Whoever drew the yellow unicorn on my door with purple flowers is gonna get punched. And it’s gonna hurt. And the blue carebear shirt that was put on my cat is not funny. I frickin hate this hotel. These people think they’re getting more hilarious by the second and I hate to burst their bubble, but they are not comedians.
[Filtered to people at the Hyperion]
Since I’m like giving you guys pizza and candy and stuff, and since I already have friends staying at the hotel, could I come and stay there too? I don’t want to keep making Oliver spend his money on me staying at this place and I think there’s an antichrist in one of the rooms above me, and I think he has a gross sex toy up there with him and it freaks me out. I could help with stuff.