WHO: Sydney Sage & OTA WHAT: Pondering her choices WHEN: Sunday evening WARNINGS: mentions of body image issues STATUS: Open, Complete
Accepting the invitation to come to a tropical island paradise and take part in building a new society seemed like the kind of opportunity Sydney couldn't pass up. Things had been difficult, to say the least, since she met Rose Hathaway in Russia all those months ago, and her acquaintance with the feisty damphir put her in hot water with the Alchemists. The ability to get away from all of that and be a part of something bigger seemed like a lifeline.
Now that she was here though, she was second guessing her decision. Yes, she understood on an intellectual level that an important part of building a society was procreating and increasing the population, but she hadn't really expected so many of her fellow volunteers to jump right into that aspect of things. Every time she looked at the network, she blushed at the blatant advertisements for sex. Sydney wasn't comfortable with her body at all and the idea of actually being naked in front of someone and letting them see all of her flaws up close was utterly horrifying.
But Sydney knew that she was going to have to push past that somehow and accept that part of her new life. The problem was finding someone that she trusted to help her take that step. Sure, she knew she didn't have to rush, and she appreciated Cameron's support on the subject, but it was still on her mind. Part of her thought that she might ask Cameron when she was ready, given how kind he was. His size was a bit intimidating though, so she wasn't sure if she could handle that. The thought of asking Adrian was also somewhat appealing though she hated herself for thinking so. He was gorgeous, she had said as much to Rose when they saw him on that surveillance footage in Vegas, but he was also a Moroi. It was taboo for someone like her to have any sort of relationship with them, let alone an intimate one.
She sighed, pulling her knees up to her chest and resting her chin on them. It was a beautiful night and she was sitting on the beach looking up at the sky. The lack of pollution and electric lights here meant that the stars were out in full force and she was looking for the constellations she knew, wondering if she could figure out where they were geographically.