As Martha struggled to formulate a response to his mostly rhetorical, but semi-curious question, Derek grinned, watching her fondly. She was cute. He was noticing that she was a little more awkward-adorable than the women he tendered to gravitate toward, but he told himself that maybe that was a good thing. Maybe he needed the change. For certain, he needed a clean slate and, with Martha, he had one. “I know what you mean,” he finally replied with a smile, letting her off the hook.
Even though she acknowledged she couldn't do as much work on the medical facility as some of the others like himself, or even as much as maybe she would like, Derek still thought that the fact that she was helping at all was admirable. Most of the women weren't. Derek didn't fault most of them, assuming that they felt they wouldn't be useful, but sometimes even someone to hold something while he was nailing it into place or marking his measurements on it would be appreciated and anyone could manage to do that. He tried not to be disappointed in the fact that so many of the women were actively embracing the gender roles placed upon them I their previous society. Derek was used to a matriarchal system which, even after all these years since the death of his family, was still so deeply ingrained that he couldn't help feeling underwhelmed by the women on the island so far with few exceptions. Martha was one. She knew her strengths and weaknesses and she compensated. She was driven and she had had no problem leading his efforts to help her set up the temporary triage center. Sara was another, carrying herself confidently and training people to be more helpful by harnessing their potential skills and expanding upon them. Arva should've picked more like Martha and Sara, in his opinion. He'd have been a lot more interested in the women if they were all like Martha and Sara.
“Yeah, but the fact that you're helping at all is impressive,” he pointed out. “You are in a pretty vast minority there.” He shrugged a little when she suggested there was a lot on his mind. There was perpetually too much on his mind. Derek's eyes shifted to look at her only to be advised to look out to the ocean. “You would be surprised just how often I'm out here doing that very thing,” he said with a bit of a sigh. “It does work temporarily, though. I'll give it that,” he agreed as his eyes turned out toward the sun setting on the horizon over the ocean.
Derek took a deep breath and then looked back at Martha again, listening to her steady heartbeat, watching her serene expression, smelling the calm that radiated off of her, and he smiled a little. She was really beautiful. He wondered if she knew that about herself. Too many beautiful women seemed genuinely not to. Pushing himself up again, he reached for her with a tentative hand brushing fingers beneath her chin to guide her to look back at him before he moved in to kiss her, slowing to a stop just shy of actually doing so, to give her the chance to turn away if she wasn't feeling it.