InsaneJournal

WHO: Malia Tate and OPEN
WHAT: Going for a Swim
WHEN: Sunday evening, before dark
WHERE: The Waterfall
WARNINGS: Angst, Teenage Pregnancy
STATUS: Open/Incomplete


When Malia told Isaac she was going to bed after her disastrous conversation with Lynne, she'd meant it. She'd gone to bed, and actually slept for an hour or so before her nausea got the best of her and she ended up running outside to throw up again.

Miserable, she decided that it was pointless to try again, so she headed into the woods, wanting to go for a bit of a walk and get things into perspective. Yeah, okay, fine. She'd been a little bitchy to that woman, but she thought she had a point, too. Didn't Arva realize how many more women there were than men in this place? She knew that the Goddess had her plans, and that she probably shouldn't question them, but it seemed to her that there was going to be a glut of women for the men to choose from, while the women would be lucky to find a man. Finnick had made a good point, of course. Everyone was sharing, so what did it matter? It was true. She'd been with a good number of guys since she'd been here, and she was pretty sure that there had always been more girls. But what bothered her now was that she knew she was fat and ugly and miserable and in many ways generally unpleasant. She just felt gross and it was coming through not only physically, but emotionally.

It was absolutely the worst time for her to be dealing with the fact she had no idea what it meant to be human. And yeah, maybe just then she hadn't been trying. And maybe what she'd said had been mean and stupid. Maybe she'd just been lashing out at someone who didn't deserve it, and for everything she could tell seemed legitimately nice.

Yeah, she was pretty sure that she had.

And now Stiles was annoyed at her, and Finnick was annoyed at her, and Isaac was annoyed at her. And...they probably even had the right to be.

She'd been planning to try to reach her den, but stopped before she got halfway. It wasn't safe, and she was too tired to walk that far. So she simply stopped at the waterfall, sitting on a rock out of the reach of the water. She took her shirt off over her head, folded it, and then got out of her jeans. Sure, she was pregnant and, naked, it was very obvious now. But she didn't care. She wanted to float in the water, to rest and soak away her confusions. Because she was confused right now about so many things and it seemed like instead of being able to address them, all she could do was make people mad.

After she'd taken all of her clothes off, she walked carefully in the water, closing her eyes as she leaned back, floating on her back with her hair floating around her.

She needed to figure some things out. She needed to stop waffling about what she wanted here. As she floated in the warm water, her mind kept trying to answer the paradoxical questions that she'd been asking herself again again, but she couldn't come to any conclusions. Maybe for now, she needed to just float here, and stop thinking all together.