Pax Letale

So, if you haven't noticed yet, there is currently a 30-ft  horse trailer parked catty-cornered across the drive.  It may be blocking some cars from getting out.

It's mine.  I call her the Monster.

What you don't realize is that rather bedraggled-looking trailer contains all of my worldly belongings, including a lot of boxes.  One of those boxes is full to bursting with packing peanuts, which are in turn carefully swaddling a bottle of Borgogno Barolo Riserva 1955, a bottle of Jean Grosperrin 1958, and a selection of midwestern beers and wines.  Whoever unpacks that box gets to keep it, and I'll provide for any other brave volunteers from the rest of my supply.

That's right, I'm bribing people to help me unpack in the middle of the night with fine booze.  And possibly pizza.  Is there a place with reasonably unburnt crusts that delivers around here?

If you want to take me up on the offer, I'll be the fellow lugging boxes up to 507. And furniture too, if nobody responds to my siren call of pizza, booze, and not being able to drive their car in the morning.

Sorry about that.  It was the only place I could park her.  Also, hello.

-Richard Wainwright

I don't know who the FUCK decided to let themselves into my apartment today, but I have some very good ideas. You owe me a six pack for the two beers you drank - and do not bring some cheap hipster ass motherfucking PBR to my door - and if you touch my fucking PS3 again, I will hunt you down and break your goddamned fingers and call it in as self defense during a home invasion. Sack up and pay me back now and we can all act like this never happened. I hope I make myself really fucking clear, 701 and 703.

Adam, I just wanted to thank you again for your help with the gallery. It made things go a lot faster and it was nice to have someone handling the babies that I could trust.

As an extra bit of appreciation, I have a little Christmas bonus check for you from the Old Man. Someone must have spiked his egg nog so I want to get it to you for cashing before he remembers that he is a cheap sort of guy.

Let me know when I can drop it off.

Well, since my brother Rick just embarrassed me in front of a bunch of total strangers with whom I share living accomodations just reminded me that I need to make a formal introduction on this forum to the folks living here (thanks, baby brother! you can die in a fire now), allow me to introduce myself! My name's Ron Nikesh, and yes, Rick really is my brother, and yes, I'm a doctor, and yes, some of my patients are "celebrities," though it's not nearly as glamorous as it sounds. I work out of a practice down in Newport Beach that specializes in mens health, and do some work for the porn film industry up in LA. (As a urologist, I'll let your imaginations fill in the blanks re: my "film industry" work.) I've been here at Pax for a few weeks, and I have already met some of you, but I'm excited to meet everyone else!

As Rick said, I'm up in 1007. You're welcome to come on up anytime, all of you - the view from up here is amazing!

If I'm remembering right, you work for the local Youth Center, correct? I was wondering if your center has any fundraisers coming up or if there is anything you're in particular need of. I like to start the new year off right. I'm up in D5 if you want to reach me.

- Zio

Hello, neighbors. Due to two months' worth of night shifts (trauma unit, Western Medical Center) I'm late introducing myself, but my name is Karin, and I moved into 107 a while ago. I've read on the forums about some holiday parties going on, and whether there or elsewhere I'm hoping I get to meet some of you soon!

I hope everyone has a safe [and not too stupid drunk] NYE. I'd rather see you at a party than at my work, hm? ;)

Hello everyone! I was told this was how the tenants mostly interact - it's much better than a white board in the middle of the hallway, I'll say that much!

My name is Katya and I just moved into 301 pretty recently; if you haven't seen me, it's because I was back with family in Sacramento. But now I'm back! School doesn't really give us a long enough break, but that's OK.

I know there are two other tenants on the third floor, but I look forward to meeting you all, and I hope you had a Merry Christmas :)

Hi, everyone!

I've been considering having a bit of a meet-n-greet/holiday party of some sort here on the second floor. While I don't have a lot of room in my apartment, perhaps we can spread out into the hallway (if no one's opposed--what say you, my neighbor in #209?) or maybe have something in the lobby the weekend of the 17th.

Questions? Comments? Ideas? Let me know!

Crappy night at work. Crappier walk home in the rain because I missed the last bus.

But all is not lost.

Meet ( Gypsy )

She was soaking wet, half-starved and looked like she'd gotten into a scuffle (hopefully with another cat). Good thing there's a convenience store on the way home--I had to hide her in my jacket to buy her food.

I'm glad she's here with me, now. More than anyone can imagine.

In an AWESOME stroke of poor timing & bad luck, my car died literally on the way to buy Christmas presents. One late-night tow and a shiny new transmission later, I need some extra pocket money. I'm actually pretty handy, I really do windows, and I'm a passable tutor for anything EMT/anatomy (no jokes plz) related. Any takers?

Hello! Crapcrapcrap how do I explain why I haven't said anything until now? Maybe if I don't touch on the subject, people won't ask?

My name is Katarina Westbrook, why couldn’t I have a cooler sounding nickname. Maybe I can go by a new one here? but please call me Kitty Rina Katya Tara Kat argh Nina.   I’ve just moved here, though I lived in town for a while now.  My hobbies are extreme rollerblading, underwater basket-weaving, trolling, people-watching, pretending I’m an interesting person exploring new parts of town and knitting wait, knitting is trendy now knitting.  I work at Disneyland, like a lot of people here.   Anyhow, I hope to get to know you all, and the easiest way to get in contact with me is my email.

~ Nina

Hello, everyone! My name is Zio Moreno and you can find me up in D5 should anyone care to stop by. I've only just moved in, though, so you will have to pardon the mess. Hammers and nails are the first things to get lost when moving, don't you think? My poor pictures. If I don't start showing them respect immediately, the boss-man will confiscate them, citing dereliction of duty.

Seriously, though, it's a pleasure to be here and I look forward to meeting each and every one of you. As soon as possible would be nice, of course, but I'm sure your schedules are as busy as mine.

Then again, I already know one or two of you so it is starting to feel like old home week already. Lia, my dear, I have the red chilling even as I type. Old friends only barely have to knock, remember?

Might as well get this over with That's right, you son of a bitch, you're not going to intimidate me into hiding or some bullshit

Greetings, residents of Pax Letale. I'm David, the second inhabitant of apartment 603 along with my lovely girlfriend Naea. I was a little slow in getting moved in, I admit it, but I'm here now - and better late than never, right? Anyway, now that I'm all settled I look forward to getting to know my new neighbors and ignoring my ASSHOLE brother who fucking stalked me all the way here. This forum thing is pretty nifty, I gotta say.

Oh, before I forget - is the elevator always such a jerk, or did I just do something to piss it off? The stupid thing hasn't taken me to the right floor once yet. I'm a pretty healthy guy, so I doubt it's trying to subliminally tell me I need to exercise more.

[after throwing 57,298 darts onto a board with a picture of David's face in the center]

Ring.