Walk of Shame Who: Nish & Abel. What: Nish and Abel bump into each other two days after their last...meeting. Where: Pax, 5th floor. When: February 16, 2017
She opened her eyes that morning with a clear head and warm arms wrapped around her. She was in a better place now than she had been two days ago, and she felt happier than she had in a long time, despite what happened the other night. There was still, underneath it all, the nagging feeling that it wouldn’t last, that she didn’t deserve it, but she wouldn’t worry about that now, not when the sun was shining and her headache was gone and it was time to stretch out her muscles and go on with life.
After Rafe left, she called in to work, assuring Jessica that she was fine and she’d be in after lunch, collecting phone numbers for the few clients who had small fires she needed to put out. She called them and made appointments, and then pulled on her yoga pants, a thin hoodie and her runners, tying her hair up in a ponytail and grabbing her ipod. It was a run day, and even though she’d gotten up late and had a leisurely breakfast with Rafe, she was still going to do it.
Pressing her earbuds into her ears, she headed out, turning her back on her neighbour’s door to lock her own behind her.
Abel slipped out of his own apartment just a moment behind Nish; contrary to popular belief, he did not time his exit, instead running late for an appointment of his own with a client on trial for murder. He immediately noticed the other body in the hall, eyes glancing in Nish's direction momentarily before he turned back and locked his own door with one swift, sure stroke. He paused, waiting to see if she'd notice him first, or if he'd need to startle her once more.
She hadn't pressed play yet, so she heard him before she saw him. Or rather, she felt him before she heard him. That tingling sixth sense that prey get when they know they're being watched by something that wants to eat them. She froze, wanting to just pretend she didn't know and walk away, but knowing that would just delay the inevitable. This was going to happen, whether she wanted it to or not.
She turned, not smiling but not frowning, waiting until he looked at her. "Hi," she said, her voice at once cold and nervous. 'Go,' the voice warned. 'Go NOW.' She turned away, heading towards the elevators.
He matched her stride instantly, looking much more confident than she evidentially felt. Hands slipped his keys into his pocket, their short path to the elevator stretched impossibly long simply due to the increasing tension that ratcheted up with every step. Once they were there, Abel reached for the button first, jabbing it with a precise motion.
"Long time no see, neighbor," he offered casually, his smile hiding knives.
Her heart was already thudding in her chest, like that of a caged animal struggling to break free. The short walk down the hall to the elevators had felt like a marathon, her fight or flight reflex triggered the second she saw him. The fear was irrational though, she told herself. So they fucked, he didn’t hurt her any more than she’d wanted to be hurt. And yet…
’It’s not irrational,’ she heard, doing nothing to calm her racing heart. ’Take the stairs.’ ’No, he’ll just follow.’
She flinched when he spoke, chewing on the inside of her cheek until she felt pain and tasted iron. “Look,” she said, finally, pushing the fear aside with difficulty so she could look at this rationally. “If we’re going to live together...on the same floor,” she corrected quickly, “I don’t want things to be awkward.” She was drawing on her Attorney Voice now, talking with authority, even though she was terrified. “What happened the other night...it was a mistake.” One she had vowed repeatedly never to make again.
He let a light expression of surprise cascade down over his face, head bobbing as if in unconscious agreement.
"I didn't take it as anything other than what it was," he replied, his shoulders rising and falling. "Don't think that I expect anything else from you." Which was something of a lie, because now he knew one of her weaknesses. Abel pressed his teeth together, clenching his jaw, and just as quickly letting it go as that same old raw, black feeling coiled in the back of his mind, making his head feel heavy.
’Ohh, thank god,’ she thought with a flood of relief, but it didn’t completely dissipate. ’Don’t let your guard down,’ the voice warned.
"I take it you made up with 'complicated'?"
She froze again. She’d forgotten about that. She’d forgotten a lot of what happened that night, except for what the ache and the bruises that still hurt today wouldn’t let her. The elevator opened in front of her, saving her from answering right away, and she went in first, hitting the button for the basement so she could use the back exit to get to the beach path. “That’s...none of your business,” she said finally, glancing briefly up at him, but avoiding his eyes.
He fought to keep the small smile that threatened to break out over his lips, instead nodding fully as he followed her into the elevator. If it was possible, the tight space made it all the more uncomfortable, at least for her, Abel assumed. He could read and feel the tension, but he gave it no more attention than that. "It isn't. But congratulations, regardless." She didn’t want to react to that, but a small incredulous smirk tugged at the corner of her lips at his gall.
Falling silent for a moment, he finally decided to prod her once more to see what else she might produce. "I promise to be polite if I run into him in the hallway."
And there it was again, the fear. The guilt. Rafe may have forgiven her - he even reasoned that she had nothing to be ashamed of, nothing to be forgiven for - but she hadn’t forgiven herself. She’d had more drunken one-night stands than she could count, but none while she’d been in a relationship. Even if hers was...complicated...and they’d agreed that they weren’t exclusive, and that she’d sworn to herself she’d never do another relationship again, something in her just couldn’t do it. Rafe was...different. She’d fallen so fast and so hard she hadn’t known what hit her.
And now this guy was going to ruin all of that with a quick word in the hallway. Because she could read between the lines, it’s what she did for a living. She thought about warning Rafe, but he’d think she was being silly. “Please don’t...say anything.”
’Stupid, Nish,’ she was scolded, and she flinched just slightly. ’You just gave him ammunition, you stupid girl.’
His curiosity over her 'complicated' relationship was piqued. Abel needed to see this man for himself. He offered Nish another nod, however, as though this were a promise that he would indeed keep his lips sealed. When the elevator got to the lobby, the doors opened wide. Abel swept an arm out, inviting her to exit first, in the same manner as any other gentleman. Another reading of it could have been that he was giving her a head start.
She glanced at the buttons, and the one for the basement still glowed on the panel, but the way he was gesturing her out made her nervous. She swallowed back the fear rising in her throat again, giving him a slight nod and stepping out. She could still swing back to the path behind the building from here, it would just take a little longer. Once out of the confined space, her eyes sought out Stephan at his usual post and relief rushed over her so fast she almost stumbled. Purposely avoiding looking at Abel again, she instead smiled at Stephan and he nodded back to her. Her hand dug in her pocket she walked towards the doors leading outside, fiddling with her iPod to give her something else to focus on.