Claire.
You can't become jaded, bitter, and cold if you don't care first. Apathy hardly moves one to such action.
And I hardly want forgiveness, Claire. I don't deserve that, and I don't expect you to be capable of it after everything.
You ask what do I want from you, Claire. The only thing that I want is for you to stop beating yourself up like this before you end up turning yourself into something like me. Because this... You should have been past this by now.