Faith.
One would hope she'd be smart enough to see logic whatever the source it comes from. One would hope that most people would be that smart.
Chandra told me that I was special, gave me a reason to hope after so many years of being nothing more than mediocre. And then he suddenly decided that he was wrong and chucked me out on my ear without so much as a by your leave.
When I tried to figure out how to give him what he wanted from me, I ended up killing someone, and the guilt and the urge to do it again was so bad that I tried to kill myself to keep from hurting anyone else...only to be saved by someone that I thought would give me a reason to live again, a reason to be able to restrain myself and not have to kill again. It turned out that she was just manipulating me to gain my trust so that she and Bennet could set me up to kill again.
And a few months ago, Angela gave me a reason to think that I could stop again, explained to me how my ability worked, how it was a compulsion but one that I could control. She gave me a place to belong, a reason to care and try and trust the people around me again... And then it turned out that she was only trying to mold me into a weapon that she could use.
I could go on, but I think the point is rather obvious. That being that I'm obviously a schmuck because I keep getting knocked down, but I can't seem to stop myself from hoping that it will be better the next situation that I come across.