycerine my doctor gave me to make it stop. It...scared both of us, and he left soon after. Ever since then...our relationship was never the same. And then he ended it.”
There was silence between them for a while as the words settled around them, nothing but the sound of their breathing and the sudden addition of a cat purring somewhere in the room. “Is that what you were talking about...when I saw you together?” she asked gently, her fingers tracing soft paths across Nish’s arm and shoulder.
Nish sighed softly and shook her head. “No, something...else, but...I don’t really want to talk about it, okay?” she said, shifting to look up at her. Jen smiled and pressed a kiss to her forehead.
“Hey, you don’t owe me anything,” she said, “you just looked...so upset when I walked in. I hope you weren’t arguing.”
“No no, nothing like that,” Nish answered, pressing the back of her hand lightly to Jen’s stomach. “It was...things that need to stay between us.” Missing memories, Loki and Freyr, flashes of them being chased down the stairwell a few weeks ago...it all weighed on her mind, but none of it was for Jen’s ears. It didn’t even make sense to her, it would make her sound insane if she breathed a word of it to anyone but Rafe.
“Nish…” Jen said softly, holding her close, leaning her head against hers. “I’m not sure what...this...is,” she said, referring to them, their friendship, “but I’m here for you, okay? As a friend, even if nothing else.” Nish smiled and reached up, taking Jen’s hand in hers and holding it to her chest.
“Thanks,” she murmured softly, “that...means a lot to me.” She tipped her head up and kissed her, and Jen returned it softly, gently.
“How’s your head?” Jen asked, caressing her cheek. Nish smiled in answer.
“Better, thanks to you,” she replied. Jen grinned and pressed another kiss to her forehead.
“I’m told my scalp massages are legendary,” she chuckled. “You should sleep though, real sleep this time,” she added with a soft laugh. Nish grinned, but knew she was right, settling more comfortably against her and closing her eyes, falling asleep within minutes.