|livingrebellion (livingrebellion) wrote in paradisolog,|
@ 2017-03-11 00:36:00
|Entry tags:||cassian andor (livingrebellion), jyn erso (mystardust)|
WHO Cassian & Jyn
WHAT Hanging out
WHEN Earlier today
WHERE Out by the waterfalls
STATUS Closed, Complete
It had become sort of a habit with them. After their first camping trip, Jyn and Cassian had decided that they would do it again. There was a lot to see on the island and it was much larger than she had originally thought. While they hiked the trails, they talked although they didn’t get into anything terribly deep but Jyn felt that she knew him better than she had when they’d first arrived. When it was time to stop for the night, they’d find a spot and by the light of a flashlight, one of them would write down anything of note they’d seen that day. While there were plenty of resources near camp, there were things further afield that no one had mentioned before so if necessary, they would have a record of it.
This was the fourth week that they’d gone camping, and this time they were following the trail behind the waterfall. It was higher than they’d climbed before so they didn’t talk much but close to sunset, they found a clearing and made camp. After they’d eaten their supper, Jyn leaned back on her elbows and looked out at the ocean in the distance. “Now I would be perfectly happy to just build a place right here and stay,” she said. “Which would defeat the purpose of being here but this is beautiful.”
Cassian loved camping with Jyn. He felt most comfortable when it was just a one on one experience and she was the one he knew best. There was a part of him that felt a little guilty for monopolizing her time, but a larger part of him said if she didn't want to spend so much time with him, she'd decline the offer of camping. Even after four trips out, there was still so much of the island that they hadn't seen.
She brought up the idea of building a place on the trail past the waterfall and Cassian considered it, despite her reasoning that it would defeat the purpose of being on the island. "We could still build a place out here. Our own little hideaway from everyone." It sounded pretty good to him, to be honest. Over the past four weeks, he'd realized that he did enjoy Jyn's company more than maybe he had thought. And maybe that he wanted to enjoy her company a little more.
“Well that sounds cozy,” she said with a grin. Jyn was surprised at how much she’d come to enjoy Cassian’s company. He understood her, he knew where she’d come from and they’d been through hell together. She was glad that he was smiling more, not being quite as serious as he had been and she could say the same about herself. It was nice to spend time with someone who didn’t expect her to be someone she wasn’t.
“I know some of the people at camp still have their shelters instead of living in the dorms. Which is kind of nice if you have noisy neighbors,” she shook her head. “Thankfully I don’t, there isn’t anyone next to me right now but yes, it would be nice to have a spot to come and just enjoy the view without everyone wondering what you’re about to get up to. I’m still not quite past the being paranoid thing but I’m working on it.” Jyn had been on the run for so long that paranoid was her default setting. She was loosening up though but there were still times when she got anxious and found herself waiting for the other shoe to drop.
Cassian wasn't sure if that was a good thing or a bad thing, but she hadn't outright rejected the idea, so maybe there was hope. It wasn't like they had to both be in the shelter at the same time, since there was plenty for them to do around the island that would keep them out of each other's' way unless they very specifically wanted that to be the case. Even though they saw each other plenty during their camping trips, Cassian tried to give her space.
From what more she said, it seemed like she was on board. "Let's find the right place then, to build something for us to use." He hedged a little by adding, "We'll just have to work out a way to tell the other when we intend to stay the night." Maybe it was just a schedule of some sort for them to stick to, since otherwise he'd likely have to know about when she wanted a private place to sleep and that probably meant having sex with people.
Which he didn't want to think about. At all.
"I don't know if that feeling's ever going to go away. Waiting for what comes next." Cassian shrugged. "How did your conversation with Luke go?" That was a safer topic of conversation.
Jyn was a bit surprised at his remark but she didn’t let it show. Was he having sex with someone? Not that he had a reason to tell her if he was or if he wasn’t but to her surprise, she found that she really didn’t want to know. She hadn’t told him about her night with Luke, after all, so didn’t owe her an explanation. Although she wondered if he knew….Luke didn’t seem like the type of person who talk about his private experiences in front of the whole camp but it was possible Cassian had seen something. She felt a quick stab of something much like guilt and quickly brushed it away. Why would she feel guilty? That made no sense at all.
“I suppose we should at that,” she replied. “I mean sometimes it’s just nice to be by yourself. If we don’t tell anyone that we’ve built a place, we can just tell each other so that way we’d know.” And then Jyn would wonder if he was really along up here. Kriff, why was that coming to mind? She needed to find a new train of thought. Then of course he had to ask her about Luke and she felt her ears grow warm.
“Um, he’s very nice. We talked about the Force which was interesting. My mother used to speak of it and of course we heard Chinnuwit. Luke had just learned that he was sensitive to it and that his father was a Jedi not long before everything. I guess that makes him a Jedi in a way.” Unless there were some more hiding out somewhere. “But yes, it was good. I’m glad that the Death Star is no more.”
