Lydia took a deep breath. That was a more loaded question than he probably realized right then as he was brushing her hair and after making her feel better about herself the way he had. She let it out softly and smiled a little, looking back down into her lap as she picked at her fingernails absently. “Yeah, I really do, Isaac,” she said honestly. “...I—” she stopped short for a moment, feeling guilty for thinking it so much just then that she actually almost said it, but then she decided she might as well. He deserved to feel as appreciated as he was, even if it would end up being a little more at Stiles’s and Malia’s expense than was entirely appropriate. “...I should’ve picked you,” she confessed, her lips pressing together into a thin line of self-disappointment after the words tumbled from her lips.
There was a moment there where Lydia had brought a smile to his face, having just confirmed that she liked being around him, and that was much more satisfying to hear than Isaac thought it would have been. Perhaps because he felt the same way about her, but hadn’t expected it in return because so often in Isaac’s life, his emotions were one sided. His hand continued to move, comb pulling through her hair carefully to make sure that he didn’t pull too roughly at any knots, and it slowed a little when she started to speak again as if preparing to continue before stopping herself. He was curious, and he thought about maybe pushing her a little to see exactly what she was going to say before she apparently beat him to it, and when the words left her Isaac’s hand finally stopped.
Was she truly that miserable? What she really that upset with how things were happening that she wished she had picked someone else, anyone else, in order to avoid the situation that she was in right now? Or was she just going through those horrible emotions that made her say things she didn’t really mean because she didn’t know how to word what she was thinking, and her patience for the effort that it took to dig through it all and define it was wearing thing?
Or did she actually mean it?
Isaac didn’t know if he would have said yes, if Lydia had asked him. When he had first arrived here it was awkward between the two of them at best, he had abandoned her and she had no idea what had happened that night with Allison. They were on strange terms, but now? If she asked him now? Of course Isaac would have given her a child. It wasn’t that he regretted saying yes to Malia, but she was confusing to him on the simplest of days. Sometimes she felt one way and sometimes she felt the opposite, which was to be expected for a pregnant woman, but a pregnant woman who was also trying to learn how to be human? It was a lot to try and handle, and to be patient with all of that on top of trying to build the medical center, keep an eye on Lydia… it took its toll. Today, she said that she didn’t want him to concentrate so much on taking care of her, but in the same vein admitted that she couldn’t take care of herself. Isaac didn’t regret it, not even a little, he loved his baby and that baby was in Malia. But doing this with Lydia…