Private;
But what if your death is coming sooner than you think? Because it sounds to me like you're caught in a war. One that you can't escape.
Being here is better. Even if you're obligated to protect those people, you should, for the first time in your entire life, think about what you want.
This place brought me my brother back. If I go home, he'll be gone. I'll be trapped on the losing side of a war that I'll probably die in and the only thing I'll have managed to accomplish is being the one who was responsible for Dean's death. But people will die if I don't go back.
Does that make it all my responsibility? Sacrificing my happiness for their lives. My life for their lives. I want to live and be happy. I think you should too.