Wanda Maximoff doesn't need to be told who she is (getsinsideofyou) wrote in pathways_log, @ 2021-10-29 09:02:00 |
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Entry tags: | mcu: wanda maximoff |
Who: Wanda Maximoff
What: Receiving unwanted advice/truths and accidentally trapping people inside the Hex
When: 29 October 2021, 9 am
Where: Stark Tower
Ratings/Warnings: PG-14 for all that is Wanda trauma
Status: Narrative | Complete
It had been a hectic start to the morning that day, and honestly Wanda was half in and half out of this world. A thing that was seeming to happen more and more often as of late even if she never brought it up. In fact, it felt in some ways that Wanda was pulling into herself more and more as the days went on. There of course were the easy explanation of the fact that she was splitting her time between Stark Industries and her resettlement work and oh had resettlement gotten busy in the past few months, but if she were to look into it, well, pulling away meant it would hurt less when people inevitably left.
But Wanda wasn’t one for that sort of introspection. She pushed those thoughts and feelings away. She had to if she wanted to survive. There were memories that were always there that she couldn’t escape but there were also times where a flicker of a memory was there but then she pushed it away and it wasn’t real anymore. It wasn’t exactly a situation that could keep going but as far as Wanda was concerned, it was going just fine. Besides, she had work to keep her occupied and DVDs of sitcoms to watch in her downtime. Where everything could be wrapped up in 22 minutes.
Even so, today was one of her days at Stark, working to find a way to end the weapons program. Which meant she was already on edge - it seemed that as the memories became more solid, the more on edge she got on these days. The grief. The loss. The fear. The isolation. It was always so much more pronounced when she had to think about it despite how long it had been. Then again, in the new memories, it was that grief and rage that had fueled her and Pietro to try and find a way to change the world. Pietro who had always been by her side in that world yet remained missing in this one.
But she would know if he were dead and she would keeping pushing aside memories that threatened to tear her apart.
Even though she was supposed to be at Stark that day, Wanda did a quick check in with one of the families she had resettled, a family with twins. She just wanted to make sure they were doing okay with school and had everything they needed and well, they were on her way. True, it meant the longing in her heart to reconnect with Pietro was stronger as it always was after these visits but that was beside the point.
Her next stop was a quick coffee pick up and then finally she made her way to Stark Industries, though despite the hectic start and running around, it seemed that Wanda was early. That was fine though as it gave her time to drink her coffee and decompress from her home visit and get her head in the game for the work that had to be done that day. So with coffee in hand, Wanda pulled out her notes to look over.
At least until her mobile rang. Noticing the number, it took her a moment to realize that it was the last Friday of the month, which was when she would get status reports on the search for Pietro. And despite it always being disappointing in the end, Wanda couldn’t help the hope that rose within her. That maybe, just maybe, this would be the time that was different. That there had been actual progress made. That she could finally be reunited with her brother and feel whole again. Because really, she hadn’t felt whole since May 14th 1999 before the bombing. And the memories of growing up with Pietro? Those just reinforced the feeling of not being whole here.
Putting her work aside, Wanda answered the phone. While normally the updates were done via email, it wasn’t entirely impossible for there to be a phone call as well. If anything, the fact she was being called just bolstered the hope within her that Pietro had been found. So when, once again, there were no leads? The disappointment was crushing but not entirely unexpected. The question was just why call if this was all information that could be once again sent via email.
At least until the next comment was made.
“I really think you should consider letting this go.”
“I’m sorry, what?”
“It’s been over twenty two years, Wanda, with nothing to show for it.”
“I don’t care, I would know. He’s out there.” He had to be.
“A person is declared legally dead after seven years. At this point, you really are just throwing your money away and while there are other investigators who would keep going just for the money, I can’t in good conscience keep doing that. For your own well being, you really should stop and find a way to move on.”
Move on. How was she supposed to move on?
“....You want me to give up on him?” Giving up on Pietro would be like ripping her own heart out. How could anyone say that?
“Just...consider it. I’m sorry.”
As the call ended, Wanda just stared straight ahead, not hearing the receptionist asking if she was okay. Not hearing anything.
Move on?
