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Lydia Martin personifies (eunoia) wrote in paradisolog,

"I do feel that way," she said softly. "And it's not about that, it's...we talk under filters sometimes and I just...feel like she has more feelings for you than she realizes she does and I don't want to be...that person that makes things go crazy on her when she's still carrying. When the baby's born and it doesn't matter anymore, then I don't want to hide anymore. These next couple of months are going to feel really icky, I feel like, doing it this way, but I don't want anything to upset her so much that something bad happens to the baby and I'm just...trying to be cautious," she insisted.

She'd been attracted to Isaac for a little while, after getting to know him; after talking to him in depth for the first time ever the night of the first bonfire. Lydia had been holding back acknowledging that for a long time. She shouldn't have, in retrospect, but she had. Maybe if she'd just indulged it instead of worrying so much, then they wouldn't be in this mess and everything would've been fine. She blamed herself for that, but she could be upset about it another time. Right now, she just wanted to be calm and relaxed and being around Isaac did that for her. "Me either," she agreed with a twitch of her nose, tickled by the brush of his fingertip against it.

Feigning offense, Lydia swatted at his shoulder. "Hey! You're just lucky I don't have a portable DVD player here. Arva, did you hear that? He's knocking the Notebook and I bet he's never even seen it," she said, raising her voice just a smidge as if literally calling out to the goddess, before she looked back at him in time for him to kiss her again. ...and it was nice. It was really nice to be able to finally do that and not worry how it was going to affect everything else. Lydia smiled.

"You probably won't believe me, but...I've wanted you too. For a while," she admitted in a whisper meant just for him. And then, she kissed him again. It was going to be a long two months, but Lydia decided in that moment...it was going to be worth it.