Seeing the pleading look in his eye finally snapped Lydia out of it. She felt his hand move away and that wasn't what she wanted at all but she could feel the horrified expression on her face and she shook her head. Her own hand was still on his head, fingers threaded through his curls.
"No, no," she said quickly. "No, not bad. Not...bad," she said and her lips pressed together in thought while she tried to wrap her head around the very real possibility that they'd just burned too many bridges on an impulse. Or worse, on something that wasn't actually an impulse at all but had been building up steadily for weeks and she just hadn't noticed until now.
Lydia curled against him, her heart racing. "You're the only thing here that keeps me from losing my mind, Isaac, the only thing. What if we just fucked it up? What if we just made everything weird and worse...?" Rather than pulling away, she was clinging too close. "I can't lose you, not now," she whispered because her throat was too tight for any real sound.