WHO: Tony Stark & various Congressional members WHERE: DC WHEN: Earlier today. WHAT: Things in Washington are moving along at a swift clip for once. Unfortunately. WARNINGS: Nah. Status: Complete; narrative.
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It's not everyday that you can get members of a U.S. bi-partisan Congressional panel working on Saturday, nevermind gathered together in one room that doesn't also feature an open bar or shark eyed lobbyists.
But this wasn't to be a televised session for C-SPAN. This wasn't being done for pomp and circumstance. This was classified notes later to be encrypted or redacted as necessary. This was the stuff that got filed under Homeland Security blanket buffers.
Apparently, mutual hatred of Tony Stark truly was a unifying force. He oughta get a Nobel Peace Prize for this.
As it was, his punishment for his good behavior, in even deigning to be here, listening attentively to the droning back and forth across the room -- words like accountability, extensive damage, diplomatic fallout, and threat to national and international security get bandied about -- while trying really, really hard not to open up Candy Crush, was to be the painted target for scathing questions, thinly veiled insults, and not so veiled promises of recrimination.
"We've received reports of an incident just off the Australian coast--"
"--in international waters, so I don't really see the legal bone of contention--"
"Maersk is reporting an estimated loss of $1.2 million from liability damages--"
"--pirates these days, am I right? Someone should ban those Disney films. It's giving everyone ideas these days--"
"And the Australian Department of Environment is claiming there was extensive damage sustained to an important ecological reef--"
"--are you seriously going to sit here and pretend to care about the environment? At least five of you here get bankrolled by Shell and Exxon, come on now."
"Mr. Stark!"
He bit down on the inside of his cheek to stem another automatic retort. By now, he had everyone in the room feeling as frustrated and annoyed as he was. Good. Misery loved company. If Pepper were here, she'd be giving him a look. It would have wordlessly said, Stop poking the bear and act like a god damned grownup for once in your life.
What she had actually said aloud to him, six months ago, was, "I can't do this anymore."
And: "You promised."
And: "Call me when you've made your choice."
She moved back to California with Happy. He never called, and that, in a way, was a choice.
And now instead of finding his fingers entwined in strawberry blonde hair that spilled across her pillow and onto his at night, he had nightmares of broken Vibranium shields and bloody lips spilling out breathless accusations across the insides of his eyelids. Instead of texting and emailing his girlfriendCEObestfriendeverything with all manner of pointless ephemera to stave off the threat of eternal boredom, there was preparing for the next mission, the next worst case scenario, and, after Sokovia, the next goddamn political skewering.
He rubbed his eyes, pinched the bridge of his nose, and then forcefully applied his most patient expression. "Look, I'm not a fan of redundancy when it wastes time. We've been at this, how many times already? You rattle the sabers, I look appropriately chastened, you claim this isn't over, we adjourn and then we go back to doing exactly what we've always been doing, which, for you, is the endless pursuit of filling your campaign war chests and thinking about which corporate board you'll be joining once you've had enough of DC for awhile --" Okay, so from the look on everyone's faces, that last bit hadn't been the wisest thing he could have said, but sometimes his mouth got away from him. "--I understand your concerns. Some of them are actually even legitimate. It's why I'm working tirelessly to make sure that what mistakes were made in the past won't be made again. The Maria Stark Foundation has donated over three billion dollars to the charities and organizations in charge of recovery efforts in the countries affected by Avenger related incidents." Because all of those countries had refused money from him directly. That didn't sting just a bit. "The point is, we are trying. And the world would be in a hell of a lot worse shape without us."
"Yes, tell that to South Africa, Sokovia, South Korea, and the list of countries as long as my arm who are now dealing with the fallout of this Ultron incident that you're directly responsible for."
"We couldn't have foreseen--"
"The thing is, Mr. Stark, is that no one had seen anything. No one had been watching what you or the Avengers were up to. We were assured that you, as superheroes who saved New York, could be trusted with safeguarding the world, and instead, you almost ended it. And that is why we're here today, why it's important to make sure that this cannot happen again, and why, frankly, we're not just going to take your word on it this time."
"You wanna pile on some more fines? Fine, send the bill over. Another lawsuit? Throw it on the pile."
"It's going to be different this time, Stark."
No Mr. that time. Niceties dropped. The temperature of the room suddenly shifted.
Tony turned to face the -- Senator? Congressman? -- who spoke. Honestly, he couldn't name a single one of them off the top of his head, they all tended to blend together in a sea of jowls and constipated expressions. "May I ask what the panel intends to do this time? Need to make sure my PA knows whether to clear my schedule or not. There's a month long hiking trip in New Zealand I was thinking about."
"The wheels have already been set in motion. There are plans for an oversight committee to be formed that will have legal jurisdiction over all matters related to enhanced individuals. Vote is set for next month when Congress is back in session. The President has already been informed and agrees. We're not looking for your input. Call this a...courtesy. We'll have need to look into the Avengers' finances, among other things."
It took a few moments for him to even reply. Hardly noticeable to most, but for him, it might very well be classified as momentarily rendered speechless and as it was, his reply was a biteless, "How surprisingly efficient." For once.
The rest of the meeting, from what he could recall, was short, and once it was over, he uncharacteristically hastened out of the room, tearing through the halls of the Capitol, mobile planted to his ear, barely avoiding bustling tourists and poor junior staffers stuck in the office during the weekend on a Congressional break. The blade had been swung and it had struck as true as intended. Things were moving behind the scenes and, alarmingly, he was not party to them.