|nishka//loki (nishka) wrote in paxletalelogs,|
@ 2017-02-25 23:06:00
If you ever feel that you’re nothing, you’re fucking perfect to me
Who: Nishka and Loki
What: Loki wants to have a talk with Nish
Where: It's all in her head, right? Or is it?
When: A few days after this thread
Her eyes opened. She was lying on her couch in the living room, but she immediately knew it wasn’t real. That she wasn’t really there, and that neither was he. She looked up at the figure standing over her and sat up, watching as he sat next to her.
“Loki.” She didn’t know where the name came from. She didn’t even know that it belonged to him until he smiled in answer.
“You remember.” It wasn’t a question, it was a fact. Even as he said it, flashes from her childhood danced behind her eyes, and she saw him...this man, but as a young boy. She remembered playing with dolls and her tea set and the two of them laughing at their silly childhood antics.
“You were there all the time,” she said, slowly putting the pieces together. She frowned with the effort to pull memories from deep in her subconscious, and Loki sat with her, patiently waiting for her to make those connections. “My imaginary friend...mom said…”
“That I didn’t exist? I was real to you, though, wasn’t I?” he said with a fond smile. She smiled back, remembering. Playing tricks on her friends and family, stealing from the store, setting fires because it was fun to watch things burn.
“You got me into so much trouble,” she accused, though the smile didn’t fade. He nodded.
“But I always got you out again too.”
“Where did you go? Why did I forget?” she asked, frowning at the perceived abandonment. He raised a hand to her face, cupping her jaw, thumb caressing her cheek.
“You grew up. I had to let you become who you are, but I was always there, guiding you.”
Something in his tone gave her pause and she looked away, her smile fading just a little. “Why are you here?” she asked. She knew that he was always there, always with her, but she also knew there was a purpose to this meeting. Something serious that he needed to discuss with her. He didn’t even pretend to misinterpret her.
“Things are happening, Nishka,” he said. He reached out, took her hand in his, the gentleness feeling strange, but natural at the same time. “You’re going to need me, now more than ever.” She looked up into his ice-blue eyes, enjoying the cold seeping into her skin from his touch. “There will come a time...when you’ll have to step aside and let me take over. I tried my best to prepare you, but you’re not strong enough for what’s coming. He’s too strong. You need to trust me.”
She frowned at the urgency in his tone, the fear. “Who?”
“You know who.”
She squeezed her eyes shut, images flitting behind them. “Abel.”
He nodded, sympathy in his eyes. “I tried to warn you about him, but I can’t help you unless you let me.” She nodded to him, holding his hand tighter in hers.
“What do I do?” she asked. “He’s going to kill me.” It wasn’t an irrational fear; she knew instinctively that it was coming. She’d seen it in his eyes, watched him use all of his strength to hold back his murderous intentions.
“I won’t let that happen,” Loki said, and something in his tone made her feel safe. Something that reminded her vaguely of her grandfather. “When the time comes, I’ll push you aside. You’ll go to sleep. When you wake...it will be over.”
“Okay,” she agreed, not realizing that she’d just given him permission. That now he had the power to overrule her, if he chose. He smiled, nodding in approval.
“I’ll take care of you, Nishka, like I always have,” he said, pulling her into a refreshingly cool hug, like something a parent would do to a child. “I won’t let him hurt you.” She pulled him closer, pressing her cheek to the cool plane of his chest, feeling sleep pulling her out of the dream.
“I trust you,” she said, but when she opened her eyes she was back in her bed. The room was dark and the clock was telling her it was the middle of the night, and she couldn’t remember just who she’d said those words to.