InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "I've got a golden gun...."

Lydia Martin personifies (eunoia) wrote in paradisolog,
@ 2016-04-25 04:22:00

Entry tags:

~isaac lahey (theprettybeta), ~lydia martin (eunoia)

WHO: Lydia Martin and Isaac Lahey
WHERE: Lydia's old shelter
WHEN: Late Sunday night into early Monday morning
WHAT: Isaac's turn to talk and Lydia's turn to listen and be supportive.
WARNINGS: Angst?
STATUS: Closed, Complete

Peel the scars from off my back. I don't need them anymore.

Lydia felt selfish. She had been feeling selfish, but now she felt especially so, because even though Stiles had surprised her with a picnic that afternoon — which had been lovely and thoughtful and had, admittedly, earned him more than a few brownie points — her biggest complaint about her partner in this endeavor was that she didn't feel emotionally supported. Yes, he was with her holding back her hair for the first round of her morning sickness while he was awake. Yes, he stayed close with her at night so that she felt safe and not alone. But when it came to making her feel good inside, like she hadn't made a terrible decision by subjecting her body to all of these rapid changes that were making her miserable, it seemed like all he could ever do was ask her how to fix it. She didn't know. If she did, she wouldn't need him to do it.

But Isaac had unexpectedly unleashed a torrent of complaints that she wasn't surprised that he had so much as she was surprised that it had actually gotten that bad. She hadn't realized just how much he'd been bottling up and the man had the patience of a saint, but every dam has to break at some point...and Isaac seemed to have hit that breaking point. He said that he'd taken Darcy's bed from her shelter, since she'd gone home and didn't need it anymore, and had moved it to her old shelter that Reese had built for her. He wanted to meet her there and for all the times that he'd jumped to be there for her when she needed to talk, it was absolutely her turn and she wasn't going to disappoint him.

Stiles was sleeping so she was careful not to wake him getting up — something she had learned she was actually very good at if she wanted to vomit in privacy in the middle of the night — and she crept out of the shelter to keep from rousing him when he looked so peaceful sleeping. She was putting him through a lot, she knew that. For every ounce of frustration she had that she didn't think he was doing a good enough job from her perspective, he had to have the same amount of frustration that she was being a nightmare to put up with from his. She knew that it had to be just as exhausting emotionally to be on the receiving end of rant after rant, having to stay up late at night and listen to your friend throwing up for an hour and change every single night; it had to be exhausting for him to feel like he was caught in the middle of whatever stick was still up Scott's ass about her and the fact that she was stubborn and unwilling to forgive. She knew that Stiles was going through just as much turmoil because of her as she was going through because of him, so...the least she could do was let him sleep. She could resent him for not doing enough to help her through this pregnancy emotionally all she wanted, but she couldn't pretend that she wasn't victimizing him probably just as much in a different way. He could sleep. She could be quiet.

She made her way through the jungle still close to camp until she made it to the old shelter and she let herself inside it, climbing onto the bed and sitting, legs folded beneath herself Indian style as she waited for Isaac. It was late enough at night that she thought her morning sickness was probably done for the night, so it would be okay that she was here; she wouldn't have to interrupt the conversation he clearly needed to have to get off his chest to get up and run outside. So, feeling content with the fact that she was feeling better physically — if exhausted — finally, she waited for Isaac to come.

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theprettybeta
2016-04-25 03:52 pm UTC (link)

He was conflicted, because Lydia's point would have been legitimate... if he had believed it. He had asked Malia quite recently if she was looking for someone to love or someone to keep and she had told him no, so... for Isaac, that was that. Why would she lie? He wasn't sure if Lydia actually believed that Malia had feelings for him or if she was just trying to... well, hide him, and he was disappointed in himself for not really caring. Isaac didn't know much, but he did know that you didn't let go of a good thing. They came around so rarely, so scarcely, that when they did you needed to grab them no matter what the circumstance. If she was a little ashamed, that was fine. Isaac could be a secret. He would still be happier with her than without her.

"If you feel that way then we'll play it safe. I don't care who knows and who doesn't know, Lydia. I'm not interested in arm candy. ...I mean, in a couple of months you're definitely going to be walking around with me in that shirt but other than that," he flashed her a smile and he laughed when she wrinkled her nose, his hand lifting to brush a finger against the pink skin as he shook his head. "Yeah, it really did. Not that I'm complaining." It was surreal. Lying there with Lydia Martin was absolutely surreal and Isaac couldn't even wrap his head around the fact that it was happening. It made him uncomfortable to think that it was so situational... that if they were back home, she probably wouldn't give him a second glance. But perhaps that was a part of the better world that Arva promised him. Perhaps Lydia was a part of that better world.

"That's how it's going to work?" He let his hand takes it's place on her waist, staring at her with an almost awed gaze. "Sneaking off in the middle of the night? Secret notes, letters that I leave you in a tree or something? I shouldn't even be surprised, I forgot how much you liked The Notebook and shit like that. Yeah, Lydia, that's fine." His eyes flickered down to to her mouth for a second and he leaned in to press a chaste kiss to her lips, shy and testing, as if seeing what it was like to just be able to do that. And god, it was amazing. The way his chest felt light every time he touched her made his head spin, and Isaac was in a completely opposite mood to the one he had arrived with.

"That's okay. That's very okay, Lydia, I don't care. I just want you. ...I have for a while."

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eunoia
2016-04-25 04:04 pm UTC (link)

"I do feel that way," she said softly. "And it's not about that, it's...we talk under filters sometimes and I just...feel like she has more feelings for you than she realizes she does and I don't want to be...that person that makes things go crazy on her when she's still carrying. When the baby's born and it doesn't matter anymore, then I don't want to hide anymore. These next couple of months are going to feel really icky, I feel like, doing it this way, but I don't want anything to upset her so much that something bad happens to the baby and I'm just...trying to be cautious," she insisted.

She'd been attracted to Isaac for a little while, after getting to know him; after talking to him in depth for the first time ever the night of the first bonfire. Lydia had been holding back acknowledging that for a long time. She shouldn't have, in retrospect, but she had. Maybe if she'd just indulged it instead of worrying so much, then they wouldn't be in this mess and everything would've been fine. She blamed herself for that, but she could be upset about it another time. Right now, she just wanted to be calm and relaxed and being around Isaac did that for her. "Me either," she agreed with a twitch of her nose, tickled by the brush of his fingertip against it.

Feigning offense, Lydia swatted at his shoulder. "Hey! You're just lucky I don't have a portable DVD player here. Arva, did you hear that? He's knocking the Notebook and I bet he's never even seen it," she said, raising her voice just a smidge as if literally calling out to the goddess, before she looked back at him in time for him to kiss her again. ...and it was nice. It was really nice to be able to finally do that and not worry how it was going to affect everything else. Lydia smiled.

"You probably won't believe me, but...I've wanted you too. For a while," she admitted in a whisper meant just for him. And then, she kissed him again. It was going to be a long two months, but Lydia decided in that moment...it was going to be worth it.

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