The room suddenly seemed so very dark, as if everything were closing in on her and Wanda felt like she couldn’t breathe. Flickers of conversations she never had flickering through her mind.
No. She didn’t want to think about that. She didn’t want to remember. She knew the voice. Could see the being. But she didn’t want to think about what he was saying, what she had said. It hurt too much. Even as the cracks were there.
The constant exhaustion she felt even without thinking about it. The grief that clouded her days that she refused to acknowledge because to acknowledge it was to accept it as reality. That he was gone and she couldn’t do that. She refused to do that. She couldn’t accept that.
There were flashes though. Hiding under a bed for two days with Pietro by her side after her parents had been killed, waiting to die.
Waking up alone surrounded by rubble with no sign of her parents or Pietro, even as she knew that her parents were dead. Their deaths had been verified.
“No….”
Clutching her head, Wanda struggled to breathe. She couldn’t escape those memories but she could the others. As she looked down though, she noticed things she hadn’t put in with her papers. Not that she remembered. A family photo of her and Vision and two boys. A grant deed with a heart around a note. A place for us to grow old in.
Killing Vision to keep Thanos from getting the Mind Stone, all the while feeling her heart break again. Only for Thanos to turn back time and take the Mind Stone for himself. Of disappearing into nothingness, sweet sweet nothingness, only to come back and find out Natasha was gone. Tony was gone.
A hand on her shoulder from a worried receptionist was shrugged off. Wanda didn’t want comfort, she wanted her brother. The memory she still refused to recall at the edges of her mind.
So many deaths. Funerals. One for Tony, where everyone was there. Yet no one seemed to grieve Natasha or Vision. How was that fair? How was that right? They had given up just as much, so why did they go unmentioned? Why didn’t they matter?
I can’t feel you….
Seeing Vision pulled apart on a table. The grief. She was drowning in it, unable to the surface. Unable to see the light as it felt like her vision was closing in and going dark. Taking her to where she so desperately wanted to avoid.
But you and I, we Maximoffs, we have each other, that’s all we’ll ever need.
A hand to her cheek and a kiss to her temple.
A presence always beside her, words not needed but the comfort of his presence all the same. Shared rage. Shared grief. Everything was shared and they were never alone. Not when they had each other.
Conversations spoken with a single look.
How could she be left alive in a world without Pietro in it?
A promise. Reassurance. They would right the mistakes they’d made in their rage and grief. Save the people they wanted to save who they had put in harm's way. And start a new life. Together.
Wanda whimpered as she struggled to breathe, the tears falling she hadn’t even noticed. The door was open and she couldn’t close it again, slam it shut as she constantly had been doing for months now.
The shock of it. The feeling of bullets.
The anxiety.
The fear.
The pain.
The knowing.
If you stay here, you’ll die.
I already did.
Pietro was dead. He had died without her and there was nothing she could do about it. They had been separated, needed in different places to help. They never should have been separated. They could have saved one another, they always had. And now….now she was being left alone. In a world without Pietro in it and that was unthinkable. It was impossible. He was her other half. How did they expect her to live like this?
The only thing that would bring me comfort is seeing him again
That one thought was what Wanda grasped onto desperately. She couldn’t move on because if she did, she would die. Desperately she clung to the belief - no, the knowledge - that he was still out there because he had to be.
She wasn’t aware that just as in that other timeline, a burst of red energy had erupted from her body as she was doubled over in pain and grief. That the yellow energy from the Mind Stone that had found its way into her was mixing with it. None of that mattered. Not if Pietro were dead here as well. She couldn’t see a way forward. She couldn’t see anything.
The color of the world was gone.
Her body seeming to bend back, the energy did more than drain the color. Buildings were changed, fashions changed, hairstyles changed. And in front of her, a body began to take form.
She didn’t even seem to hear or see. Not exactly. Not until…
“There you are, Wanda, I’ve been looking all over for you.”
The voice was so familiar. As the darkness that had closed in around her seemed to disappear, Wanda could finally see again. Could finally breathe.
“Pietro…”
She wasn’t sure where she was, how she got there. But it didn’t matter because Pietro was there. She was whole again.