Cassian had no clue about her night with Luke, but that was probably a good thing. He was relieved to hear that it would be a place just for them, even if they weren't necessarily going to be there at the same time. Best to ignore the thought of sex as he had ever since he got here, except for the handful of times the thoughts snuck up on him. That happened rarely, luckily enough.
He listened intently to her talk about her conversation with Luke. It made their deaths easier to swallow, in his mind. The Death Star was gone, and the Rebellion knew now what to look for. He could only hope that another weapon like that would never exist again and that the Empire would fall sooner rather than later.
"I'm glad you enjoyed talking to him." Cassian was supportive of her getting closure around what happened in the last few weeks of their lives. Before even himself, he wanted her to settle here and enjoy herself.
“I did. Even though my father told me about what he’d done, part of me was afraid that it wasn’t really there,” she sighed. “I was so confused for most of my life, knowing that he was working for the Empire, not understanding that he had no choice, people said awful things about him and I had no idea what was true and what wasn’t. So talking to Luke and finding out that Papa had told the truth and the Death Star was gone answered a lot of questions.” Jyn was surprised that she was able to be so open to Cassian but it felt good to admit that she had had her doubts even when she defended her father against the Alliance leaders.
She leaned back on her elbows and looked over at Cassian. “It’s funny. When you extracted me, I didn’t really want any part of the Rebellion but then after all I saw, my father’s message…I’m glad that I was part of it even it wasn’t for very long.”
This was a different side of her, something Cassian wasn't going to take for granted. Their friendship wasn't so open or trusting like that, but they'd both made it work during the war and he was pleased that she felt comfortable opening up to him like that. He found he wanted to reach out to take her hand in his, to offer her that comfort, but he didn't. It wouldn't have been appropriate.
"Your father was a good man. He did the best he could under the circumstances." Cassian agreed. It was because of her that he hadn't gone through with his orders to kill the man. He also very much believed her when she said she hadn't wanted any part of the Rebellion. He hadn't wanted her involved in the Rebellion either, but Cassian was glad he'd been proven wrong.
"It worked out the way it was meant to, even if we did give our lives as a result."
“I suppose it did. What we did wasn’t in vain either. I don’t guess we will ever know what happens in the future at home unless someone shows up here but we did our part.” For a moment, Jyn found herself staring into his eyes and thinking that she’d never really looked at him so closely before. There hadn’t been time before and since they had been here, it was…”Cassian,” she said. “Have I done something to upset you? Sometimes it seems as if I have and I hope I’m wrong but I like times like this when it’s just us. Not that the other people aren’t friendly and nice but I’d rather be here with you.”
Cassian wasn't sure if he wanted someone from their future to show up. Sometimes he did, sometimes he didn't, but right now, he was glad it was just Luke and Mara. What surprised him was how seriously she approached a conversation about whether or not she'd upset him. His knee jerk reaction was to take her hand in his.
"No, no of course you haven't," he was quick to assure her. How best to explain it? "These people are...different from us. They lived on one planet, some with powers and most without. I find it...difficult...to be around them so much." He was too jumpy at times and it was taking him far longer than it should have to acclimate. "But it is not you that I have issue with, Jyn. I am glad you're here."
She was surprised when he took her hand but she didn’t mind. It felt nice and she held onto it, giving it a squeeze. “That’s true, they’re different and some of them have been here for a while and I think they may be even more different now than they were. I understand though, I spend a lot of time in the gardens, I used to watch Papa but he was a terrible farmer. I did pick up enough that I haven’t killed any plants yet though,” she smiled. “But I like the quiet when I’m there and I really look forward to when we come and do this together.”
It was good that she'd found a way to contribute to the island. Cassian wasn't sure what his role was now, or how he would be best suited to contributing, but there didn't seem to be a great deal of pressure for him to find his way. He was most comfortable out exploring the island with Jyn, so maybe there was more to be done for exploring things.
"I'm glad you've found a place for yourself, aside from these excursions with me." He didn't want to take her away from what life she'd made for herself here. She deserved it.
“It’s much better than an Imperial prison camp,” she said, remembering where she’d been when he had found her. “And these little trips we take, I look forward to them. It’s nice to be with someone who doesn’t expect you to be anything other than yourself. Even though we really haven’t known one another that long, it doesn’t feel like it” She had had no choice but to trust him but she hadn’t regretted it.
Cassian chuckled slightly at that. "I think anything is better than an Imperial prison camp," he replied easily. More seriously, he added, "I enjoy these excursions as well." More than he enjoyed most things on the island. "I suppose knowing each other for a lifetime is reasonable, when we've gone through what we have together." He gave her hand a squeeze to reassure her of that. Even when they lapsed into silence, this was the best part of his time on the island. Maybe that said something about him and what he thought of Jyn, but he didn't want to think too hard on it, lest he ruin their friendship.