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detectivespivot (detectivespivot) wrote in paradisolog,

She scanned his face, studying his features after she pulled back, and it was so strange how simple a verbal disconnect could be. He still looked like Barry. They were the same eyes that stared at her in bed at night when he stayed over, tangled up in her, skin on skin, and it was the same mouth she could practically still remember tasting every time he kissed her a little too deeply at work just so he could laugh at her when she slapped his arm and told him to behave. Everything about him was so familiar, and maybe that was why it was so hard for her to get past what had happened. Patty was alone in the world, and somewhere along the line, Barry had become home for her. It was like staring at home, but he locked the door and told her that she was never allowed back inside again.

She let her hand move to brush against his cheek, a tender feathering of fingertips against skin, as if she was daring herself to be reminded of how things were before while also trying to limit herself from acting too familiar. She was feeling so raw, and in a moment of weakness her eyes flickered down to linger on his mouth for just a second too long before she tore them away to look at his face as a whole once more.

"I should go," she whispered, the words grudging even though she knew she was right. She couldn't fall back into him. An apology was appreciated. The truth was even better, but it didn't change the past. She had to respect herself enough to know that what he had done still wasn't okay, and Patty wasn't sure how long she could keep herself clear headed if she was this close to him. So she stood, arms crossed tightly again as she curled in on herself a little. "I'll talk to you later, Barry, but I - I need to go."